Christine Belford was shot dead in a Delaware courthouse by her former father-in-law, Thomas Matusiewicz. David Matusiewicz, Belford’s ex-husband and father of their three children, had previously had his parental rights terminated after kidnapping the children and taking them to Nicaragua.
Documents hint at wider conspiracy in Delaware courthouse shooting, on Philly.com.
Dear IMTMR74,
Thank you. I don’t “feel like” an inspiration to anyone, especially myself…sometimes my faith wavers and I loose sight of my God. Thank you for reminding me of that…I think of the man with the demon possessed son that he asked Jesus to heal. Jesus asked the man “do you believe” and the man said “Yes, Lord, I believe….help me with my UNbelief.” So many times I must pray “help me with my unbelief.”
Even when I think I am “strong” something comes up and blows me out of the water…so I keep on reminding myself and others that our healing is a JOURNEY and not a destination.
When I “started” on the healing journey it was all about learning about THEM, now I feel like I know as much as I NEED to know about them, but am only scratching the surface of learning about ME. Learning how to be the kind of person I wish my son was.
It breaks my heart that he has given his soul to Satan and his body to the law.
I am so glad that your P sperm donor at least got LWOP…there was one time I would have “died” if that had been the case, but now I almost wish he was on death row, but I’m not sure I’ll be safe as long as he is breathing.
I read where in November some LWOP rapist in New Mexico had two buddies that got out on parole and he told them he would give them millions of dollars if they would go to NY and kill the witnesses in his triial, and THEN go kidnap and torture to death Justin Bieber and his body guards. These guys actually got to NY but somehow got on the wrong freeway and tried to cross into Canada and there was a warrant out for one of them. When the cops got them to cop out to the “plan” they got them on the phone to the guy in NM and got it recorded. Sounds like “Keystone Cops” but it is about what happened to me…my son sent some guy after us. Fortunately I found out, and fortunately these idiots got on the wrong freeway, but you know, iit sounds “crazy” and “no one would really do that” but IT DOES HAPPEN.
Just like this woman in the article did not BELIEVE he would kill her, and your mother didn’t believe he would KILL HER…but you know, I BELIEVE, I NOW BELIEVE…but like DAvid in the wilderness hiding from King Saul there have been many lessons I have learned in this “College of hard knocks” and I figure there are a few more so I will keep on trying to learn.
God bless you IMTMR74, you’ve had a difficult “row to hoe” as we say here in the boondocks.
Dear IMTMR74, just wow…:( crap, i thot i came from an F’up family. What a hellacious nightmare to have survived, but survive you did! And YES, People just don’t “get it”. The Normal mind has a hard time comprehending insanity.. in my situation, after having gone so long putting a puzzle pieces together, when I got all the pieces to fit and got the big picture, I absolutely felt like I was having a nervous breakdown! Best wishes!!!!!!
IMTMR74
My heart goes out to you. What a horrific thing to happen. I wanted to extend the hand of friendship also. Such strength to survive such loss.
Radar_On and strongawoman, thank you for your heartfelt comments. I admit I myself still have hard time wrapping my head around what happened to my family. I definitely didn’t begin my true healing journey until a few years ago. One of the worst parts of this trauma is, after being orphaned, my sister and I were supposedly “supported” by my mom’s sisters and brothers. She had a huge immediate family. Well, they traumatized us even further because most of them have personality disorders and rage issues. Yeah, I, as the oldest daughter became the target and scapegoat for all the issues they ever had with my mother. It is a long, convoluted story that I will share on Lovefraud one day. But I swear I’ve been around disordered people from the moment I was born!
And, yes, strongawoman, it does feel like you’re having a nervous breakdown when you realize your own family (and family friends) are so disturbed. I’ve been NC with those aunts and uncles for more than 2 years and I have so much more peace in my life. I can focus on this journey Ox Drover mentioned in her post.
Ox, I LOVE that bible story about the future King David running from Saul because that is EXACTLY how I felt for years!!! I had to run and hide who I really was from evil, jealous and manipulative family members who I thought loved me and wanted to see me succeed when they really wanted to destroy my life and my spirit. I meditated on those verses in 1 Samuel, especially 1 Samuel 24 because I will not choose revenge over those who tried to destroy me. I’ve wanted to! I’ve wanted to write books, go on talk shows, etc. to tell the world the TRUE story of my “matyred” aunts who really hated their murdered sister and her daughters but I leave it all to God to pass judgment in the end. (Oprah wanted to interview me years ago but I refused. I appeared on Maury back in ’96 when it was a real talk show and it was a terrible experience. The producers brought on a “hit man” to interview AFTER I asked them not to because of my PTSD. I don’t trust those shows.)
