Involvements with sociopaths are often called “toxic.” This is totally appropriate, because whether these predators engage in subtle manipulation and deceit that leaves you wondering what is “off,” or whether they inflict outright emotional, physical, financial and sexual abuse, your body, mind and spirit are flooded with toxins.
Sustained sociopathic exploitation drains you. Eventually, you can become so physically, emotionally and psychologically depleted that it becomes difficult to handle day-to-day life, let alone the drama of the sociopath.
But to escape and recover from the sociopath, you need your strength. How can you rebuild it? The techniques of energy medicine may help you.
Donna Eden and Energy Medicine
Donna Eden, the woman in the above video, is author of a book called Energy Medicine. She’s been practicing and teaching the techniques of energy medicine for more than 30 years. Here’s what she says in the introduction of her book:
Using the principles of energy medicine, you can optimize your body’s natural capacities to heal itself and to stay healthy. You can bring renewed stamina to a tired body, fresh vitality to a weary mind, and new bounce to a sagging spirit. You can manage your energies to more effectively meet stress, reduce anxiety, and free yourself of many ailments.
And, if you don’t have access to an energy medicine practitioner, or can’t afford one, you can employ many of the techniques yourself, for free.
The body as an energy system
Eden explains that along with a physical system, your body includes electrical, electromagnetic and more subtle energies that give your body its life force. This is not a new idea components of the energy system include meridians, chakras and auras, which have been documented in Eastern healing traditions, such as acupuncture and yoga, for thousands of years.
Western medicine, however, has not included the study and use of energy medicine until recently. The U.S. National Institutes of Health have defined five areas of complementary and alternative medicine:
- Mind-body medicine
- Biologically based practices
- Energy medicine
- Manipulative and body-based practices
- Whole medical systems
These approaches are becoming much more accepted by Western medical fields, and more and more health professionals are using energy medicine techniques.
The key to energy medicine is this: All physical and psychological maladies have an energetic component, and can be treated at the energic level.
Body built for a cave man
Our bodies have evolved over millennia. Most of those millennia, however, we spent as cave men and cave women, or in agrarian societies. In the 200 or so years since the Industrial Revolution, however, our environment and lifestyles have changed radically.
Our bodies have not evolved enough to deal with the changes.
So now you’re being bombarded by more pollutants, chemicals, electromagnetism and stress than you are designed to handle. This means your immune system is constantly on alert. Your fight-or-flight system is being triggered more than it should be (even if you’re not involved with a sociopath).
The result? You’re worn down and susceptible to illness.
Luckily, our recent evolution includes the ability to read, research and learn. Information is widely available. Therefore, you can learn to use energy medicine techniques to recover and/or promote your health.
So what are the techniques? Usually just pressing certain acupressure points on your body, passing your hands across your body in specific directions, or moving in specific ways.
Responding to stress
One energy medicine technique teaches your brain to respond to stress calmly.
Eden explains that the daily stresses of life can trigger an emergency response in the primitive parts of your brain. When this happens, 80 percent of the blood leaves your forebrain, stress chemicals pour into your bloodstream, and primitive stress response emotions sweep over you. When you really need to think, your perceptions are distorted and your cognitive abilities are gone.
If you’re suffering from post-traumatic stress, you experience this in the extreme.
Donna Eden suggests, while bringing a stressful memory to mind, pressing two neurovascular holding points on your forehead. This returns the blood to your forebrain and lifts you out of stress. If you work on this as an exercise, eventually your brain will be trained not to fall apart under stress, which can be very helpful when dealing with a sociopath.
More information
In the video above, Donna Eden shares her “Daily Energy Routine.” It’s a great, easy start to shifting your body’s energies. Her book, Energy Medicine, explains how it works. The book also presents more exercises to help with everything from getting rid of headaches to calming your kids to overcoming despair.
Energy Medicine is not invasive, involves no drugs, and, if you do it yourself, it’s free. If your involvement with a sociopath has left you feeling paralyzed, the Daily Energy Routine may be a simple, gentle way to start moving forward. Look into it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
This is amazing Donna, just what I was looking for, thank you so much for posting it.
Wishing you blessings & wellness
Dragon
Dragonleight – you are very welcome. If you research energy medicine, you’ll find that it is truly amazing. Our bodies have profound natural healing abilities.
If we’re “stuck” dealing with a sociopath, getting our energy moving may be the first step towards escaping, processing what happened, and moving forward.
Donna, Hi.
It was such a fantastic reminder, new method & a smack in the face, so to speak, as I am a holistic/spiritual healer, reader & counselor. I find it very ironic that i find myself in this position considering what I do for a living.
