There’s a rumor floating around in mental health circles that sociopaths “burn out” with age, that they engage in less antisocial behavior as they get older.
Is this true?
Lovefraud wants to find out. So we’ve developed a survey to gather data from you.
Were you involved with a sociopath while he or she was over age 50? The individual could have been any of the following:
- Your spouse or ex-spouse
- Your romantic partner
- Your parent
Your stepparent- Your child
- Your stepchild
- Your sibling
- Another family member
- A work colleague
- A business associate
- A friend, neighbor or acquaintance
If you are familiar with how this individual behaved while over the age of 50, please fill out our survey. You may complete it anonymously, although if you would like to provide contact information for follow-up, you are welcome to do so.
Please help us understand how disordered individuals behave as they age. We appreciate your contribution!
It’s Not Complicated–He’s a Sociopath
The bitch that gave birth to me died at aqe 75. She kept her steady course straight to the end.
I am so sorry for what happened. I hope you’ll fill out the survey.
Wow. Yep, my mom just died at 90,recently, buried her Thursday. She too, remained a narcissist to the end. Man, the lies I learned she had been telling me that I found out about. I had to go through her apartment to get the documents to apply for insurance and for a nursing home. Instead of finding the documents I needed to help her, I found documents showing that everything she told me she was, was a lie. The history of my whole family is essentially a lie. A facade. I’ve been Catfished by my own Mother! This holy,superior, supra -human was anything but. Indeed, all the things I’ve been accused of doing , since birth, and beaten for, were the very things she did. Now I see this high testosterone thing affects female psychos as well. And yes, no matter how old they get.
She conveniently became practically comatose before I could tell her the jig was up, and that I knew EVERYTHING. Instead, I recited her prayers to her in English and in her (foreign) language. All those religious statues were part of the facade. I must have bored her to death in two Languages!
That’s appalling! But good, clever revenge. We’ll take it how we can get it!
I have more than one senior sociopath in my life (several). May I take the survey again please?
Infinity – yes, you can. Just fill out the survey in relation to one person. When you are finished, start a new survey and answer the questions in relation to another person.
Great! Thanks! I already did. May fill out a third!
I’m sorry you know so many disordered people, but yes, you can describe them all in separate surveys.
Yes I’ve filled out 4 so far. I had no idea. I’ve been surrounded by them my whole life and never knew. I just thought they were personality quirks
I was married to a sociopath for 27 years, she died in 2010 and found out all kinds of nasty things about her. I am so glad not to have to put up with her abuse anymore.
Indeed. I think we never really know everything until after it’s over.
survey filled out!
Donna, just wanted to let you know I filled out your survey.
It was a bit cleansing. I have been living with the damages for 6 weeks shy of 8 years.
Lost everything, I’m glad you found the survey cleansing. Makes me think of cleansing the wounds so they can heal. Best wishes to you.
I feel my psychopath “boyfriend” had fine-tuned his charming behavior over the years — how to hide his evil ways, how to keep me off-balance, isolate me from family and other contacts. He is a multi-millionaire and at 60 years old wanted to give me everything, so I thought. Swept me off my feet with so much fawning, loving attention, and expensive gifts then slowly began to destroy me, my home, my life.
After almost 4 years with someone I never could have imagined actually existed, I am finally free and in recovery for 2 months.
Best of luck to everyone on this site, and I feel so blessed that Donna has brought to light the devastating consequences of psychopathic relationships.
It seems that unless you have ever dealt with a psychopath — you just can’t relate and may even think the victim is crazy, and I must admit 5 years ago I probably would have had the same reaction 🙁
When I try to explain, even my closest friends and family often think I am exaggerating, unstable.
So nice to be where other people can relate.
Rebekah
Don’t forget Rebekah. YOU are NOT unstable or crazy BUT you were in a crazy making bizarre situation. I learned to not explain, and to close friends and family, I just say it was bad, he turned out to be a monster, and I am rebuilding my life to be emotionally healthy and will never settle for anything less in my life ever again.
