By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
When I read the news sometimes I just want to cry. It seems the news is filled with hate, prejudice, evil and just plain mean stuff!
The following article about a young man who was “hazed” to death in a college band and beaten so badly that his muscles were destroyed, made me just have to stop and “take a breath” before I could continue to read such a sad story.
Expert: Autopsy of Florida A&M drum major shows badly beaten muscles
An entire group of college age young adults who would inflict such punishment on a fellow band member, a person they probably called a “friend,” is beyond belief to me. This was not some group of inner city dropped out kids on drugs who were gang members; these young people were the “flower” of our society, receiving an education at college level.
I sincerely doubt that any of these young people who pummeled their friend hard enough to destroy his muscles intended for him to die, or be so severely injured that he would be crippled, yet that is exactly what they did. They killed him. The entire group on the bus participated in manslaughter.
In light of the Penn State scandal of child abuse that was “openly rumored” around campus, this school also had “open rumors” about hazing in the band that was no “big secret.” Apparently it was not seriously addressed by the band director or the administration of the school. I can only imagine what the family of this young man feels after his death, knowing that he wanted to be accepted badly enough that he was willing to participate in such a “ritual.”
I sincerely doubt that many, if any, of the young people who participated in such a ritual were what we would likely label as “psychopathic.” But for whatever reason that can be ascribed to the behavior that led to this young man’s mutilation and torture (I can’t find other words that fit), they behaved in a way that is totally unacceptable in a civilized society.
In order to stop this kind of behavior it is going to take not only the administrations of schools, coaches, and directors of programs, but it is going to take students who will stand up and say, “I will not be a part of this kind of behavior. I will not participate.”
I think about the times that I have participated in things that were painful to me, just like this young man did, because I wanted to be accepted by the people who were pummeling me with their words or their fists. I was afraid to stand up and say, “I don’t deserve to be treated like this,” or say, “People who treat me like this are NOT my friends, because friends do not hurt each other.” I felt shamed when those I loved treated me poorly, lied to me, physically or emotionally hurt me, but I’ve decided to stand up now, to face those who try to tell me that I must be abused in order to be accepted. To face those who would abuse me, and say a resounding “NO!!!! I will not be abused.”
Let us all stand up for those who are not yet strong enough to stand up and shout “NO!” and to speak out for them that abuse is NOT OKAY!
Oxy – I didn’t know that it was possible to die from muscle injuries. I suppose all the kids that beat the poor drum major didn’t know either.
Still, there is no excuse for that behavior. How does such a “tradition” – running the gauntlet on the bus – ever get started?
Donna, Many people who died in the earthquakes were trapped by an arm or a leg, and the muscles started dying, and the dying muscle tissue sends out chemicals that will kill the kidneys etc., so the terrible pummeling that he got literally burst the muscle cells from the impact. It was like he rolled down a mountain side.
I noticed in the report that he was not hit in the head or anywhere that clothing would not cover the injuries so this was a deliberate attempt to cover up the injuries. I am also not sure that bare fists could do this kind of damage (that’s just my thoughts, I don’t have proof that they used weapons of some kind).
This young man was 26 years old as well, he was older than I presume most of the band members were, and he was a “big guy” not a small man. The fact that he took this pummeling, made me realize that this running the gauntlet was a “tradition” with this group, and he was not willing to stand up against it. Of course, for whatever reason his pummeling must have been worse than the “usual” version of this “beating in.” Maybe because he was bigger than the usual student, they used weapons when usually it was only fists that were used, I’m not sure and I guess no one is.
What is amazing to me though is that this “gang initiation” type of “beating into the group” which is recognized in inner city gangs who are beaten for X number of seconds as a way to show that they “can take it” was done in a college setting, in fact, was fairly well “known” to be done, and neither the students nor the “adults” in charge did anything to stop it until a young man died!
