Editor’s note: The following is a review of “Love Fraud – How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan,” by Donna Andersen
By Matt
It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes just one woman to bring down a sociopath. And Donna Andersen became a one-woman wrecking crew when she set out to seek justice against her sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. Ms. Andersen has written a riveting story of her simultaneous journeys seeking justice against Montgomery, and inner peace from the havoc he wreaked in her life.
Ms. Andersen was forced — by both internal and external facts and circumstances — to pursue two very separate yet intertwined paths. The first path was through the US and foreign court systems as she battled her ex-husband trying to collect her $1 million plus divorce judgment from him. As Ms. Andersen realized that the justice system had failed her and would continue to fail her, she took matters into her own hands. From an emotional standpoint Ms. Andersen had to adopt the policy that “to get rid of a sociopath, become a sociopath.” And boy did she.
Ms. Andersen turned her energy into getting back everything Montgomery had stolen from her and then some. Trying to find records of where Montgomery was hiding his money, Ms. Andersen showed pure resourcefulness in breaking into and clearing out a storage bin belonging to Montgomery and his new wife. Trying to shake money out of Montgomery, Ms. Andersen showed unadulterated moxie when she teamed up with another of Montgomery’s victims to convince Montgomery the other woman was pregnant and needed money. And to expose Montgomery to all of Australia and New Zealand as a fraudulent war hero, Ms. Andersen showed pure ruthlessness. Yes, Donna Andersen out sociopathed a sociopath.
The second path Ms. Andersen took was her spiritual journey to recovery and healing. Ms. Andersen makes a very convincing case that while none of us takes the same path to healing and recovery from a sociopath, we all ultimately have to find a path.
Ms. Andersen pursued her spiritual journey with the help of energy healers, psychics and past life regression. Being a hard-headed realist, I at first thought Ms. Andersen’s path to spiritual healing was a “bit out there.” But, as I read her story, I saw that her two-pronged approach to recovery — the factual and the spiritual — are both necessary components for recovery.
Ms. Andersen’s message for me was that in order to reclaim your life from a sociopath you must be proactive. Once you become proactive, the spiritual healing follows. When I looked at my recovery through the prism of Ms. Andersen’s, I realized that after I did everything I could legally do to the sociopath I had been involved with, I had come to a place of acceptance and could move on with my life. Or, to put it another way, once you expose the sociopath and putting him in a real or de facto prison, you will be freed from the prison that the sociopath has made of your life. Ms. Andersen’s powerful story is not only a gift to all survivors of sociopaths, but an inspiration.
Betsybugs, my heart aches for your situation, but I think that you’ve known the truth of the situation, all along. It just “helped” to have validation of what you already knew to be true. That doesn’t mean that you have to “like” the truth, but acceptance is 90% progress in spath situations like yours. HUGS and hugs to you, m’dear.
Louise, the same thing goes for your debacle. You pretty much “know” what you know, but sometimes a confirmation from someone else that “gets it” is priceless in recovery. I rather work the same way. I may “know” something on an academic level, but reading (or, hearing) validation that what I already “know” can be trusted to be truth is validating.
At some point, I hope to be able to feel confident in validating myself, first. That will come, in due time. 😀
Brightest blessings
Matt-
Thank you for the great posting and such eloquent words. While I haven’t exactly figured out what my path is, I know for certain that I am on one. I hope that you now have peace in your life.
God Bless,
Kelli
God Bless you all and Donna’s moxie. I was so wiped emotionally after divorce court and bankruptcy court….and failing to retrieve almost anything, that I just wanted to heal. Now, I am a bit stronger and when even bullying in the workplace occurs, I can fight to the extent necessary. THANK you, ALL!