Recently, a reader posted this in a comment about the father of her children. The comment contains several questions, I’ll address the most concerning first. To read the full comment, see Love Fraud: A spectrum (Part 1).
Another common behavior of my ex that I think affects my children is that he is kind of perverted in what he says and does. When I was married to him, he would continually grab my crotch and butt, and pinch and twist my breasts in a hurtful way, always in front of the children and always against my wishes. He also would say very sexual, inappropriate things. I notice this behavior in my oldest and youngest boys when they come home from his visits. They continually hit and grab the privates of each other in the same way my ex did. I have had to make it very clear that this behavior is not acceptable in my home. My daughter also complains that he says a lot of perverted things to her that make her uncomfortable. She says when she calls him on it, he hangs up and won’t talk to her.
Please be aware that what you describe in terms of the sexual behavior is considered sexual abuse, especially with regard to your daughter. Sandra Brown, MA in her book Counseling Victims of Violence lists as sexual abuse of children:
“-Being made to listen to age- inappropriate dialogue containing sexual jargon or pertaining to sexual acts.
-Being looked or leered at in way that make one feel uncomfortable, or being subjected to inappropriate remarks about one’s developing body.
-Being made to watch or look at age-inappropriate literature, tapes, OR PEOPLE ACTING IN SEXUAL WAYS.” (caps mine)
Sociopaths and narcissists do so many outrageous things that we end up disregarding some of them because to deal with all of their behavior is overwhelming. Since our society is so sexual, there may be a tendency to look the other way regarding violations of sexual boundaries with children. The above behaviors listed by Sandra Brown, MA are clear violations of sexual boundaries that should be in place with children.
Father has also modeled for his sons how to use sex to gain power and abuse women. He models this behavior for his sons when he sexually humiliates their sister in front of them.
I am not suggesting that anyone in this situation, act precipitously to put a stop to it. This poor mother has already been to court once to get visitation restricted and lost. When dealing with sociopaths and narcissists, it is best to get plenty of professionals on your side and to have a well thought out plan.
Buttons
Sotired, it’s a “normal” part of the healing process to get caught up, sometimes.
I’ve mentioned this numerous times, but it still bears repeating: we cannot wrap our heads around the fact that we’ve been in close contact with a human being that completely lacks a conscience or normal human emotions, and this is the lure that’s always beckoning me to enter the cycle, again. “If only I could reach them, somehow, and let them KNOW the damage that they’ve caused, perhaps they’ll WANT to make changes,” and blah-blah-blah. I know it’s emotional blather, so I don’t give in to it, anymore, but it still remains a temptation.
Hang in there, Sotired. You’re well on your healing path!!! Brightest blessings!
sotired
Buttons, Thank you. It does remain a temptation to reach out but I do know I have to protect myself. They can do so much emotional damage, so much damage in so many ways.
THanks and blessings to you.
trollsquad
and another great one for Ukan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Js8FycNYQE
one/joy_step_at_a_time
Hemmorhoids and How To Cure Them Permanently
Hemorrhoids Symptoms
Itching, pain and burning are the main symptoms of hemorrhoids. The amount of pain really depends on how bad the hemorrhoids are, but regardless of how small or big your hemorrhoids symptoms are it is advised that you deal with the problem right away. Hemorrhoids are not life-threatening but as you may or may not have already experienced, living with hemorrhoids is not fun… it’s uncomfortable and just plain painful… not to mention embarrassing!
The worst part is that hemorrhoids usually don’t go away on their own, so it’s a good idea to treat hemmorrhoids as soon as you dicover them. The sooner they are detected and delt with and treated the better.
What Causes Hemorrhoids?
Hemorrhoids are usually caused by big pressure forced upon the rectum or anus often from (but not limited to) constipation, heavy lifting, and remaining seated for very long periods of time. These things can all put stress on the rectal/anal area and cause veins to bulge. These bulging veins in the rectal area are what hemorrhoids are. When someone who has developed hemorrhoids goes to the bathroom or sits down, their condition is further aggravated and inflamed. As you can imagine this can be very frustrating since sitting and going to the bathroom are two things we all the time.
Bad Cases Of Hemorrhoids
In bad cases of hemorrhoids, the inflamed blood vessels actually burst, this very painful and results in bleeding hemorrhoids (sometimes a blood clot can even develop). When hemorrhoids get to this point they are called thrombosed hemorrhoids. However, in most cases people suffering from hemorrhoids discover their condition before this happens.
The Truth About Hemorrhoid Treatments
A common misconception about hemorrhoids treatment is that it must be an external application (such as a creme) to be effective. While it seems logical at first that since hemorrhoids protrude from the rectal area then surely applying a creme or gel directly to the affected area would be the fastest and best solution. But there problem with topical medications. They only provide temporary relief and very rarely cure hemorrhoids (especial in the more severe cases).
So should you not use external medications?
No you can try them but don’t expect to cure your hemorrhoids by using them alone. And if you do use them we suggest using very simple gels such as aloe or petroleum jelly. Recent studies have shown them to help ease the pain and reduce reduce swelling of hemorrhoids that are detected early almost as well as chemical over-the-counter drugs.
So How Can I Cure My Hemorrhoids and Prevent Them From Coming Back?
We recommend you use H Miracle hemorrhoids medication. H Miracle is a medication that both relieves your pain now and prevents hemorrhoids from reemerging. H Miracle is made from a scientific formula including zinc, vitamin E, L-arginine hydrochloride, horse chestnut, and bilberry and other special ingredients. What makes H Miracle hemorrhoids treatment different is that it works from the inside out, similar to how dermatological pills work to improve bad skin.
So if you have been suffering from hemorrhoids and like many have found that regular over the counter medications are simply not getting rid of your hemorrhoids then you owe it to yourself to try H Miracle and finally get rid of your hemorrhoids forever. H Miracle comes with a money-back guarantee so you have nothing to lose.
….mind you, the best way to get rid of hemorroids is to delete the assholes.
ErinBrock
Would that be considered a homeopathic remedy?
🙂 🙂 :):) 🙂
one/joy_step_at_a_time
SNORT, LMAO…OMG, CAN’T BREATHE, WHEEZE, WHEEZE………….
one/joy_step_at_a_time
I HAVE A DULL JACK KNIFE – LET’S JUST CONSIDER IT A PREVENTATIVE MEASURE. 🙂 🙂
ErinBrock
Heres a kleenex and a mask….easy there darlen!
one/joy_step_at_a_time
AND SOME ALCOHOL..TO USE AFTER THE SURGERY 🙂
one/joy_step_at_a_time
gotta go to bed – just thought f there was potting to do, i’d hang around a bit. but doesn’t seem particularly necessary. ave a good night EB.