Yet, I’m not sure why I am so surprised, because I look at the things I endured from those “friends” and “family” and people who supposedly “loved” me, and I didn’t stand up and say “NO! That’s abuse. I won’t tolerate it!”
I notice in the news though, that there are various coaches, journalists, and others who are being “outed” for pedophilia since the Sandusky thing came out, and hopefully, this young man’s death will make more school administrations put a stop to this sort of thing, in sports and in fraternities, etc. so maybe at least there will be some positive come out of the negative.
It’s hard to wrap my mind around something like this. What a violent society we live in.
This week was a beautiful one… Every year the week before Christmass 3 DJs have closed themselves up in a glass house, on some square in a Belgian city… only living on smoothies and juices. They play music on request if people pay for it. It’s to help a certain red cross project they pick. This year it’s against diahrea. Before it has been malaria, mothers on the run from war, drinking water, landmines, … The beautiful thing is that the whole week kids, students, teachers, hospitals, employees, companies, state admin workers, etc, set up activities and actions with sponsoring to donate money in return for a song, and come to deliver the money at the glass house. It’s like a giant social movement and every person in this country gets involved and together, right before Christmass to make the world a better place a bit somewhere. And it’s this that makes it beautiful. Imagine several youngsters gathering 1500$ to request one song. My university gathered 43000 €. The public high schools gathered 120.000 €.
It’s the last house before they get freed from the house and the final gathered sum of money gets to be known.
I just wanted to share the link to the live streem for the last few hours (it’s in Dutch, but still etertaining)
http://www.stubru.be/live
Thanks, Darwin’s mom,
there ARE good things and good people in this world as well as evil ones, and focusing on the good is a thing that we can do to raise our spirits! Especially at this time of year.Thanks for the link!
Darwinsmom, I’m sorry but I’m cracking up over here imagining DJ’s holed up in a glass house raising money for diarrhea. ha ha ha
I think human beings are manifesting their very best when they are involved in some altruistic project like this. What a really AWESOME thing to do!
Star, you are right! I hadn’t thought about the “glass house” and the “diarrhea” part! LOL Well, at least they are not throwing stones!
Stargazer, it’s hilarious… people are creative with the names for their fundraising projects: This is the “shits”! They sell toilet paper. Kids make craft projects looking like faeces. Their was an acitivity called ‘buikloop’, it’s the nicer name for diarrhea… if you translate it literally, it means ‘stomach running’. So the activity were people lying on the floor (hundreds, even thousand of them) and someone else had to walk from stomach to stomach. Raising mney for each stomach she crossed that way.
Actually the square is 15 mins walk away from where I live, so I’ve been there to watch some rock artists (includig iternational ones: saw Smith and Burrows, Birdy) give a roof concert on the top of the glass house. It finishes in 2 hours. Guess where I’m going soon again 🙂
Ox, I read the article. That made me sick. I know you think there were likely few or no pathologicals in the group, but I wonder if there could be just one ring leader that calls all the shots. Maybe someone with a few minions as well within the group who are low on empathy. The reason I say this is because I cannot imagine how else…..I know about group think, yet this is just disgusting. Too disgusting. My instinct is to start interviewing the students to find out who started this–or at least who kept it going as a “tradition.” Also, this happened on a bus? Was the bus moving? Who was driving? Where were the “adults?” So many questions.
Also, this is a moment when I want to point out that FREAKS are useful in society. I have speculated this for awhile, but being a “freak” with my asocial Aspie-ism, I’ve found that group think doesn’t effect me very well. I think it’s because I am so used to going outside the mainstream in many activities, so I tend to stay on the fringe when others start getting into group think mentality. I wonder if this is the case with many whistleblowers or people who WOULD stand up and say something, or at the very least, option not to participate in this.
What can be done? This was a hard story to read, but thanks for covering it. I just think there must be a sociopath somewhere….maybe not.
Abuse is abuse. I agree. And friends don’t hurt each other. Period.