1 Samuel 24:15
“May the Lord be the One to judge between you and me. May He see and help me, and save me from you.”
Imtmnr74, I believe that everyone, regardless of their systems of beliefs, feels the urge for revenge. I appreciate your sharing Sam’s verse.
I also agree that you were betrayed by the producers and I am very hesitant to participate in “talk shows” because I don’t want MY experiences to be convoluted into ENTERTAINMENT. There is nothing entertaining about my experiences, and absolutely nothing entertaining about the circumstances that left you orphaned.
Congratulations on your NC – it’s not an easy task, especially when those people were the ones that were “supposed” to care and clearly didn’t.
Thank you for your candor and sharing in your recovery.
Brightest blessings
No, TS, it’s not easy at all to be NC because I was left with nothing but $$$ and I really needed their support, But the $$$ is all they cared about. I am still shocked how many people are willed to destroy anything and everything around them because of ENVY and love of money. And isn’t the real reason they want your money so they can get you to envy them like they envy YOU? But that’s the thing- I don’t allow myself to envy others because it’s a losing battle. I feel grateful and blessed with what God’s given to ME.
Money is essentially what destroyed my whole entire family, maternal and paternal. That’s why I have such a bad relationship with $ now. I sometimes hate it but we need it to survive. My sister hordes over her $ because she’s been conditioned to believe everyone but my Malignant N aunt who helped raise her wants her money (And guess who I suspect really wants it?).
Thanks for allowing me to share layer upon layer. I know I’m being extremely triggered because in a few weeks it will be the 20th anniversary of my mom and brother’s murders, along with his dedicated nurse. I heard they are making another movie about our story, too. This time it will be in theatres and starring Nicholas Cage. I’m still not sure what to do or feel about that.
One day at a time…
Dear IMTMR74, unfortunately those shows are “entertainment” not news or therapy…and while I would like to get my story out there I am not willing to subject myself to such carp! I did do a short interview with a documentary film about psychopaths and Aftermath radio but that is all, and here on LF I’ve been open and honest about my name and my story.
I too have felt the urge for revenge, and it is one that embitters the person who holds on to it, someone once said “it is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.” It eats at you like a cancer.
I realized that the “7 deadly sins” are sins BECAUSE they hurt us not so much others. We are told not to ENVY —why? because envy hurts us. We are told not to seek revenge? Why? Because the desire for revenge hurts US. Envy and the desire for revenge may be “natural” feelings, but they are NOT beneficial feelings for sure.
Money itself is not bad or good, though we need a minimal amount to live, but the DESIRE for money is the root of all evil…back again to ENVY.
IMTMR74, avoiding toxic people, NC if you can iis the only way we can not be triggered continually. Having to re-do the parole protest again was like CONTACT for me. I’m not much into “anniversaries” being triggers, even the anniversary of my husband’s death doesn’t trigger me any more, but even “back door” contact sure does.
IMTMR74:
My heart really goes out to you. I am not sure how I would cope if I went through all you went through. I didn’t realize your story had been on TV. Wow. Please take care of yourself. HUGS.
Imtmr, as no doubt will be true for everyone in the LF community who has read your posts, I am greatly saddened to read of your traumatic losses and the grievous harm that has been done to you and your sister. God bless your courage and resolution to stay safe and to heal. As I read with some anger of your treatment by the talk show producers I thought of a chapter of a book I recently read, The Psychopath Test, in which author Jon Ronson interviews a woman who worked in production vetting and sourcing troubled people to appear on the human interest talk show in question. She selected by asking the potential guests if they were on medication. People on prozac were considered perfect; depressed angry and upset and easy to manipulate to tears or outbursts on air. Anti-psychotics were a no-no as the producers didn’t want suicides following appearances although some guests ‘backfired’ and did attempt suicide following their broadcast exploitation. Psychotic guests
were too unpredictable to risk exploiting, depressed anxious guests were targetted as ideal for exploitation. Many disordered unethical people working on these shows no doubt. Peace and love to you in your recovery x
I was married to a sociopath and had a son with him. I was lucky to divorce him, but he is making my son into a sociopath now. We have a 50/50 settlement and my son is with me on weekends and through the summer. He is 13 now and is verbally abusive, calls me and my now-husband terrible vulgarities. He is becoming obscene with our 5 year old son and is becoming physically abusive. Meanwhile, his father calls the child protective services on us regularly and manipulates our 13 year old to lie and push us any way he can. I am afraid for my 5 year old son now and becoming afraid that all these lies will hurt me and my husband as these constant accusations of child abuse are coming forth. I am considering giving up my custody for the sake of my young son and husband. I can not fix my teenager.