By | December 23, 2011 10 Comments

Millions of elderly suffer financial abuse every year

Researchers conducted a phone survey of 4,000 people over age 60. Even though none of these people suffered dementia or other mental decline, 4.2 percent said they had been the victim of financial fraud or exploitation during the preceding year. On a national scale, that translates to millions of victims.

Read Financial abuse of the elderly is approaching a crisis, researcher says, on

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Ox Drover

Donna, this is a terrible problem among the elderly who are in the EARLY stages of dementia or diminished judgmental thinking. Years ago I worked in a program for the Area Agency on Aging, which is an program which supplies aids to patients who are elderly and/or disabled so that they can stay in their homes rather than go to a nursing home.

I often observed abuse of these patients by their families, though the patients were quite poor (in order to qualify for the program) but “worthless” mooching relatives frequently moved in on them and my experience with the “adult protective services” department was that if the APS worker did not personally observe the family member setting fire to the bed with the patient in it, they would do nothing! My frustration was through the roof!

My elderly neighbor who is 83, and not “legally” certifiable but his judgment is gone, has picked up a “crack ho” in a parking lot and she shows up every first of the month until his money is gone to the last cent. He has started to do things he would never have done before, including stealing from his daughter and other things, but there is nothing that can be done. It is NOT “illegal” to “self neglect” or to not buy your medication because you give your money to someone for booze and drugs….and it is not illegal to be a fool and believe someone’s tale of woe.

If it were illegal, I think we’d all be in the caboose for “illegal activity” because we let our judgment be over thrown by a psychopath, which is what many of these elderly abuse victims have happen to them.

I read a study the other day, I probably mentioned it here, that one of the FIRST signs of dementia is the inability to tell an obvious lie, or sarcastic remarks from ordinary speech. I think that is partly why the elderly are so vulnerable to the “con artists” that sell them things over the telephone, or get their bank information or credit history or social security number with some cock and bull story.

I watch little television but I see the “pity the children” ads and the “pity the poor animals” ads wanting you to send in your monthly donation to the various charities that have CEOs flying around in their private jets, and very little of the money actually gets to the “purpose” of the charity. The television preachers who live in multimillion dollar estates, the CEOs of the “non profits” that suck billions of dollars in gifts from the little blue haired ladies living on social security are all, as far as I am concerned, just as psychopathic as my son, Patrick, taking from those that have not to line their own pockets.

Thanks for a heart breaking but very eye opening article, Donna. Psychopaths target whole groups of people. Just as Doug’s father was scammed out of $1.2 million dollars, and law enforcement, except for the ONE postal inspector, didn’t give a flip!



Yes, my mother who is 86 has been scammed in the past (think, Nigerian scammers and whamo), having lost a large chunk of money. Currently, she has an older gentleman (a coin dealer who lives in another state) who was calling her daily (for years), having her buy coins. She considers him her friend. My siblings and I don’t trust him. Since she lives with a sibling, he changed their phone number (twice) as a way to prevent our mother from having contact with this man. Our mother sends political contributions galore to various political organizations (many of them scammers in my opinion). Her thinking obviously has deteriorated over the years. Our goal is for our mother to keep her money for herself, but she can get sucked into giving her money away to various outfits. Right now, my family’s plan is to look for an assisted living facility for her, placing her in one, believing that it could be a good fit for her at this time of her life.

Ox Drover

Here’s a link to another fraud/con that a whole town fell for…. UNbelievable!

If this wasn’t so sad, it would be a belly laugh! Sigh!


