By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
When I read the news sometimes I just want to cry. It seems the news is filled with hate, prejudice, evil and just plain mean stuff!
The following article about a young man who was “hazed” to death in a college band and beaten so badly that his muscles were destroyed, made me just have to stop and “take a breath” before I could continue to read such a sad story.
Expert: Autopsy of Florida A&M drum major shows badly beaten muscles
An entire group of college age young adults who would inflict such punishment on a fellow band member, a person they probably called a “friend,” is beyond belief to me. This was not some group of inner city dropped out kids on drugs who were gang members; these young people were the “flower” of our society, receiving an education at college level.
I sincerely doubt that any of these young people who pummeled their friend hard enough to destroy his muscles intended for him to die, or be so severely injured that he would be crippled, yet that is exactly what they did. They killed him. The entire group on the bus participated in manslaughter.
In light of the Penn State scandal of child abuse that was “openly rumored” around campus, this school also had “open rumors” about hazing in the band that was no “big secret.” Apparently it was not seriously addressed by the band director or the administration of the school. I can only imagine what the family of this young man feels after his death, knowing that he wanted to be accepted badly enough that he was willing to participate in such a “ritual.”
I sincerely doubt that many, if any, of the young people who participated in such a ritual were what we would likely label as “psychopathic.” But for whatever reason that can be ascribed to the behavior that led to this young man’s mutilation and torture (I can’t find other words that fit), they behaved in a way that is totally unacceptable in a civilized society.
In order to stop this kind of behavior it is going to take not only the administrations of schools, coaches, and directors of programs, but it is going to take students who will stand up and say, “I will not be a part of this kind of behavior. I will not participate.”
I think about the times that I have participated in things that were painful to me, just like this young man did, because I wanted to be accepted by the people who were pummeling me with their words or their fists. I was afraid to stand up and say, “I don’t deserve to be treated like this,” or say, “People who treat me like this are NOT my friends, because friends do not hurt each other.” I felt shamed when those I loved treated me poorly, lied to me, physically or emotionally hurt me, but I’ve decided to stand up now, to face those who try to tell me that I must be abused in order to be accepted. To face those who would abuse me, and say a resounding “NO!!!! I will not be abused.”
Let us all stand up for those who are not yet strong enough to stand up and shout “NO!” and to speak out for them that abuse is NOT OKAY!
Thank you, Marie. I appreciate it. 🙂
(((Ana)))) my thoughts are with you!
Marie, (sigh) I wish he would just go away and I imagine you do too. Well, maybe he will keep on with the meth until he croaks himself! Don’t trust the judicial and court system will use REASON or LOGIC, but keep on with the evidence, put it in a safe place to (a bank security box or some other place like that) so that nothing that happens will destroy it. Keep copies as well. DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!!!
That is the advice our ErinBrock would give you….she’s a fighter and that’s what you’re going to have to be, a fighter.
As far as the mothers of psychopaths, sometimes they are also psychopaths! It is hard to be “disappointed” in your kid, whether they are psychopaths or just jerks…I have one of each! But I realize too that we do the best we can with our kids and the rest is up to them. So love that baby and give her the best upbringing you can and then the rest is up to her! That took me a long time to figure out, but I think I finally got it!
Hopefully he will move on to more interesting things. Right now he is probably focused on just hurting you (via your daughter) but hopefully that will become boring to him…whatever you do, don’t let him “see you bleed.” Keep a “stiff upper lip” and appear to be calm, cool and collected. Even if you are melting down do it where he can’t see you do it. The more emotional response that he gets the better he will enjoy it! That’s hard to do sometimes but you are going to have to be an expert at it.
That also took me a long time to get! But just come here and VENT your heart out! This is a great place for doing that! ((hugs)))
Oxy,
Thank you for your thoughts. 🙂 It helps me get through.
Oh, Oxy,
I cannot complain, I had a spath free and drama free Christmas. No drama, I loved it. It’s nice. 🙂
Oxy
Not that I wanna trade places, but when all you have are WTF moments, it’s hard to convince people (attorneys, cops, bankers, etc.) that we’re NOT the crazy ones. I remember being “paranoid”. It’s what SAVED my LIFE when they decided to murder me. Kinda like the woman your son murdered didn’t realize who he really was, she might thought he was ‘off’, but when the mask comes off, many times it’s too late.
I thought my husband a jerk and NOT spath until I realized not only did he have no problem murdering animals to “teach them not to make him mad”, but that he saw me the SAME, I was NOT to make him mad. That chilling epiphany snapped me right out of my white picket fence delusion.
