Editor’s Note: This Spath story was submitted by Lovefraud reader “Christina2014”
I met him while I was working as a designer.
He was homeless, penniless, hitchhiking through the country.
He told me that his family disowned him and that he is a writer/activist. He introduced himself with a fake name at first, but later, when he realized that I was a worthwhile victim, he gave me his real name and decided to camp out in my life for a while.
I helped him get his identifications (he told me he burned them out of protest, finding out years later that he skipped parole in Illinois), drove him to GE classes and helped him even to enroll into College.
During the 14 years we were together he didn’t work for ten years because he was writing the “great American novel.”
He wasted nearly 100,000 dollars of my family’s assets on ventures that he within months abandoned and he manipulated me into putting his name on a home that I bought. This house has been the home for the three children we had together and still he has been trying to force me to sell it through the court so he can collect “his share.”
He was in prison for physical abuse against me and later for lack of child support payments. He was released just recently and didn’t show up in court for hearing. (I filed to extend the PFA ).
After fourteen years with him, while I was “the love of his life” and his “muse,” he accused me of cheating on him and simply walked away, stealing my last two thousand dollars.
I wanted to die and begged my friends to take me to a mental hospital. I even called the suicide hotline because I was afraid of what the pain he inflicted on me might make me do. But with the support of a few friends and the unbreakable love I have for my children, I endured the agony and frustration within me and pulled through.
He was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder in 2011 after an incident that ended up with the cops finding him in his truck with an unregistered loaded gun and drunk. At the hospital he told the nurses that they are not allowed to talk with his “wife,” but his psychiatrist called me and revealed to me what diagnoses he will put on his chart.
I was completely ignorant about sociopaths but started searching the web. I was dumbfounded !!!!!! As if I were reading about him and my own experience.
Stupidly I still ignored it and when he came home from the mental hospital I told him that I know he is a sociopath. It is incredible how drastically he had changed his behavior after that. He had started drinking even more heavily, abusing me and becoming extremely pompous and arrogant.
In early July in 2012 he gave me a black eye and just walked out with such an incredible lack of emotion on his face towards me that I swear I could see the excitement in his eyes thinking about his freedom and his next anticipated venture, as if he were saying “this pond has been fished out.”
Christina2014 – thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so glad the psychiatrist told you what he was. Even though you didn’t understand the ramifications of it right away, knowing the truth was the beginning of your freedom.