Woman meets guy online. Woman decides guy is not for her. Guy doesn’t want to hear it. Guy wants wants to meet her RIGHT NOW to hug her neck. Woman doesn’t respond. Guy promises the greatest love ever. Woman tells guy to STOP. Guy ramps up the attention.
Read the entire audacious interaction, complete with the guy saying it was all a joke, at womenexplode.com.
Maryjane
Skylar, thanks for your thoughts and prayer..
The main point is that I said no I am not interested and he disregards me and continues with his force upon me to do as he wishes. That is no friend and is not a nice person and is perhaps, even a dangerous person.
Maybe I could have not responded at all .. but I did and this is what occurred after I say no not interested and do not contact me!
It can happen in a flash..
I have had goofier people go away when I said no..
Just for some reason this person didn’t and it goes to show whoa, you neve Know!
Maybee some on here would’ve seen it faster or reconized his dysfunction earlier.. but I was and am busy and wasn’t paying that much attention.. maybe that is a part of the awareness to me..
To pay closer attention.. I wasn’t even sure who the email was from that was calling me a liar.. I am not a liar and don’t want to be called one and am not called one.
So it is what it is..
I said NO GO WAY
And fifty plus emails came after…
Maryjane
Like a woman that is raped caused it because she is pretty or because of what she wore..
Some of you think of how you are looking at things..
Sure there is personal responsiblity but no one can know, create, cause or predict how others will react and behave all the time..
And you can’t stop living and being who you are… in fear…
Ox Drover
Style, I don’t think it is a matter of (quote “You can’t stop living and being who you are…in fear”) but a matter of CAUTION, more awareness of what is going on around us.
A while back my son and I were walking on the edge of the woods and as we walked along, the birds scolded us and I observed a rabbit in the grass ahead. He heard the birds scolding and he STOPPED eating and swiveled his ears in every direction, listening for a sound of a predator approaching. My son and I stopped as well, and stood stock still. The birds stopped scolding and the rabbit, went back to eating, but he hopped over closer to a brush pile so if he had to scurry away from a predator he had a safe place to run to.
Our environment is a “noisy” one, especially if we are very busy with work, social networking sites, our web sites, our friends and family and messages coming and going, flying off in different directions….and sometimes we don’t hear a predator approach because of the “background noise” until that predator makes a LOT OF NOISE.
The man in the e mails went I think unnoticed in your “noisy environment” and you didn’t seem to realize he was crossing into your territory in a predatory stalk until he was making a LOT OF NOISE.
In our society today we may “set a boundary” like you did with him, “Go away, I don’t want to correspond with you” which he DID NOT RESPECT. You expected a “normal” person to RESPECT the boundary you had set and were somewhat I think “shocked’ or “surprised” when he did not respect this boundary as you would have expected.
When you eventually realized he did not respect your boundaries, and would not, you went to the police (good move).
Maybe in the future the lesson from this for us all might be that we LISTEN MORE CAREFULLY to our ENVIRONMENT and be like the rabbit, listen to the sounds around us that might be a predator sneaking up on us and be prepared to bolt. That doesn’t mean we live in TERROR (although at one point I had to flee my home in fear of my life) but I do LIVE CAUTIOUSLY and listen to the environment around me for sounds that I might be in danger.
Ted Bundy was good at pacifying the “danger signals” for his victims, by pretending to be wounded and in need of assistance. Those women did not exercise DUE CAUTION and died for their trouble. Would I have exercised more caution than they did? I don’t know if I would have pre-TERROR, but I know I would NOW exercise more caution with a stranger, and especially one that shows any signs of aggression (accusing you of being a liar I think is a form of aggression, pushing his “mind reading” thing —you want me as much as I want you—-and so on) The rabbit learns by near escapes and I think the escapes we make are good learning tools for us as well. Fortunately, we can also communicate to each other about other near escapes and don’t have to personally experience each “learning opportunity.”
Peace and Joy
Ox Drover
Here’s an interesting article about an e mail exchange from the Wikileaks guy and a girl.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1339287/Stalker-style-emails-WikiLeaks-boss-Julian-Assange-sent-19-year-old-girl-student-revealed.html
Maryjane
Oxy, good nature analogy..
just need to be ever vigilant.. and aware.. but Had lunch with a friend and they felt as I did … I could not have known how looney this character turned out to be..
I follow my gut and cut it.. I had my animal instincts .. but he slide under the radar for a few minutes enought to get in.. then I had to close him off….
Maryjane
Oxy. thanks for link … so similar in dynamics.. the chastising for not doing as he wants..
GEEZ.. my stralker guy is a classic..
one/joy_step_at_a_time
OXY! REALLY good post @4:40 PM
and that wounded bird crap (hehe), the spath wouldn’t have snared me without it…so it is one of the rustling sounds I have to learn to pay close attention to.
I find that I do it here…I usually watch and wait to see who people are for awhile, because we all come with stories of woundedness; and if i see things that concern me, i step way back and watch some more. It’s good because i also see the areas of woundedness that still grab me immediately – and i can make decisions about how/if to respond as i have a bit of distance – it’s all words and computer screens, not people in my 3D life.
Ox Drover
Listening to our environment I think is SO important, and our environments are so “noisy” with things distracting our attention from what is going on around us in the world. The TV is on all the time, the radio, even music playing in the background all the time interferes I think with our ability to concentrate on what is going on inside the areas around us.
We can’t hear the “twig break” when the predator steps on it because there is too much noise in the area. Our attention is diverted, distracted way too much.
I know that the physical noise in our environment literally wears our ear parts out, and because of so much noise in our environments an 80 year old native American who lived in a much quieter atmosphere would be able to hear better than a 15 year old today because our kids are used to so much NOISE in their environment. (That is why I am classified as profoundly deaf–years in loud airplanes, and unprotected hearing around gun fire.)
I think the other kinds of “noise” in our environments also keep us where we aren’t as aware, our brains have to “BLOCK OUT” TOO MUCH in order to cope so we dismiss too many “danger signals” as “oh, that’s nothing.” We trivalize things we should pay attention to.
In effect we “smell the smoke” but DENY the FIRE is there. “Nah, the house couldn’t be on FIRE!, I’m just over reacting.”
Our brains and instincts are saying “Hey, folks, WHERE THERE IS SMOKE THERE IS FIRE! WAKE UP! PAY ATTENTION!” and we tell it “Oh, shut up, you are too paranoid.” LOL
If our ancestors had not learned to WITH HOLD trust from strangers, strange sounds, strangeness of any kind, we wouldn’t be there today. That’s not being afraid of life, that is being cautious and wise.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
in buddhism our bodies are considered part of our environment.
Ox Drover
Dear One_step,
I agree that our bodies are part of our environment—I can’t even see how our bodies could NOT be part of it. Just as I think our “environment” is in the womb as well, not just after birth, and even twins I dont’ think have an EXACTLY the same environment, as the placenta is placed differently even for twins so one may get more nutrition than the other etc. Even identical twins raised together have a different environment from conception.
The physical stresses our bodies experience are also influential on our thinking and feelings.
When our bodies are tired we also have “tired minds” as well, and vice versa.