How timely this article is. In NY this past week the judge forced the attorney and accountant who were the so-called “advisors” to Hugette Clark, the woman who was worth about 500 million who died in NYC this past summer at 104, to resign from administering her estate. Putting aside the fact that they could have clipped the estate for about 8 million each for “executing” her last will and testament (not her), there are a lot of questions –starting with the fact that gift taxes were never paid on so called “gifts” they approved. With back taxes, interest, and penalties we’re talking at least 86 MILLION dollars. To add a little interest to the mix, these so-called advisers cleaned out a previous client, getting him to leave him 3 apartments in NYC. There are also several other instances of “questionable” estate administration at their hands. All the people involved were wealthy and educated. Yet, they still managed to get “culled from the herd” of their regular advisors and isolated from their family members and the pilfering began.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting here running through some of the financial records of my parents which I’ve managed to uncover. My conman brother has managed to take them for almost 500 grand in the last 6 months. On top of the 5 million he’s managed to grab so far. He’s got them so conned that my mother is talking about mortgaging their house so they can give him money to protect his children from his ex. The best thing that could happen to his kids in my opinion is if the ex got them. Meanwhile, to protect my parents from themselves, I’ve told them that if I hear one more word about mortgaging their home to help that piece of crap, I will personally go into court and get them declared incompetent to protect them from themselves. Nice way to spend Christmas, huh?


Merry Christmas Matt!
Isn’t family just peachy?

Your brother sounds like a spath so watch your back. These parasites don’t like it when their supply gets cut off and they will do anything and everything to get it back.

Slander is the first stage, but it could lead to poison and accidents too.

My own family has a predilection for putting people in jail. Their spathyness tends towards the use of power and authority. These people have no limits.

Ox Drover

Dear Matt,

Sorry that you are having the Christmas from hell….but that’s the way it goes when we have psychopaths in our families. At least the rest of your life is going well (unless something has changed you haven’t mentioned).

At least you have enough education in a field in which you can wield some power over this con-man brother to protect your parents.

Yea, you don’t have to be dumb or uneducated or even senile in order to be conned…we all have been conned and most of us are not uneducated or senile! LOL

Yea, I read about those con men that the judge threw off that estate.

One of my favorite movies is “Take All of Me” about the con woman trying to take Lily Tomlin’s estate! LOL The thing is most of the real cons are NOT funny though,, but heart breaking! My poor elderly neighbor on a total income of about $700 a month is being ripped off by a “crack ho” and literally left without food and water at times. Sigh! Sometimes I wish I had gone to law school instead of the career path I did take. Oh, well, not going back to school at this point!

Merry Christmas,, Matt! Glad you stopped by!


Matt, My Christmas season is being spent trying to get an assessment of my mother’s ‘care’ at my father’s hands. It’s been weeks and still it hasn’t happened. She has been in the hospital 3 times in the last 2 months. She has dementia, and her hospital stays seem connected to neglect (severe dehydration, UTIs, etc.).

She has a new live-in caregiver, and her health has gone downhill dramatically. The n father doesn’t notice. I have no way to describe how this affects me. The residual anger when having to deal with it is poisonous.

I went to the hospital to see her last night and as i was walking to her room, i noticed that he was there, and I turn and walked in the other direction. I stood and thought about what to do. I really wanted to see my mom, but it is really not okay for me to be in his presence (he has also stolen a whack of money from me, and when I can, I will sue). I was absolutely not okay for about half an hour afterwards – really not okay….and all I saw were his hands folded in his lap….

I will try again with the damn social workers on Tuesday.

I went to visit mom today and gave her her Christmas gifts. We had a lovely lovely time. I know what ‘heart-breaking’ means now. Every time I see her, i have to debrief with myself and process the complex emotions that come up. But seeing him puts me into a state I have no words for..except: poisoned.

I am sorry your parents are being conned and that your brother is such a nasty f***. I honor your anger and your actions to protect your parents.


Sky ‘Their spathyness tends towards the use of power and authority. ‘
sounds like my n sire.


Isn’t it ironic that they all poison us? literally or figuratively, the slime gets us. They are all so alike, it’s amazing.

At least you got to spend some quality time with your mom. Even if you had to debrief afterwards, I think you will treasure these memories in the future.


it’s funny how finding the words that definitively describe them for each of us can make all the difference. ‘Poisoned’ is the word for my n sire. so, now i know how to go about caring for myself and healing from his shit. I need to treat myself for poisoning – physically, spiritually and psychologically.

this feels liberating in the way that figuring out the best fantasy way to kill the spath did.

one joy rolling into 2012 with ammo!

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