Researchers at Yale University developed studies to answer the question: Do babies have a sense of right and wrong? What they came up with may surprise you.
Read The moral life of babies, on NYTimes.com. Be sure to watch the video.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.
Well, it’s getting late here. I just want to tell you gals that if I can make it thru a sociopaths theft and smear campaign, so can you. I think I posted on another thread about Mary Jo Buttafuoco’s book, and how disappointed I was.
Ah, well. I’m used to not being part of group, but it still sucks.
@jazzy129, hi, I don’t have Aspergers and sometimes I feel ignored!!! I think everyone on here feels that way sometimes, it’s not an instant type chat room. The people who have healed are here to support us and just plain give of themselves through their life experiences, through what they have learned, I have learned more than I can ever heartfully ever say from the people who post on this board. I have been around here quite a while, sometimes a regular, sometimes off and on, I’ve had disagreements with others, we just keep plodding along.
I did not read Mary Jo’s book, maybe I could check it out of the library. I didn’t know her husband supported her, so her experience is quite different from a lot of the people here. Since you were so dissapointed with the book I probably won’t read it! 🙂
Jazzy129,
Yea, still trying to get him to leave, he still acts like he is a saint to get me to change my mind. It’s all head games with him. I can go another place if I feel threatened. I’m on edge a lot because I don’t know if he’ll snap. Right now he’s in denial and doesn’t get it. So weird.
You didn’t like the book by Mary Jo Buttafuoco? Do you have any books you would recommend?
@jazzy129, you wrote that it is getting late where you are, and I’m on the west coast of the US, usually I don’t even go online until around 8 or 9pm, and then half the time everybody else is already off!! It’s only 7:15pm here! Where did everybody go????????? 🙂
Jazzy129,
I really don’t want to ignore you, I took a break and went for a walk, it’s a beautiful night and since I put some weight on over the winter, it’s time to get moving.
I have also felt like ‘is there someone out there, anyone?”, but that is only because I really needed to talk to someone who understands and it’s an immediate need. Anxiety causes most of my worries though, this site has people in need and people who can help counsel and sometimes they are counseling other people.
We do care, no matter what. Who cares if you have a disagreement? We all aren’t of the same mind anyway. It’s good if you speak up with a different opinion, as long as it’s respectful. I admire people who have the courage to speak their mind and not follow the status quo, especially if the norm is unhealthy, hurtful, prejudiced, and plain nasty.
Jazzy:
I wanted to address your post on feeling ‘ignored’ on Lf.
Since LF isn’t a chat room, posters come and go….and sometimes we are all on at once and can interact more in ‘chat’ fashion.
We all have differing opinions and ideas about what worked for us and will freely offer this advice. If it applies…..take it….if it doesn’t, set it aside.
Most people here come for the same reason….for support. After a bit we get to a place where we can offer the same to another.
It has been my experience at LF that most come from a place of love. We all express differently.
The posters who have been on for a while can’t be ‘penalized’ for their interactions and time on the site.
I understand it might be intimidating to jump in….just like at a cocktail party to walk up and introduce yourself…..BUT…after you do this….your glad you did. LF is the same way. Just jump in wherever with whatever you need.
I wouldn’t take it personally if someone doesnt’ answer right away. And if you see your post not getting answered, repost it…..it might get buried in all the posts.
I have gone through cycles of being on alot….sometimes all day……and lately….not so much. I think we get to a natural point where we have to take our lessons from LF into our real life and we evolve and want to live in the here and now.
I still want to share and I still need some support…..because my spath will always reappear. I know my real life friends get tired of hearing about my trials……so I remain on LF to maintain my real life friendships and not drive them off……..
I also feel a need to inform Lf of the ‘end’ and how it ended…..because there is value in it for others.
I too have survived a sociopath……and I too feel that if I can do it……anyone can! Because I went in blind…..and came out with my awareness raised to the hilt.
I have taken so many lessons from the posters here, whether I agree with the advice or not.
Go with the flow girl…..and don’t take anything personally…..here or in real life.
We are all walking the healing path.
