In the wake of Weinergate, CNN posted an article entitled, Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim. Abedin, of course, is Anthony Weiner’s wife, who I’m sure was, at the very least, embarrassed by the scandal, and perhaps angry enough to consider divorce.
The article quotes a couple of authors telling women to choose not to be victims. Instead, women should choose to define their own happiness. Oh, there are a couple of caveats—the advice doesn’t apply to women who fear for their safety or are facing financial ruin. But there is no discussion of what to do when your relationship is so emotinally abusive that you are psychologically traumatized.
In short, this story offers advice for women coping with infidelity whose partners are not sociopaths. Which is fine—these women need advice as much as anyone. But the article also reinforces society’s “just get over it” attitude, which makes life difficult for women dealing with true exploitation.
Read Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim on CNN.com.
MoonDancer
HI Superlicious….hows it going with you?
ElizabethBennett
Sky-I am so sorry about what happened to you with your spath-I never knew that. (((((SKY))))).
Star-you don’t have to be envious of that because I am not really excited about the job, but excited to be employed again. It will pay the same as my prior job plus they pay all my rent and utilities so I can keep my own place here. After the assignment is over I will come home for 2-3 weeks and then go work elsewhere. The only hard part will be missing the woman. I spent the evening with her and we had a great time. I think it was the best time I’ve had with her yet. She had a hard day so I totally changed her mood by telling her about the job and she was really excited. I went over there and she made sandwiches and we drank wine and talked and laughed. No, I didn’t come out to her and I’m not worried about doing it now. Now since I’m leaving I’m just going to focus on me and bettering myself and then see what happens when I come home. She is getting my mail and will send it to me once a week or just keep it til I get home. We talked about what to do about the situation with my dad. It was a really great evening and I feel good. I got a nice big hug and she does that very well-the hugging.
Tomorrow I will get all the job info in writing and finalize everything and I am going to my counselor too. I have to work in the backyard and get it to look right before I leave and I have to start making the list about what I need to bring with me. I am really nervous about all of this. I feel like there is a lot of pressure for me to do well. I also need to study up this weekend on all my ICU stuff. I was so lucky to get this job and I need to make sure that I am more professional than I’ve ever been in my life to make a good impression with the hospital. The company wants a good reference on me when I’m done. WOW-so much to think about-SCARY!!
Ox Drover
Dear Lizzy,
You will do fine! I am sure of it! Congratulations, this is what you have been needing and it will be a whole new environment as well and that is a good thing too! Will get you out of your financial hole and get you some good references. Couldn’t ask for better! Play your cards close to your chest!
super chic
Hi hens. I am hanging in there! I don’t like my job, but grateful I have one… maybe the opportunity to transfer in 4 mos.
Wish I was there with you having a little celebration for Lizzy, we could invite her too! hahahaha 🙂
I am going to win the lottery! I buy tickets!! It’s gonna happen!!!!! We’ll celebrate some more!
ElizabethBennett
Oxy-I will definitely play my cards very close to my chest and be very professional. The lady had a talk with me tonight about setting the bar really high. I am definitely going to take to heart what she said because that’s how I won my unemployment appeal. I am going to be more professional than I’ve ever been in my life. It is really important for me to get some really fantastic references out of this experience and to never allow myself back into the same situation that I was in before.
I can’t believe how it feels to not have that stress anymore of worrying about it. I actually broke out in hives this evening all over my arms and hands. Maybe it was the stress leaving out of me. I was itching so bad I couldn’t stand it.
ElizabethBennett
Hi superchic!
super chic
Hi Elizabeth!! I’ve been trying to keep up on what’s been happening with you!
I agree with your idea of keeping the bar high, I also do not talk about myself at work,
this is a fairly new job for me, I don’t tell my co-workers much about my private life at all! Not that they’re interested!
I am very happy you got this job and that you’ll be getting more and more great references!
skylar
Hey Chic! I think you’re gonna win the lotto too. I’m not sure why, I just think you are. I feel good vibes. 🙂
Hens,
my bf is so cool in so many ways. The term “the 180 rule” is his. He came up with that to describe what spaths do. He studies the spaths in government, finance, and the world stage. He doesn’t really study the personal relationshits, but the same rules apply. You can watch it go down EXACTLY like your relationshit went down, only it’s happening with the lies and deception about the economy, mortgage fraud, “other money”, bailouts, and the rest of the BS. That’s why it isn’t surprising when a politician is uncovered as a spath. They’ve shown it in their behavior.
I’ve never had a normal relationship. So I don’t really know how that would be. So when I realized that I was supply and that this is my tendency, to rescue/help/bend over backwards, etc… I thought next time, I’m getting paid.
So when I met my BF, I told him, “I’m perfect N-supply” and he asked me if I wanted a job. LOL. So he pays me to work for him.
But last night, I told him he was the cutest, most adorable narcissist EVER. He wasn’t sure he liked that. I just like to mess with his head though. He know that too. The thing is, my brain never stops looking for red flags and observing for PD’s. I can’t help it because the shock of losing 25 years to a spath has left me pretty shattered. I’m lucky BF understands and puts up with my PTSD.
ElizabethBennett
Thanks Chic. I had a nice little nite of celebration and now I am content and smiling. The last two nights I was too stressed to go to sleep and now I still can’t sleep. What a perfect evening.
ElizabethBennett
Today we get the job finalized on paper! YAY! Now I have to start getting ready. Lots of stuff to do before I go. I sure wish I would start sleeping again soon-it will be nice.