Here on Lovefraud, we often talk about how evil, callous and deceitful sociopaths are. If you’ve been involved with a sociopath for any length of time, you certainly have your own horror stories. But today, I’m going to focus on something that doesn’t get a lot of attention: Stupid sociopath behavior.
Sociopaths can engage in actions, both small and large, that make absolutely no sense. I’ll give you some examples from my own history. But first, let me clarify the terminology.
The word “sociopath” is no longer a clinical diagnosis. I use it as an umbrella term to describe people who prey on or damage almost everyone that they spend time with. Officially, these people could be diagnosed with a Cluster B personality disorder (antisocial, narcissistic, histrionic and sometimes borderline) or psychopathy.
So here are my examples of stupid sociopath behavior.
“Must have” shorts
When I was married to my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, we took a trip to Bermuda. Unfortunately, we planned our trip during the Bermuda Cup Match, when two rival cricket teams meet in their annual championship. The entire island shuts down for two days — including all the stores.
My husband, however, insisted that before we left, he had to buy a pair of Bermuda shorts. The only open store was the gift shop in the island’s most luxurious hotel. I argued with him — the shorts were outrageously expensive, and we needed to catch our flight home. It was a big fight. But Montgomery would not be deterred. He bought the shorts.
Eighteen months later I left him. Going through his belongings that were still in my home, I found the shorts in a pile on the floor. They had never been worn. The tags were still on them.
Risking it all on a gamble
Montgomery spent our entire marriage trying to score an extravagant business deal. One plan almost worked — a Titanic exhibition, back when the Titanic movie was all the rage. We collected Titanic artifacts and designed a show for the massive Atlantic City Boardwalk Hall. Then the project collapsed.
My husband searched for a new venue. After a couple of months, he told me that he had a deal to open the show in an Orlando dinner theater. He insisted that we move, temporarily, from New Jersey to Florida. We were broke, I was terrified, but he promised me that this was our ticket to financial stability.
Six weeks into our time in Florida, I contacted the restaurant with questions about our upcoming Titanic exhibit. The manager hadn’t heard anything about it in ages. Shaken, I confronted my husband — did he have a deal or not?
No, there was no deal.
Then I asked, “Why did we spend money we didn’t have to move to Florida for a deal that didn’t exist?” My sociopathic ex-husband said we needed to be in Florida so we could jump into action if the deal went through. The sheer recklessness of his gamble left me speechless — and devastated.
Hervey Cleckley and reckless choices
Personality disordered individuals often make choices and take actions that are reckless, harebrained and irresponsible. Hervey Cleckley, author of The Mask of Sanity, highlighted their capricious behavior.
The book, initially published in 1941, was the first to systematically describe psychopaths, as Cleckley called them. He presented 15 case studies filled with useless lies, senseless fights and aimless crime. Cleckley’s descriptions are often hysterical, even with his understated prose. Read it for yourself.
Download the book for free from Lovefraud.
Traits of a psychopath
In the third section of the book, Cleckley outlined what he saw as the traits of a psychopath. They were:
- Superficial charm and good “intelligence”
- Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking
- Absence of “nervousness” or psychoneurotic manifestations
- Unreliability
- Untruthfulness and insincerity
- Lack of remorse or shame
- Inadequately motivated antisocial behavior
- Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience
- Pathologic egocentricity and incapacity for love
- General poverty in major affective reactions
- Specific loss of insight
- Unresponsiveness in general interpersonal relations
- Fantastic and uninviting behavior with drink and sometimes without
- Suicide rarely carried out
- Sex life impersonal, trivial, poorly integrated
- Failure to follow any life plan
Stupid psychopath behavior
As you can see, five of Cleckley’s traits are specifically related to stupid psychopath behavior. They are:
- Unreliability
- Inadequately motivated antisocial behavior
- Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience
- Specific loss of insight
- Failure to follow any life plan
Still, another trait he identified is critical for understanding stupid behavior. It is #2 — Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking. In other words, these people are not crazy.
Psychopaths, according to Cleckley, make poor decisions and get in trouble, but are not delusional and can offer no sensible reasons for their behavior. So why do they do it?
Cleckley wrote between 1941 and 1976. His contribution was to systematically identify and describe, for the first time, the behavior of psychopaths. But Cleckley never really addressed why psychopaths behave the way that they do.
3 reasons for stupid sociopath behavior
In the years after Cleckley, much more research on psychopaths and sociopaths has been conducted and more theories have been developed. Based on what I’ve seen, I’d like to offer three reasons for stupid sociopath behavior.
Impulsivity
Dr. Robert Hare built on Cleckley’s work when he developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), which is now considered to be the gold standard for diagnosing psychopaths.
The PCL-R is a 20-item checklist of traits and behaviors. One of the items is impulsivity. Psychopaths just get an idea in their heads and go for it, without any consideration of consequences to themselves or others.
That certainly leads to stupid behavior.
Need for stimulation and proneness to boredom
This is another trait from Hare’s PCL-R — need for stimulation and proneness to boredom. Psychopaths just like to shake things up. They are always on the lookout for the next thrill. Sometimes psychopaths cause trouble or manipulate people simply to entertain themselves.
I’ve heard from several people who were targeted in long-distance, online relationships. The psychopath pursued, proclaimed his or her love and promised undying affection. The target resisted — after all, the match made no sense. But eventually, the target succumbed and also expressed love.
Then the psychopath disappeared. No money was exchanged. No sex was exchanged. The psychopath’s game was to break the target’s heart, simply for entertainment.
Obsession with dominance
Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and Lovefraud contributor, believes psychopathic behavior is caused by their obsession with dominance.
Psychopaths, she says, are born with a genetic predisposition for the disorder. Then due to the strength of the genetics, abusive parenting or a difficult environment, at-risk children can grow up to be personality disordered.
Psychopaths engage in stupid, reckless behavior simply because they can. Their objective is to put themselves in a superior position.
This explains their pathological lying, even when telling the truth, or saying nothing, would serve them better. If they can get you to believe something that isn’t true, then they are superior to you. And that makes them happy.
Explaining stupid sociopath behavior
These three traits — impulsivity, need for stimulation and obsession with dominance — explain stupid sociopath behavior. They engage in reckless, senseless behavior simply because they feel like it.
Dr. Liane Leedom goes into far more detail in her Lovefraud webinar. If you want to know more, I recommend that you watch it. The first module is free.
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