In the wake of Weinergate, CNN posted an article entitled, Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim. Abedin, of course, is Anthony Weiner’s wife, who I’m sure was, at the very least, embarrassed by the scandal, and perhaps angry enough to consider divorce.
The article quotes a couple of authors telling women to choose not to be victims. Instead, women should choose to define their own happiness. Oh, there are a couple of caveats—the advice doesn’t apply to women who fear for their safety or are facing financial ruin. But there is no discussion of what to do when your relationship is so emotinally abusive that you are psychologically traumatized.
In short, this story offers advice for women coping with infidelity whose partners are not sociopaths. Which is fine—these women need advice as much as anyone. But the article also reinforces society’s “just get over it” attitude, which makes life difficult for women dealing with true exploitation.
Read Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim on CNN.com.
ElizabethBennett
Louise-I hope you don’t let it bother you too much. That is actually what I just did with my stepmom and my brother. I didn’t unfriend them but I blocked them from seeing all my posts. That way they can’t either tell or show my dad things. He is also already sending me his cute little friendly emails that he always sends and completely ignores the fact that he hurt me so bad.
I really hope you don’t let this upset you though because really, do you want to see his wall that much. I only want to see the walls of people who are true friends who I know actually care about me.
Louise
Lizzy:
No, I understand and no, it won’t bother me that much. Like I said, I haven’t even seen or talked to this guy in almost a year. And I don’t care what he is saying on his wall anyway. I guess it’s just because I don’t understand his motivation and I suspect it has something to do with “her.” It’s just the principal I guess; just irks me. I really just don’t see why he didn’t unfriend me. I don’t know why I haven’t unfriended him either to tell you the truth. So I wonder if I will still see his posts? Unless he blocked me from that, too!!
Louise
Star:
I know…you know what? I used to hate Facebook. I didn’t even have an account for a long time. And then I got an account, but didn’t do anything with it for years. But then I became unemployed and had way too much time on my hands and voila…that’s when I got into it. So you know what? I am seriously thinking about deactivating my account for good. It is just a time sucker anyway.
Woo hoo! How exciting about the Albuqueque guy!!
ElizabethBennett
Star-good to see you. I am on FB a lot to keep in touch with friends where I used to live and from high school. My ex isn’t on there though-he wouldn’t stoop SO low. That’s cool about the guy, but which one is this-I’m confused.
Louise-glad you’re ok with it. You may not see his posts if he did what I did.
ElizabethBennett
Star-I threw out my shoulder, neck , and upper back sneezing-I need a massage and a chiropractor.
Ox Drover
Louise, you are “upset” over “nothing” because if you keep “tabs” on him it is BACK DOOR CONTACT and as long as you have “contact” of ANY kind there will be new upsets and new injuries. Just quit looking at anything to do with him, ANY THING AT ALL! Act like he fell off the face of the earth. Un-friend, de-friend, block him and anyone else that he is friends with….FB is not “real life friends” in any case it is just a computer GAME.
ElizabethBennett
I disagree about FB being fake and just a game. I talk to my actual real friends from where I grew up and used to work everyday. They are actually as many support systems there as I have here-except I actually know the people on there and all their real names and about their lives, as they know mine. My friends are wanting to know about my interviews and whats happening and I get to know what’s going on with them too. I was able to support my friend through her husband’s second lung transplant on FB. I get to see pictures of their new babies. I also got my new volunteer opportunity there. I am going to be working in the homicide division of my police department until I can actually go back and be a cop. The detective put out a notice on FB asking for volunteers. I emailed him and he called me back. I get a lot out of facebook.
Louise
Oxy:
No, no…this was NOT the X spath. He’s not even on Facebook. This is just a platonic mutual friend who sat right by my cube at work with me. He is still friends with the OW in triangulation, but of course I left and haven’t talked to him in almost a year. He is a nice guy and I guess that is why he doesn’t want to “unfriend” me. Sorry for the confusion. Sorry I wasn’t clear about it. But it is NOT the X spath 🙂
Louise
So I hope everyone is clear that this was NOT the X spath. I have had no contact with the X spath for going on four months now…yay for me even though it hurts! I said in the original post that it was a male friend of the OW in triangulation with me. I would have said the X spath if that’s who it was. But the x spath isn’t even on Facebook and I am considering to not be either. There are many other ways to communicate; I don’t need it.
Stargazer
Not to hijack but…..okay, I’ll hijack lol….FB is waaay to public for me. Not to mention it’s a full-time job with 500 friend requests coming in in a week (this really happened). I really don’t want to see my co-workers during my down time or have my reptile friends co-mingling with my real life friends. It’s all too incestuous for me. I really see absolutely no reason for it. If I want to talk to someone, I pick up a phone and call (crazy, I know!) or shoot them an email. But I have to admit, I’m a regular member on a well-known reptile site, and I goof around there a lot. But the members there don’t know anything about the rest of my life unless I make it a point to tell them.
Liz, my massage table is set up already because I just did one. Come on over.