In the wake of Weinergate, CNN posted an article entitled, Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim. Abedin, of course, is Anthony Weiner’s wife, who I’m sure was, at the very least, embarrassed by the scandal, and perhaps angry enough to consider divorce.
The article quotes a couple of authors telling women to choose not to be victims. Instead, women should choose to define their own happiness. Oh, there are a couple of caveats—the advice doesn’t apply to women who fear for their safety or are facing financial ruin. But there is no discussion of what to do when your relationship is so emotinally abusive that you are psychologically traumatized.
In short, this story offers advice for women coping with infidelity whose partners are not sociopaths. Which is fine—these women need advice as much as anyone. But the article also reinforces society’s “just get over it” attitude, which makes life difficult for women dealing with true exploitation.
Read Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim on CNN.com.
Good morning-waiting for the phone call to tell me whether or not my job offer is being rescinded. Didn’t sleep at all last night and I got busted for smoking on the front steps by my friend who is the police commander. She said that if she drives by and sees me doing it again she is going to get out the car, slap handcuffs on me in the middle of the street in front of GOD and everybody.
Oh no, EB: don’t want to see your face on a crime show for your having just smoked on your front steps! Oh my goodness, you are just being quite the criminal; aren’t you?
Best of wishes and good luck to you Dear EB: I will be saying prayers for your job to come through for you today. xxoo
Hmm…wonder if I could get free room and board, by coming there and smoking on the steps. hehehehe
*HUGS*
Duped
PS Have a good day everyone…give it all you got!
I am outta here…time to get some work done.
Lizzy,
I have been looking for (and finally found) a quote from an article on LF (a link to a CNN article about Weiner’s wife) here is the quote.*******
” Many people create a storyline or myth for their lives that says they will be powerful when they are pretty or handsome, skinny, married, a parent, or have the “right” job or salary.
“If you’re only powerful when it goes a certain way, then what happens when you lose your job?” asks Munson. Do you not matter anymore? Figure out the myths you tell yourself about your definition of success before you can move on.”*******
If you get the job, fine, if not, fine, but BE happy no matter what is going on….be happy if you are gay or straight, if the neighbor woman is a friend or not….Don’t let your happiness depend on something other happening or someone else being a certain way.
As for the smoking…if you are not going to quit, then don’t quit. Your smoking depends on WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND MAKE UP YOUR MIND TO DO. Don’t get to playing “I’ll sneak a cigarette if my friends don’t find out it is okay”
NO! It doesn’t matter if your friends know or not, it is all about YOU SMOKING OR NOT, you are an adult, if you want to smoke, then do it, if you want to quit then do it.
As Yoda says “No Try, just DO!” So either quit “trying” or “do it”
From a now Ex smoker, who used to play head games with myself about quitting instead of doing it. Been there sugar.
Oxy-thanks. Right now I am just stuck waiting. The situation with the former employer is currently being reviewed in a committee. My recruiter had me speak to the clinical specialist this morning, who is a PACU nurse. She had my synopsis of the alleged incident and the judge’s decision that supports it.
Serious consideration is now being given to finding attorneys to sue the hospital. My name needs to be cleared and it is preventing me from having a livelihood. My neighbor is speaking to two attorneys today if she can get ahold of them and my mentor’s partner, who is an attorney in MO is also trying to see if she can compile a list that I can work with.
As far as the smoking, I don’t want to be doing it-it stinks and it’s gross. I had planned on putting them down once I got a job because all they will do is keep me from ever becoming a police officer. My lungs won’t be able to tolerate chasing people and being in full uniform and body armor in the summer in this miserable heat. My neighbor had been bugging the shit out of me over it but she backed off because she knows how upset I’ve been the last two days.
I just want my life back. I want to be able to support myself and not worry about not paying my bills or my rapidly declining credit score and having to spend 24/7 worrying about money. I want my gym membership back, which will help me stay off the cigarettes, in addition to me losing weight and getting in shape. Part of my problem is being so unbelievably mind numbing ly bored when I am not filling out job applications, and I am so tired of filling out job applications. I was also SO embarrassed when the police commander drove by my house this morning and caught me smoking. She pulled over and talked to me for awhile and did threaten to put me in handcuffs if she caught me again.
Lizzy darling, you still don’t understand what I am saying….you do NOT have to have a gym membership to lose weight….I ihave NO gym membership…..when you get ready to lose weight you will do it, without any excuses.
When you get ready to stop smoking you will do it, without any excuses.
When you get ready to be HAPPY you will do it, without any excuses.
I’m trying to say that “being a police officer” may NEVER HAPPEN, so are you going to be miserable the rest of your life? Finding a compatible lover may never happen, so are you going to be miserable the rest of your life?
You are basing your weight loss, your stopping smoking and your happiness on X, Y and Z happening….so if none of these things happen, are you going to be miserable forever? I HOPE NOT.
Many of us have based our HAPPINESS on “John choosing me over Susie” or “my son coming home from prison and leading a good life” or X, Y or Z, but our happiiness can’t be based on SOMEONE ELSE, or SOMETHING else. It has to come from WITHIN is what I am trying to say.
Your police friend can’t be why you quit smoking any more than my “threats” to “boink” you can be the motivation….it has to come from WITHIN OURSELVES. I “said” I was going to quit smoking a bunch of times, but I didn’t, I kept sneaking cigarettes like a kid sneaking a piece of candy without mama finding out….I was playing games with my own head. But when I did DECIDE to quit, I DID quit. I did it, I did NOT “try”—so either DO it or quit “trying.” You are an adult, if you want to smoke you can do it, it isn’t illegal.
And I know there is “no fanatic like a convert” and I’m a fanatic for myself about NOT smoking…and there are times I still want one, but I will NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO MAKE EXCUSES for it, and I do not do it. TAKE CONTROL of your own destiny, darling, you CAN DO IT! It is just like NC…only it is NC with cigarettes or Semi-NC with FOOD and in my case, SALT…when you decide it is REALLY IMPORTANT TO YOU, then you can do the NC–whether it is NC with the psychopath or NC with the cigarettes or anything else that is NOT GOOD FOR YOU. YOU CAN DO IT. (((hugs)))
Oxy-being a police officer IS going to happen and she and I talked about it this morning. I am not going to entertain anything to the contrary. This has been my dream for my entire life. I’m out for today.
Lizzy, if you want it to happen, and are willing to do what it takes to MAKE it happen it will happen. That was my point, but just wishing won’t make it happen…just like my weight loss has been something I MADE HAPPEN, and the stopping smoking I MADE HAPPEN, and you can MAKE IT HAPPEN TOO….but in the meantime, BE HAPPY ANYWAY….!!!!
when my ship comes in I will…..
I GOT THE JOB-it’s official!!!
OK lets party ~!!! whoopie ~! yay ~! pass the booze ~! so happy for ya Lizzy…..gonna doa little jig fer ya…did ya see that? way to go…..