I see another family murdered by Santa Claus, it was her estranged husband killing her, two kids, and other wife’s family members. Freeky b/c I think the husband murderer stole that scenario FROM A TV SHOW…. talking about living a ScRIPT. I bet she thought he was just a jerk too, until he murdered her and her children.
Yea, Katy, I saw that news report, I used to live not too far from Grapevine…and have been through there many times. At least the psychopath killed himself as well…and who knows, maybe he was mentally ill and not a psychopath, or mentally ill AND a psychopath (being one doesn’t mean you cant be both!) but, yea, that woman didn’t realize what was going on until the guns came out and she was in the process of dying. The young woman my son killed didn’t realize either….she had NO idea what she was dealing with.
That mother of the little 9 year old that left her child in the care of an ex-convict (there really is in my opinion NO such thing as an ex-convict) and he killed the child and cut her up Christmas day (he finally confessed!) WTF…and the grandmother of the girl is in such denial (even after they found body parts, including the child’s head in the guy’s freezer) that she was defending the perp! WTF? I am sure the GM was in absolute denial!
People just don’t think “s/he could do that!” but they CAN and I realized that even if no one believed me, I HAD TO BELIEVE ME and take care of ME! Even if I was the ONLY one in the world that believed what I knew, it was OK, because I really didn’t have to have outside validation. I could validate myself.
Sure, my story, yours, Skyla’s, and everyone here including Donna and Dr. Liane Leedom have a “tale out of the TWILIGHT ZONE” but that doesn’t mean they are any less true. Or any the less factual. It is nice to come here and be validated, but we don’t have to have it, we can validate ourselves. That was a lesson a long time coming for me, but it was an important lesson.
Oxy
The news report I read of the murder of the 9 yr old states that the trailer park is full of pedophiles and registered sex offenders, of which Grandpa (the murderer was taking care of Grandpa until Grandpa died.), was ONE of those pedophiles. Yep, that’s right. The murderer’s client was a pedophile. NOw what parent has their child babysat by someone like that? Single 39yr old MAN? Grandma in denial? snort…Whole family with “that” mindset. That some kids survive their upbringing amazes me. This one didn’t. Poor wee dear.
Katy, there’s be convicting reports but the report I just read said he had an assault and one other charge charge but was NOT a registered sex offender. Sheesh! He was an ex convict—yea my egg donor had one of those “taking care of her too”
The whole situation was / is awful. I think we need an island when they serve there sentences they can go live there, no matter what the sentence is.
Well, I gotta go to bed! See you guys later. I have duties, I am running a hospice for two pigs….they get to eat until they become hogs….then II get to eat! So I have to get up to feed them in the morning! Can’t lay in like the retired nurse any more have to get up at daylight with the rest of the farmers. LOL
LPMarie,
Good on you! Towanda!
Oh my that sounds horrible, about the guy cutting up the 9yr old and keeping her in a freezer… makes me want to vomit, just thinking about it.
CHristmass seem to be those days when creeps come out of the woodwork. Here there was a guy who told his friend in the pub he wanted to show him something ‘shocking’. He took the friend home and showed him the murdered body of his German girlfriend. Then he took his friend out for a bit to eat and a drink. The friend alerted the police about the murder as soon as they split their ways.
The landlady of the pub described him as a silent, good client, who hadn’t been around much lately (supposedly because of being with the girlfriend)… but that he had been in the pub for hours and hours that day and seemingly never left. Her story does not fit the fact that he left the pub at least to show the body of the girlfriend he murdered. So, she’s lying (and the papers made a note of it to mention her timing story didn’t fit the facts). Can only be 2 reasons… she’s covering for him, and somehow emotionally involved… OR she wasn’t even there and doing her job properly and doesn’t want people to know, and so talking carp to cover she was not where she was expected to be.
Anyway, I know some people reacted: WTF? He went to have a bite to eat with this murderer first? And my response was… “What would you do? If someone you think is a friend and a good person takes you to his home to show the murder he committed and brag about it. You’d feel like you stepped into some horror movie. He probably played along with the murderer to go have a bit to eat for his own safety. He alerted the police as soon as he was out of harms way.”
When this 9 year old was still “missing”, before her body parts had been found, it was reported that she was hearing and sight impaired, had ADHD AND PTSD. PTSD ???? Apparently this child had already suffered some sort of trauma and/or abuse. No shock there.
This “mother”, for lack of a better term, did not have the flu (for a week) including Christmas Eve, she needed her party time.
This just makes me sick.
When asked if the younger girls had been checked by a doctor to see if they had been molested the Sheriff said, not yet. They were “safe” with family members.