In the wake of Weinergate, CNN posted an article entitled, Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim. Abedin, of course, is Anthony Weiner’s wife, who I’m sure was, at the very least, embarrassed by the scandal, and perhaps angry enough to consider divorce.
The article quotes a couple of authors telling women to choose not to be victims. Instead, women should choose to define their own happiness. Oh, there are a couple of caveats—the advice doesn’t apply to women who fear for their safety or are facing financial ruin. But there is no discussion of what to do when your relationship is so emotinally abusive that you are psychologically traumatized.
In short, this story offers advice for women coping with infidelity whose partners are not sociopaths. Which is fine—these women need advice as much as anyone. But the article also reinforces society’s “just get over it” attitude, which makes life difficult for women dealing with true exploitation.
Read Stop calling Huma Abedin a victim on CNN.com.
Lizzy Lizzy Lizzy – Why in the world do you have to STOP loving her? Is your only focus on the sexual?
From reading your post over the last months I think this woman care’s a great deal for you, but your drama ( the gun etc. ) is going to make her back off from being a friend. Lighten up, give her enough space to be a friend and love her for being a caring friend. I have a few female friends that I love dearly, they love me and always will unless I overload them with drama.. I think alot of you Lizzy but for pete sake…does it have to be all or nothing? It’s not like your leaving forever……peace
Hens-no. That’s NOT all I focus on. I need to get over the romantic love for her and go back to loving her as a caring friend. I am not overloading her with drama. I am trying to give her space. I don’t want to overwhelm her. It’s not all or nothing but you have to expect me to feel sad that she doesn’t share the romantic feelings that I have. Those feelings will go away. You have to understand that she is my closest friend here and we depend on each other. I worry about her while I’m gone. I worry about her needing me and me not being here.
Hey Lizzy ~ I hope you’re feeling a bit better. Having a wonderful caring friend is something to be very thankful for. I know you will come to realize that given some time. And when the “right one” comes along, you will be more prepared for that relationship.
She will make do while you are away. Try to focus on what you need to do to make the most of this job opportunity. h2h
H2H-the job may be falling through-I will find out tomorrow maybe. I am so tired of all this.
I am very relieved right now about things with her. I saw her off to work this morning and she was ok. I just welcomed her home like usual and she was totally normal-like nothing ever happened. It’s hard for me that she doesn’t feel what I feel but it SO MUCH the relief that she appears to be ok with everything. I helped her carry her stuff in and we talked about how our day was and it was so just like every other evening. I’m so FREAKIN GLAD that she still wants to be my friend and that she’s not scared of me. I think it was the way that I told her. I feel like another weight is lifted but I’ve been extremely stressed about the job. One of the hospitals here at home called late this evening and left me a message that they still want to interview me. I am supposed to work tomorrow but I think I’m going to call her and see if I can schedule the interview before I’m scheduled to leave-in case it falls through.
Lizzy ~ oh for heaven’s sake!! What’s with the yo-yo stuff on the job?? It sounded as if it was a sure thing???
I’m happy for you and your neighbor’s friendship. It seems like you handled it just the right way for her to feel comfortable about the whole thing.
Glad to hear that you still have a chance to interview locally too. It never hurts to keep your options open.
H2H-I don’t know about this damn job. My file is supposed to be complete by tomorrow and it’s not close-they told me that one of my immunization titers was negative and I got the booster shot in 2009 with my tetanus so I have to figure out how to fix it. The two gals that were supposed to help me decided not to return my phone calls and emails this afternoon. So I am scheduled to work 12 hrs tomorrow and hour away from home so I won’t be finishing anything. I can’t cancel the shift unless they cancel me because I desperately need the cash. I’m drowning.
I’m still swooning over her but it will get better. Even if I end up staying here it will get better. She is my friend and now she won’t be surprised when I eventually bring a girl home-in fact, knowing her, she’ll have to meet her and talk to her to make sure she is worthy for me. She was right about being a maternal figure for me. She would have made a great mom-10 times better than what I had.
Maybe you can just get another booster? If so, maybe you can get it done during a break tomorrow.
So glad you have a good “mom” in your friend. Having that figure in your life is a good thing.
I’m just getting to know my mother’s youngest sister, who seems to be a great “mom” figure, unlike my mother. It’s a good feeling to be developing that relationship. 🙂
H2H-I can’t get the booster while I’m working cuz I have to find one of the free clinics in New Orleans to get one free or for a reduced price since I’m so poor. If I get to do that it won’t happen until Thursday. That’s why I was trying to get them to call me back today but apparently I am dealing with two girls who like to leave the office early for the day.
It is really wonderful to have a maternal figure like her and if I do leave I will tell her that later. She eventually will get a chance to talk with me about being gay. She didn’t have time last night because of work and she was really a little overwhelmed with my revelation. She does want to talk about it later and I want to tell her how much it means to me that she accepts me cuz my parents do not. They do NOT want a gay daughter and that really hurts. I want her to ask me about it so I can be open with her. Most people when you come out to them they ask questions and I want to be able to have that conversation with her.
Lizzy, will your health department give you the injection? It would seem to me if the hospital required you to have it, they would give it to you.
Lizzy Did your neighbor lady like the dozen roses?