Editor’s note: The following is a review of “Love Fraud – How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan,” by Donna Andersen
By Matt
It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes just one woman to bring down a sociopath. And Donna Andersen became a one-woman wrecking crew when she set out to seek justice against her sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. Ms. Andersen has written a riveting story of her simultaneous journeys seeking justice against Montgomery, and inner peace from the havoc he wreaked in her life.
Ms. Andersen was forced — by both internal and external facts and circumstances — to pursue two very separate yet intertwined paths. The first path was through the US and foreign court systems as she battled her ex-husband trying to collect her $1 million plus divorce judgment from him. As Ms. Andersen realized that the justice system had failed her and would continue to fail her, she took matters into her own hands. From an emotional standpoint Ms. Andersen had to adopt the policy that “to get rid of a sociopath, become a sociopath.” And boy did she.
Ms. Andersen turned her energy into getting back everything Montgomery had stolen from her and then some. Trying to find records of where Montgomery was hiding his money, Ms. Andersen showed pure resourcefulness in breaking into and clearing out a storage bin belonging to Montgomery and his new wife. Trying to shake money out of Montgomery, Ms. Andersen showed unadulterated moxie when she teamed up with another of Montgomery’s victims to convince Montgomery the other woman was pregnant and needed money. And to expose Montgomery to all of Australia and New Zealand as a fraudulent war hero, Ms. Andersen showed pure ruthlessness. Yes, Donna Andersen out sociopathed a sociopath.
The second path Ms. Andersen took was her spiritual journey to recovery and healing. Ms. Andersen makes a very convincing case that while none of us takes the same path to healing and recovery from a sociopath, we all ultimately have to find a path.
Ms. Andersen pursued her spiritual journey with the help of energy healers, psychics and past life regression. Being a hard-headed realist, I at first thought Ms. Andersen’s path to spiritual healing was a “bit out there.” But, as I read her story, I saw that her two-pronged approach to recovery — the factual and the spiritual — are both necessary components for recovery.
Ms. Andersen’s message for me was that in order to reclaim your life from a sociopath you must be proactive. Once you become proactive, the spiritual healing follows. When I looked at my recovery through the prism of Ms. Andersen’s, I realized that after I did everything I could legally do to the sociopath I had been involved with, I had come to a place of acceptance and could move on with my life. Or, to put it another way, once you expose the sociopath and putting him in a real or de facto prison, you will be freed from the prison that the sociopath has made of your life. Ms. Andersen’s powerful story is not only a gift to all survivors of sociopaths, but an inspiration.
skylar
Darwinsmom:
That’s so unfair! 🙁
But I found the answer:
Alt-key plus 248 makes the °! 🙂
Now I just have to remember it.
Louise, yes, I didn’t mean that you could convince him to love you, I only meant that you could convince him that you loved him and he could sadistically torture you again. Best to let the slithering slime stay away, I think.
Regarding Sandra Brown: I did know some of the people who dismiss her as a fake. I noted that those people are extremely envious people in general so I take that with a grain of salt. (and I went NC)
Not having read her book and not knowing her personally, I really have nothing to judge her on, she may or may not have done all that they accuse her of.
It’s sad though that the group of people who are trying to educate others about spathy, has already been infiltrated with backstabbing, name calling, envy and lies.
All the more reason why we have to learn how to spot the spaths and their red flags.
darwinsmom
It is not impossible Sarah has done what they claim she has done. I found little or no independent evidence on it, including the claim about the MA.
Irregardless of that, her book was my self-empowerment tool, a total eye opener and helped me step ASAP on the focus on my own vulnerabilities, rather than just focus on the spath. It made total sense, doesn’t make claims about spaths that are unconventional, and was based on research, has been peer reviewed, and from what I read research Leedom cooperated with.
Delores
I know Sandra personally and I am convinced she is genuine. She said she used to work with psychopaths and decided they could not be helped so she began her work for victims. She is a victim too. and has PTSD. I am shocked that she has been targeted as a fraud. She even teaches classes to therapists, the legal system, judges, etc. on helping victims of psychopaths. Her work is groundbreaking and she is determined to educate society about this evil and help prosecute them while also helping potential targets and recovering victims. These accusations all seem personally motivated, perhaps she told a spouse he met the criteria. She will do that based on a questionere and not claim it is a diagnosis. She has worked with Leedom and other reputible profesionals and as far as I am aware, she still does.
Delores
Alt 248 did nothing for me 🙁
Louise
darwinsmom:
I agree. I know. That is why I do not contact him and will not. I don’t want to ever make a fool of myself like that again…throwing myself at his feet.
Louise
skylar:
I knew what you meant. I know I could convince him that I love HIM. You all were saying that the texts I sent just made it seem to him like I was playing a game (since that is what he would do). So yeah, you said the only way I could convince him that I was telling the truth was to ACT. Then I said I agreed…I know I could convince him of the truth if I was to act, but of course, I said I would not do that. So yes, we were on the same page. I could never humiliate myself like that again.
Louise
darwinsmom:
Thank you so much for opening my eyes up to what happened.
skylar
Betsy,
did you hold down the ALT-key WHILE entering the sequence: 248 ?
darwinsmom
Louise,
Hugs! Glad to have been able to answer your questions about this. I do think you already knew the answers, or you wouldn’t have recognized them… It sometimes just helps to have someone else say them out loud for you 🙂
Louise
darwinsmom:
Yes, subconsciously, I think I knew what had happened. It really does help to read it; to see it explained in print. 🙂