I know two people who have or had narcissistic parents or grandparents. I do not think I know them well enough to fill out the survey, maybe in one case, depending on the questions. Can I try it and see, and decide whether I can answer well enough before submitting?
I can say that from the sound of things these narcissists did not slow down their narcissistic qualities a bit into their 70s, 80s, and even 90s. These were not criminal types nor violent, but just nasty to family while being high on themselves. And in one case, numerous lawsuits were involved as the narcissist apparently angered business partners and/or people who opposed him. They would probably be called “successful narcissists”, but were awful to their family and alienated from their family. In one case, there was no contact until the end. In another case, there is now no contact though the person is still living.
Oh and I guess I can fill this out about my ex. Most of my familiarity with his behavior happened before 50, but I was often in touch with him or hearing about him due to co-parenting until he was 54, and have continued to hear about very predictable patterns of behavior. He seems to have gotten slightly better after getting remarried, but this likely just means he is happy because he has a new victim to drain again.
Escapefor1 – You can fill out surveys for all of the individuals. Just answer the questions that you can.
OK. I did the big one, my ex. I keep forgetting we are over 50 now, LOL!
I can try the others but may not have a lot of detail. I am worried about diluting your results if I can not opine on something because I did not observe or hear about it. Answering with partial info may understate some of the categories such as which impacts.
Oh I thought of another commonality among 4 over-50 sociopaths, though in one case it may be common for his generation.
You did not ask about internet use and social networking. All 3 of the 50-something sociopaths I know or know a lot about keep a very low profile on social networking and the internet. This seems to be related to their level of paranoia and desire to keep people in their lives apart so they do not find out more about them and their real past. They tend to move around and change their friend groups and jobs. It may also be so others can not make harsh (often true) comments about them.
Two of the 3 do not have a Facebook account and the 3rd does not show a picture or any detail on her Facebook account and never posts anything. She seems to have it only to see her child’s and possibly friends’s posts, though she hardly has any FB friends.
One does not have a Linked In account when it might help him in his career. He just does not appear anywhere in social networking (though an internet search does turn him up verifying what he says about himself is true).
The other two have Linked In accounts. One boasts on hers unrealistically using superlative words and seems to have two identities in two cities simultaneously on there. The other person lies on his about past accomplishments. I know these to be untrue claims, not about his jobs, but about his successes. He did not make up his career or activities, though he takes far more than his due of credit, but he does blatantly lie about his success and misrepresents failures as successes.
The 4th one is quite a bit older (high 70s) and does not seem to use any social networking and barely uses email. He seems to see family social networking via his wife’s account, and usually lets her handle the email with family too.
It could be argued that many people over 50 are not big on social networking, and are often relatively inactive. And 70-somethings have often not climbed onto the internet and social networking bandwagon. Some people find privacy concerns to be overwhelming, or social networking to not be a rewarding activity.
But I do find it striking that in all 4 cases they are largely absent or keep a low profile. And in the cases they do need to be there, they exaggerate and lie about their background and skills in true narcissistic fashion. Given the people involved, it feels to me like they are hiding out.
OMG good point!
You’re right, many elderly people did not bother to learn computer but the ones that do, hmm, something is suspicious.
So, my recently deceased 90 year old mother, no Internet, but she does exist on it.
How ever, 62 year old sis does not. Doesn’t exist. My relatives are listed as my mother and ex-husband. According to the net I have no Sister! And we share the same last name and only 10 miles apart. Go figure (they are both spaths ).
An example bf spaghetti, age 64, exists, but it is all lies. Very absent FB and LinkedIn profiles giving virtually no info, but the dating Websites? He looks like God’s gift to women. All lies.
So, yes, I noticed the same Internet patterns with my spaths as you did with yours.
Good observation!
Wow, not till I looked at the lady in the ad over at the side, did i think about my aunt. She stole hundreds of thousands of an inheritance thatbshould have gone to my brother, another elderly relative and me. She was always disordered, just thinking about her. Ha, she died of cancer before able to spend it all. Her husband remarried before the yr was out. She must have rolled over in her grave!
My family is so dysfunctional, we make other families look normal.