XXOO
EB
Jazzy:) I agree with what everyone’s saying above in that we have all felt a little ignored here, but its worth reflecting on…
I dont know what label to put on myself but I realise I often find it difficult to ‘frame’ what I want to say… or what I am in need of…
I think I have turned into a drop in poster:) and that’s fine. I agree that sometimes regulars are slightly suspicious of drop in posters, and that’s fine too…I understand it…
I think we are all at different stages of healing and we all have something to bring… that’s the beauty of this place:) There are kick asses who shine like lights at the end of the tunnel cheering us on (the old timers?)…and people who are still walking through the tunnel holding our hands, tripping over rocks right with us!
Sometimes we are extremely sensitive to being ‘shot down’ or fear being ‘labelled’ as a pot plant and tossed out, this is because of what we’ve been through. It sometimes feels like it would be unbearable to be discarded AGAIN. ALL the posters here should be VERY mindful of that. me included…
Often when I am at a sticky point my need to be heard can be very ‘urgent’ but I sometimes cant express that with clarity….a quote I read in a book about people with ADD made me go oh blimey! “they would like to dump the information in a heap on the floor all at once and have it be comprehended instantly.” LOL!
and I know that sometimes my feelings about not being heard stem from my lack of good communication and my real life isolation and difficulties in reaching out.
I am NOT saying that about YOU though…I am just waffling about my quwerks and foibles!xxxx and I HAVE to TRUST that saying the above about myself willl not make people want to water me…:)
There are people here from all round the globe, so sometimes there are cultural differences as well as time zone descrepancies…
I also find that often, there are other posters who are describing in wonderful awe- inspiring ways what I would like to be able to express and are getting advice that I can apply to myself…. so just READING here without jumping in is fantastic!:)x
and sometimes I get a response from someone and need to ‘process it’…I dont know how to reply immediately…. I’ve probably peed a few people off just dissappearing!
Erin says above ‘I know my real life friends get tired of hearing about my trials—so I remain on LF to maintain my real life friendships and not drive them off—..’ this is an important point. It’s not ideal when LF is our ONLY source of help or interaction….but sometimes it IS… and that should be addressed in ‘real life’. We need LF but we also need to nuture real life relationships…even if its only one…and that one is a therapist!:)x
BUT Above all I KNOW that the people here DO care about what I’m going through because we have a common experience we are all trying to work through together.xxxx
(Right.do I get the LF award for outstanding waffle now? I think waffle is my ‘special skill’;)x
Sorry…just a bit more waffle… I want to say something about how good you said it felt to be ‘seen’ by someone.xx I understand that feeling. I also think that my ‘craving’ to be ‘seen by another’ really gave the sociopath a leg up in dismantling me.
Validation is so wonderful…working on validating YOURSELF I find is a huge task but an ESSENTIAL one…
‘developing HEALTHY narcissim’… a scary concept for me… having a Narc mother who (in typical textbook fashion) drummed into me that having needs myself was proof positive of my EXTREME SELFISHNESS!
Having Aspergers does not mean that you cannot ALSO be attacked by a sociopath. It’s a double whammy.
Let the healing begin!:)xxxxxxx
blueskies, it’s OK to waffle, get confused, be strong, loose that strength again, self assured, insecure, happy, sad, upset, even tempered or any of the multitude of emotional expressions a human can go through. You, as well as the rest of us were devastated over what another has done to us. There is nothing you can experience, that hasn’t happened to any or all of us on this site. Do we wish the healing process was quicker. You bet we do. Does it happen with the blink of an eye? No sweetheart, it’s not that simple. Everything you are experiences, all the highs, the lows, the pain, tears, sadness, hopefulness etc. is healing. Do we ALL wish we can take that pain from you? Yes. But, that is only our dream. Can we support you and tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can’t see that you are in a tunnel? Yes. It is a slow, painful process. Step by step is how we all heal from these heels.
Best thing anyone can do on this site is to write how you feel at any time, any day of the week. If anyone is on at the time you write, they will gladly write you back.
Peace to your mind, body and soul as you heal.
God Bless you.
what a lovely kind post Wini:)xxx