Being “stuck” is a perfect way to put it, thank you for putting the feeling into words. Will be doing this daily & focus on getting “unstuck”
Peace & wellness
Dragon
Hey Donna !!! Haven’t been here in a long while, life has been pretty good. Can you believe it’s been almost ten years, since the xspath darkened my door and my life as I knew it. Yes it was a life lesson that I needed. I learned so much about me in the effort to understand him and people like him.
So, why am I here? Well I had a good friend that I used to talk about on here, we will call her Boo. Boo was a mess, drama drama drama. She even called me one time in distress and asked me to rescue her. I tried. I did like Boo and we had some good time’s over the 15 years I knew her. She was bi polar and schizophrenic always taking narcotic’s prescribed by doctors. I removed myself from the toxic relationship about a year ago and stopped talking to her and went no contact. She emailed me a few months ago saying she wanted to still be my friend and wanted to meet for dinner. Well I didn’t respond and I read her obituary a few weeks ago. I am racked with guilt. I don’t know for sure but I think she committed suicide, she used to talk about it all the time. She had a very tormented life, I could go on and on about her unhappy life.
I could of should of emailed her back and met her for dinner, maybe I could of saved her life. I just feel like dirt that I didn’t answer her email.
This is the only place I can vent…
Wishing you and all lovefraud peeps old and new the best..
this is a good place.
Hens – Good to see you! I am sorry about Boo. But please don’t feel guilty. First of all, our first responsibility is always to ourselves. You did what you needed to do for you.
Secondly, you don’t know if it was suicide. But when a someone with a “drama” personality threatens suicide, the only thing you may have been able to do is call 911. You should not have tried to rescue her yourself.
In any event, please just say a prayer for her. If she was bipolar and schizophrenic, maybe she is now at peace.
hens
I am sorry to read your heartache. And I know you are wanting to vent. But I can’t help but respond with a bit of reasoning.
Your friend had enormous mental health challenges. You had NO power to rescue her or fix her or even stop her from committing suicide. If you had that kind of power to rescue her, it would have happened in those 15 years. None of us have that kind of power.
You were her friend for 15 years, more than most. Your kindness is what matters to her tormented soul, now free in the unending universe and able to see that she was loved by you, her very special friend.
We ALL have our own paths to travel in life. Clearly you are a very very kind person. Your remorse shows that. I know you need to grieve, “feeling like dirt” is grief. But try to be as compassionate friend to yourself as you were for her all those years. Her passing was not in your control, she did it out of your sight. Celebrate, in your way, that her soul is free to learn her life lessons and free to try again.
Thank you Donna and NotwhatHeSaid for your comments. The only solace I can find right now is knowing she is at peace and not livng with her inner turmoil. She was 75 and in bad physical heath along with all the mental anquish.
I set boundaries with her, I wish it could of been different.
thanks I did need to vent…
Dear hens, so GREAT to see you here! I drop in once in a while, too, and it’s always nice to see a familiar name.
I once had a friend who was my neighbor. She had lung cancer after years of chain smoking. She also had several other addictions, including alcohol and narcotics (which I didn’t know till after she died). During the time she was being treated for lung cancer, I tried to help her out as much as I could, but I am allergic to cigarette smoke. I could not go into her house, but I found her a caregiver who would come to her home. While she was on oxygen and receiving chemo, she was STILL smoking. One day she lit a cigarette in her condo and blew herself up. She got third degree burns on a good part of her body. After a while she asked me if I could drive her to one of her burn appointments. I refused, because I felt strongly that it was enabling a person who truly was not trying to recover. A few weeks later she died. I was wracked with guilt for a long time. But afterward, I realized that it is my very strong value not to enable people. I am not an enabler. I feel this is a healthy position, though not a popular one. When you set boundaries with a disturbed person, you allow them to reap the consequences of their own actions instead of trying to save them. In my opinion you did the right thing by protecting yourself. And knowing you from way back, I’m very proud of you. My friend was only 58, but she looked like she was in her 70’s. Your friend was 75. It is altogether likely that there was some illness afflicting her.
Hey There Stargazer ! Good to see you also. I think of you everytime my stargazer lilies bloom.
My friend Boo was a mess bless her soul. I hung in there with her for a long time. I feel like I was a horrible friend for not being there for her in the end. I also feel like she did this to punish me for NOT being there. One more life lesson I need to learn from.
