Woman meets guy online. Woman decides guy is not for her. Guy doesn’t want to hear it. Guy wants wants to meet her RIGHT NOW to hug her neck. Woman doesn’t respond. Guy promises the greatest love ever. Woman tells guy to STOP. Guy ramps up the attention.
Read the entire audacious interaction, complete with the guy saying it was all a joke, at womenexplode.com.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
style – lots of guys start out like this? i am having a big reaction to your way of dealing with this, the rationalization you offer for even answering his first email. that very first email is full on red flag – and I have to challenge you on this. Yes, it can escalate or not – but why do you respond to anyone who works at that level? who needs to respond to ‘lots of guys’ – how about just responding to nice and grounded, and not weird?
I know i am pushing it – and I know you probably will be irritated with me – but i find your lack of self respect and boundaries extremely disturbing. I know you have a lot of time in post spath, longer than me..maybe i am missing something here, but i don’t think so.
mendingthebrokenpieces
Wow..that guy is a real piece of work.
one step …thanks for saying the” intestinal parasites” bit. That made made me lol.
Seriously though..that guy is freaky. Aren’t they supposed to hide the crazy stuff a little better at first to try to suck us in? ..saying that his insides were churning or whatever… Weird.
Maryjane
one step .. I am not irritated..
This is all for learning.. that is why I put it out there..
I have been single 15 years.. I have seen it all..
I have never encountered anyone like this man..
I don’t interact with lots of men.. but many start out with some silly over the top compliment.. and some don’t.. that isn’t necessarily the total indication..
I have a man friend now that approached me that way in a car dealership.. and we are really good friends…
He approached me something like.. “When you walked in I lost my breathe!”
And I jabbed back.. “Freak.”
And we have been friends for years..and he is not a stalker.. he was the one that called this man to ask that he leave me alone..
So ‘just the words’ aren’t always the total indication..
But sure they can be..
I have no lack of self-respect.. or boundaries.. I cut this guy off fast.. he just kept it up.. which I have never had occur like this before..
I mean a couple of emails, one five minute phone call.. I knew he was off and I cut it off.. and he continued and now, I am having to go to greater lengths to cut it off…
And yes, his emails are classic… I ‘get’ it.. I am shairing for benefit…
dancingnancies
While the “you have my insides churning” was pretty darn creepy, I think it’s an honest mistake. Two people can see violet and one might deem it dark blue, while the other may plainly and clearly proclaim that it’s violet. Or the perspective with which it was approached- thinking such words harmless, brushing it off as a joke, or something of that nature. Of course I hope that you DO consider such things now not only RED FLAGS but freakin’ bloody red flags.. but can understand why you may have interpreted it differently. As “okay that line was creepy but hey, this guy might actually be nice. I may just give him the benefit of the doubt ( A mistake we all can potentially make )” ( which is wrong dead wrong but now we know! That’s what learning’s all about. )
..As a side note I hope this guy rots in hell.
dancingnancies
Like I know when I was involved with the P, some “bad manners” or whatever I kind of brushed off as lack of social skills, I actually kind of felt sorry for the guy? ( I know, punch me now. ) But yeah, it’s all just another lesson to learn. Don’t let “pity” be your motivating force in remaining involved, and don’t as Dr. Rubenstein said “Make buckets” that serve to excuse appalling behavior.
Maryjane
It’s all hindsight.. yes.. I thought him forward.. but again..
My insides are churning didn’t send alarm bells..
I have had these kind of comments many times in my life.. and they are not an indication of pathology.. just dumb struck men…
Him calling me a liar.. and his erratic talk is what freaked me to cut it off..
I did and he is still going strong. I think he is mentally ill.. bi-polar perhaps…
anyway…
Men can say goofy things when they are besotted…
it’s what comes after.. the actions.. etc…
dancingnancies
I think it’s safe to say we need lay the “what if’s” to rest after the Spath. What if he’s actually a good guy. What if he meant to do this. In theory, yes, your “what if’s” may be right. But is it worth it to act based on “what if’s”? If you find yourself asking yourself these questions around someone now, after having learned about the Spath, it’s an indication that you need to bolt, and quick.
kim frederick
Wow, Style. One small response got you up to your neck with this hot mess? Definately disordered.
Are you familiar with Dimitri the lover? Google it and listen to his recorded message to Olga. So obviously Narcissistic!
I’m sorry you had this brush with disorder. I agree with One-step. Stop posting anything about him…ignore! Go gray rock on him! He’s probably getting off on the attention and drama. Sick f— that he is.
Maryjane
He’s been blocked on all levels.. My sharing this was to show how fast they can get going.. and with so little contact. This went from 0 to 100 in record speed.. he got me in his sights and would not let go…
And how even somone ‘aware’ can get blindsided.
And flip little remarks and compliments can’t always reveal how ‘ill’ someone is…
There are lots of really lonely and sick people in this world. It is sad.. and this is just how vigilant we must be to keep distortion out of our lives..
My site is two blogs past him…www.womenexplode.com
Rock on… thanks for your posts and insights..
Maryjane
Have fun!
http://blog.womenexplode.com/2010/12/15/single-or-in-a-relationship-live-create-new-experiences.aspx