My corrosive marriage to and my toxic divorce from a sociopath are chronicled in my book Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned (available via Amazon.com). My after-the-fact understanding of how I got trapped for so long in this hellish relationship is woven throughout.
Yet, to share the essence of the experience in far fewer words, I crafted the following poem (also in the book.)
If any of it resonates with you, I hope it helps you unveil an abusive relationship for what it is and motivates you to craft a safe exit strategy for you or for someone close to you whose life may be precariously entwined with a sociopath.
The Poem–Husband, Liar, Sociopath
I’m free of him. At last. At last.
The future’s mine. The past is past.
A vulture masked that preys on doves,
He baited me with care and love,
Then tried to steal my very soul.
He came so close; my life’s the toll.
It seemed at first like hearts entwined,
A soul mate I was blessed to find.
But it was false, a trap, ensnared,
Just illusion that he cared.
In public, princely, caring, kind.
This grand performance kept me blind
To his assault of subtle lies,
Perceptions challenged, truths denied.
His velvet voice, so deftly used,
Allured, seduced, disarmed, confused.
He groomed me as possession, pawn,
And if I failed to yield or fawn,
Then I was clearly “selfish,” “cold,”
“Controlling,” “ingrate,” often told.
He muddled and he numbed my mind.
To live depleted, I resigned.
Convinced I could do nothing right,
Upon his star, I was the blight,
An awful mom, ungrateful wife.
Potential squandered ”¦ wasted life.
My strength was drained, I was mere dust,
So dim were faith and hope and trust.
Just lucky that he cared for me,
For I was “nothing.” All could see.
“Wake up!” my faded embers cried.
It’s ALL an orchestrated lie.
The truth? He’s evil, void, and dark.
There’s no compassion. Not a spark.
No conscience, just a puppeteer.
I called him husband ”¦ twenty years.
Identifying names, places, events, characteristics, etc. that I discuss here and in my book have been altered to protect the identity of everyone involved.
Nobody understands the level of deceit he is capable of
Hope Springs
I am sure that this resonates with many spouses.
My son is a SP…and it resonates with ME. I could see all of these things in his ex-marriage to a wonderful girl.
I wish she could truly be FREE of him like in the first stanza of your poem, but there are two little children that he is using as tools to keep at her…
Great poem…cheers 🙂
nokarma
Thank you!!
Beautiful & well done & thank again for writing this poem,,,
so sorry for your pain ….. this was a powerful lesson you now have and eyes wide open ….Sharing your poem with others as well who are in a similar or have passed a similar situation …
,,,so painfully accurate ,,,,
One can just leave the number of years blank… so any one can fill it in for themselves….since the rest seems
like its a cookie cutter recipe for most of the people on here ……
its such a predictable never ending pattern!!!
…and never …ever expect them to get the hurt they caused or pain they put you throught bc of their lies, abandonments & mental abuse ….no matter how much time goes by they will never get it ,,,
,,that was my take away …..
I still have mine sending emails trying to be cute & flirt only its on a spam list with many other victims, I mean “ex g friends & wives”….lol.. trolls “en mass” how personal… please …so over that ….ignore & delete …it does remind me of how pathetic he is when I see his attempts to get attention in such a manipulative way …and I know now he has a woman in his life lol poor lady ,,,how to tell her ??? In the grooming phase she will not believe …
super encouraging for my day ,,,,after three years of freedom….breaking those chains… the first one is the hardest to cut ,,gets easier
I want to remind the mostly women going through this it will feel awesome on other side …once you see them for the lying pathetic creatures that they are…hang in there ,,,,
I am here to share that no matter how horrible your situation is today ….that you feel you will break in half, keep walking & get throught it & out of it ….
,,,,there is light at end of the tunnel… keep saying that out loud….post it where you can see it ..repeat it to your self its important your heart & mind hear that…real love is not abusive!!!
promise …
still waiting to get my lifeback
Thank you no karma there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for sharing