Researchers at Yale University developed studies to answer the question: Do babies have a sense of right and wrong? What they came up with may surprise you.
Read The moral life of babies, on NYTimes.com. Be sure to watch the video.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.
Wini
DancingWarrior, another thing. Always make a copy of your e-mails immediately to a disc. Make a copy of it on a copier and bring it home. File it in chronological order so you have all your evidence at your finger tip.
Someone in administration has the V V V capability in your school system and it is that person who can delete anything on any computer he or she oversees. Do not expect the e-mail to be on your computer the next day. I know this for a fact too. I was a Webmaster. The WWW is the Internet … live. The V V V is to correct/update anything going on the Internet prior to being sent to the server. The V V V has access to all employees computers. Therefore, always save your work before you leave your office so you have a copy … just in case your work is no longer on your computer at work or you will find typos, missing ideas, etc. I hope you are getting my drift. Protect yourself and copy everything. Hard copy via copying something on your copying machine and copy to disk. Keep those disks with you at all times. DO NOT LEAVE THEM IN YOUR OFFICE WHEN YOU LEAVE FOR LUNCH, A MEETING, OR AT NIGHT. Beware of fire drills. All personnel is suppose to leave the building … and this is the perfect time for missing anything out of your desks, computers, purse, brief cases etc.
How do I know. I LIVED IT.
Peace.
libelle
Dear Dancing. My sister recommended to me as my boss got extremely nasty: “do as if you have no clue, do not react”. I can recommend it very strongly!
Just imagine: The children and the other coworkers won’t see a trouble-maker but a very composed nice reliable teacher whom the children love, and the ambiguous chef will be reprimanded by the facts; that you are a superteacher! (she wants you to be perceived as an emotional wreck unfit to teach because of the divorce, not because of HER! She is ambiguous NOW, and YOU WILL DELIVER THE FACTS BY INVOLVING THE TRADE UNION, LOSE YOUR TEMPER, CRYING, BECOMING A WRECK!!!!!)
It will get remarked, her belitteling comments, and will be percieved as unjustified! Everybody will know who the failure is! And unmistakenly if you do NOT react she will be in deep trouble herself sooner or later.
But do NOT expect ANYBODY to express any sympathy with you while it is happening :-(. Cowards are everywhere. And she is the boss after all. If somebody wants to help you, the wrath of her will turn towards the helper. (happened to me too years ago).
If you remember the very last scene from “High noon”, when all the cowards creep out from their hidings, and Garry Cooper just has a Thank you for the little boy who wanted to be some help and utter contempt for the rest. Well here you are.
I did not react on remarks my boss uttered in front of all my coworkers, and first I felt like a spineless mollusk. It got easier with time, though. And it is an experience I do NOT want to repeat EVER in my life again! But I had no force to react on it AND fight against my future “partner” who devastated me emotionally. When I left, I experienced the secret benevolence of the people that mattered, and “the rest is silence”.
My heart goes out to you, and I wish you all the strenght you need to put on a “happy face”.
((((((HUGS)))))
DancingWarrior
Update.
Hey guys. Had the meeting with boss today.
The unpredictable, irrational behaviors, and a history of underhandedness, really scare me about her. It was a huge challenge for me to have inner peace and control of MYSELF.
She is a LOT shorter than I am, and generally I think she feels threatened by me, but even my tallness I think exaggerates that threatening imbalance of perceived “power” in size.
So I came in friendly, smiling and pleasant as pie. And I put up my hair in a pony/bun so I look a little less tall/formal. Thankfully, she responded to the friendliness and did not stay scowling.
My approach was POSITIVE–that I wanted to add a few non-teaching contributions that I feel good about, and I showed her a sheet with a short blurb about some accomplishments.
Next I took out HER eval and scooted closer across her desk and put it facing her so we could both look at it. I thanked her for her support about “A”, said I agree about “B” and we chatted about that pedagogically sharing, and part “C” which was my issue, I said, “I assume you meant it as a general guideline?” because I think I understand what you want–you want to know where your teachers are and want to be informed about things we are doing? I was very compliant and agreed her to death and even said if I make a mistake I want to know about it, because I understand where you are coming from.
Then the KEY negative comment, I said someone reading this who doesn’t have the understanding you and I have might think of it as negative. I wonder if you would be COMOFORTABLE phrasing it as…. and she actually scooched over to see how I’d phrase it…. and I just changed one word to make it as I am already doing this, rather than not doing it. She said, sure, and wrote it in and said that’s how she meant it.
WHEW! I did not ask her to do a thing then. She went to the computer and retyped it right away, and next thing, the new eval was printed, signed, and delivered in my mailbox the next period.
She even THANKED me for coming to talk to her.
High five, friends!
libelle
Dancing:
WOW!!!! YOU DID IT!!!! TOWANDA!!!!
Wonderful!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 !!!
And the Oscar for best actress goes to the LEADING LADY (tatatataaaa):
(suspense): DANCING!!!! 😉
(((Hugs)))
super chic
Dancing, I’m impressed!!!!!
You are fabulous!!!!!
DancingWarrior
LOL 🙂 🙂 🙂
Huge sigh of relief. I tell you I was nervous.
I read How to Win Friends and Influence People, and looked at a book Difficult Conversations…not to confuse me more, but to get a general idea how to get what I want by making her feel she was getting what she wants.
Thank you for your listening and supportive ears!
ErinBrock
Warrior:
Girl…..GOOD JOB!!!
You got what you want and you didn’t even have to ‘punch’ her in the nose.
Being covert, pulling on our ‘acting’ skills, and researching how to lead a horse to water AND make him drink is the way to go!!!
Keep that smile on your face and continue to kill her with kindness…..you’ll have her under your thumb in no time! Just remember…….keep your eyes open at all times and never let your guard down on her.
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!
Works everytime!!!
Take a snapshot in your mind, of this success and build on it.
You CAN do this……..YOU DID GREAT!!!
This is the same ‘game’ you need to take into your divorce…..
You got it going on girl!!!!!
Now….go enjoy a glass of wine and congratulate yourself on you FAB review!!!!
libelle
Dear Dancing, as I stupidly had too much coffee late and cannot sleep now, I stumbled over these most remarkable sentences in our woman’s journal while surfing the net (it was the response to someone who was anxious wearing a short skirt with her robust legs – you are in a compete other league regarding fears; and you overcame it!!)
Our worst fear
Is not that we are inadequate;
Our deepest fear is that we are
Powerful beyond measure.
It is our light,
Not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
“Who am I to be talented and fabulous?”
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God;
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about
Shrinking so that other people
Won’t feel secure around you.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God within us.
It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people
Permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
(Nelson Mandela)
You let your light shine! ((Hugs))
Ox Drover
TOWANDA!!!!!!!!! GReat!!! A joy shared is doubled, a burden shared is halved!!!!!! Thanks for sharing this joy with us today!!!!!
DancingWarrior
ErinB,
Snapshot in my mind–I hope I can remember this.
I don’t even know how I did that. It was like reaching inside the dragon’s mouth.
Thank you and cheers with the glass of wine.
Libelle,
Easy on that coffee, kid. I do that sometiems too. Starbucks’ will keep me up every time.
I know this poem, such lovely affirming images. Thank you for posting it. YOu want to know–I had the unorthodox impulse to offer this woman a hug because I think she is lonely and unhappy. She is in her 60s, lives alone with a pug, has grown kids, divorced since kids little. In process of divorce myself, I have compassion as I fear old age, without loving people around me, obsessing over drama at work. So I wanted to give HER a hug and make her feel I am not an enemy.