Hens, if she died as a punishment, then she did not love herself enough to live. That’s very sad but you cannot make someone have the will to live. Sounds like she had so many inner demons. I hope she is at peace now. You are such a sweet soul. Please don’t blame yourself. If you tried to help her more, she may have taken you down with her. I’m so sorry for your grief and your loss. (((hugs)))
What else is new in your life? I’ve had so many changes since you last heard from me.
Stargazer, Thanks for that input, she really was unhappy. I knew she had mental issue’s and I tried to be a friend but the prescription narcotics that the doctors were so willing to give her only made things worse ( in my opinion ). I went through that with my mother ( mental illness and prescription drug addiction ) so I backed away from her.
I am eager to hear about your changes, married?? You living in Costa Rica? Tell me whats new.
As for me, I am doing well. Nothing exciting to tell, sorry ….
Hens, anyone whose last act on earth is to die to spite someone else probably was not a good bet to have in your life. I hope you don’t let it play on your guilt strings because you don’t deserve it – the karma is all hers. You did good getting away from her, really. I do understand the guilt, though. It’s natural for a caring person to feel this way. I felt a guilty when my mother died because we had been estranged for a few years except for Mother’s day conversations and occasionally sending her flowers or a card. Ironically, in her death I realized how much I loved her (and how much she loved me as much as she was able), and I forgave myself for distancing out of self-protection. Now that she’s gone, I’m free to love her without the drama. She once came to me in a dream and I got to tell her that I loved her. Sometimes the spirit connection is the only healthy connection you can have with someone when an actual relationship is unhealthy. In that light, I do believe you can still communicate with your friend and let her know you care. BTW, my mother was 76 when she died. I’d say at 75, your friend lived a good life span.
As for me, I’ve been in a relationship for about 10 months now. We are planning to move south a few hours to a smaller town where I can have a peaceful semi-retired life, as I turned 55 this year. I’m hoping to buy a house free and clear – it will be the first time in my life ever to have an actual house. This is possible because of all the equity I built in my newer condo in the past year. The Denver market has gone nuts! I’m trying to take advantage of it. My bf is a general contractor, so he can help me fix the place up, and we can live rent-free together – I really look forward to it. Our lives here are stressful because we both have less than optimal living situations and can’t be together as much as we would like.
In other news, I’m going on a 10-day dance/music/cultural trip in Cuba with my salsa instructor and a group of about 10 people. I’m very excited but stressed out by all the money I’m spending and all the preparations. All the stress has physically made me sick. My sinuses are my target area, and no matter how well I take care of my body (eating well, taking probiotics and supplements, exercising), I still get these nasty bouts of sinusitis. I believe my body is trying to tell me something about the way I mishandle stress, but I haven’t gotten the lesson yet.
How is your landscaping going? How about the wiener dog situation? Do you ever hear from Oxy?
Love,
Star
Stargazer, I (rescued her many times ) I just couldn’t rescue her from herself. The reality is she had her own fantasy about who I was. As much as she knew I was gay she would always say ( if you weren’t gay ) and she came on to me a few times. I became more uncomfortable around her because I realized she wanted more than I could be.
I question my intimacy issue’s, my commitment issue’s. I just don’t even think about a relationship anymore. After the spath I just as soon be single. I’m not kicking my wiener’s out of bed for anyone. Yes I still have dachshund’s, I lost one since I was here but happy he was in my life for 15 years. I have a new one I named him Henry.
I hope things work out well for you and I send good thoughts your way…take care and thanks for chatting and caring….
Hens, congrats on the new wiener dog – they are so adorable, even though my snake Veronica would love to eat one for breakfast (lol).
Being single rocks! I would be totally okay by myself. I don’t have a strong need for this relationship. We just happen to care for each other and we’ve grown comfortable together, and since we are both struggling economically, we can help each other with this home. But to be honest, I could go either way on a relationship. If I weren’t with him, I’d be happily single. The need for survival and security are very strong….I want to be settled and grounded in my later years. But I have equaling competing needs for adventure and excitement. So once I get grounded in a paid-for home, I hope to travel and get more into salsa, maybe do some writing and art work, or expand my healing practice – things I’ve always wanted to do. My bf is a part of the picture – I see us settling together in a historic old home, with me buying the home and him fixing it up. It will be good for me and for him too. But I think I will probably always be a free spirit. I doubt I will ever marry.
Sounds like your friend had a very unhealthy obsession, and knowing you, you were probably way kinder to her than anyone else would have been in that situation. You are such a gentle soul – I’m sure many people are drawn to you.
Great to catch up, though wish it were under better circumstances (for you), my friend.
they call me boo too
Used Up, “Boo” was a very endearing nick name of hers. She had family that loved her. She had money, a nice home kids and grandkids. They will all miss her.