In the wake of Weinergate, CNN posted an article entitled, Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim. Abedin, of course, is Anthony Weiner’s wife, who I’m sure was, at the very least, embarrassed by the scandal, and perhaps angry enough to consider divorce.
The article quotes a couple of authors telling women to choose not to be victims. Instead, women should choose to define their own happiness. Oh, there are a couple of caveats—the advice doesn’t apply to women who fear for their safety or are facing financial ruin. But there is no discussion of what to do when your relationship is so emotinally abusive that you are psychologically traumatized.
In short, this story offers advice for women coping with infidelity whose partners are not sociopaths. Which is fine—these women need advice as much as anyone. But the article also reinforces society’s “just get over it” attitude, which makes life difficult for women dealing with true exploitation.
Read Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim on CNN.com.
My Dear EB: What can I say except I never had a single doubt that you would be stepping into your “star”….you are on the road, Lady and I am so proud of you. You have my love, support and very best of wishes on your new adventure. When one door closes, the next opens. Sometimes those doors have to close so that we can fulfill our true potential in this life.
It isn’t really saying ‘good bye’; it’s saying: ‘hello’. 🙂
xxoo
Congratulations EB…my thoughts and prayers are always with you….Break a leg, Girlfriend!!!!
Dupedster
one/joy_step_at_a_time says:
miss elizabeth bennet ”“ you can’t control how this turns out, and it’s so obvious that you would like to. you can’t.
just tell her or don’t tell her ”“ just get it done. don’t write a letter, don’t send an email, just knock on her door, and tell her whatever it is you need to.
the drama is damn near killing me.
——————————————-
🙂
Lizzy,
It didn’t turn out the way you wanted. But maybe with a little time/distance on your trip you will see it turned out the way you NEEDED it. A healthy caring friend is way more valuable than a volitile love affair. At least now you know she is hot/cold depending on what she has to offer at the moment. Her job affects her, it’s NOT mfn YOU. I’m straight too but my gay friends are my dearest. They seem to be so much more in touch with who they are INSIDE.
Hugs and congrats that what you found out was that YOU do have a great friend who did NOT desert you, she ACCEPTS you.
Hey, take care of yourself and in spite of the tornado, that’s a great part of the USA. ENJOY!!! I LOVE the Ozarks. I was 9 yrs old and knew I wanted to retire there….
Best,
Katy
one/joy:
Thank you for clearing that up. So glad you can joke about your experience.
Star,
I read all the posts and can’t find the one that says you mindfk someone. I do know if you post, you can merely ignore the ones you don’t like. I think people here are watching for your best interests and your posts definitely inspired response. Online dating sites are toxic ponds, fishing there and expecting to find a great guy does not make sense. (if it was no big deal, why write an upsetting post on LF?) People gave you GREAT advice. B/c advice did not validate your behavior does not make the advice NEG. We wanted better for ya. That’s not neg either. According to your words, you keep doing the same. So (famous quote) how’s that working for ya? Is your behavior getting you what you want? YOU stated it was not.
(((Lizzy)))
II’m so glad that you got it out. you can move forward now.
I’m feeling very very sad this morning. Last night it felt good to get the weight off and now the hurt comes in. She was normal this morning before she left for work-reminding me to check out banks in Missouri, so she appears to be ok, although it may not have really sunk in yet with her either.
Sky-to answer your question from last night-she never suspected, didn’t have a clue. She thought that I only gave her to flowers to say thank you for being such a good friend when I was down. She was completely shocked and it took her a half hour to respond to me.
The next few days are going to be really hard. I don’t know how to stop loving her. I truly believe that she’s not an N or an S. It almost feels easier to spot loving the exspath than it does her. I love her so much and this hurts really BAD.
Liz, I’m really proud of you.
Star-thanks. I am so so SAD right now. It hurts so bad. I don’t know I’m going to stop crying long enough to get all the tons of stuff done today that I need to do. I feel like I’ve lost something.
Shalom – oh girl some nights on lf we get wickedly humorous about the things that happened to us! I have always had a big sense of haha, and during the time when i couldn’t laugh at all i was at my lowest. The laughter on LF has saved me on many occasions. No one else gets this stuff. No one.
And the spath was/ is a tremendous mind fuck. oh my the thing sshe did to my head. I have a long way to go, but i am healing. The other night I was working on some things for the DA about the spath and i got curious about something and went online to check up on something rleated to her. I broke my NC – and i paid for it. there is still a big wad of slime in my chest related to the spath. But i am healing, and she is still an ugly lying piece of crap…and THAT wont’ change.
Again, thank you for your concern.