How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Senior Sociopaths as parents: manipulating their kids while young and as adults

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Sociopaths do not authentically love anyone, including their own children. My new book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, includes a chapter specifically on senior sociopaths as parents. I think it’s the most important chapter in the book. I surveyed Lovefraud readers about people they knew who were age 50 or older and whom they believed were sociopaths. A total of 2,120 people responded to the survey, including 357 who wrote about their disordered parents or stepparents. I also asked all survey respondents if they were familiar with the individual’s behavior as a parent; 1,260 respondents said yes. So I have a wealth of data about the parenting behavior …

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Book Review: Divorcing Your Narcissist

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Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!, by Tracy A. Malone Review by Donna Andersen Marriage to a sociopath or narcissist is really bad, which is why I think most people who find themselves in this situation should divorce. Unfortunately, divorcing your narcissist can be worse than the marriage, at least while you’re going through it. Luckily, narcissists who are divorcing tend to use all the same tactics and scams. In her book, Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!, Tracy Malone reveals the typical dirty tricks they employ as they try to gain the advantage over you. If you’re divorcing a narcissist, read the book. Forewarned is forearmed. Here’s how Tra …

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Married to a senior sociopath: It never gets any better

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Editor’s note: My new book, “Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers,” goes on sale May 17. I’m posting a series of articles to preview the book. Today’s topic: “Married to a senior sociopath.” No one intentionally marries a sociopath. We marry someone who seems to be loving, caring and shares our interests and values. It’s only later — sometimes many years later — that we realize the person we thought we married doesn’t exist. My book, Senior Sociopaths, is based on surveys that I did with Lovefraud readers in which I asked them to describe their experiences with people who were age 50 or older and whom they believed were sociopaths. Of the 2,120 people respond …

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Senior sociopaths and dating: Mature partners aren’t always safe partners

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Editor’s note: My new book, “Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers,” goes on sale May 17. I’m posting a series of articles to preview the book. The first topic: “Senior Sociopaths and Dating.” If you’re an adult who is looking for a date, know this: Potential partners who appear to be mature can still be extremely dangerous to your emotions, psyche, health and finances. My new book, Senior Sociopaths, thoroughly documents what can happen and offers suggestions on avoiding and escaping predatory relationships. The book is based on two surveys in which I specifically asked Lovefraud readers about their experiences with over-50 individuals whom they believed were …

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Why sociopaths succeed: Style matters more than substance

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/RcxW6nrWwtc"] UPDATED FOR 2022. Charismatic, glib, grandiose, magnetic, energetic — sociopaths are typically described in these terms. Here's why sociopaths succeed: No matter what they actually do and say, these men and women have style. And, according to a classic experiment in education research, style is all that is needed to be respected and believed. Back in 1970, Dr. Donald H. Naftulin, director of Continuing Education in Psychiatry at the University of Southern California School of Medicine, and colleagues, conducted an experiment to test the hypothesis that student ratings of educators depend largely on personality variables and not on e …

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Sociopaths say you’re crazy – and you believe them

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UPDATED FOR 2022. The sociopath behaves badly: Lying and then lying to cover up the lies. Disappearing for days without explanation. Draining your finances. Cheating and you have proof! Yet the sociopaths says you're crazy! You are understandably upset. Justifiably angry. Yet when you confront the perpetrator, not only does the sociopath deny, deny, deny, he or she says it never happened, you imagined it all, and you're paranoid. In fact, you're losing your mind! You should be committed! You are so confused that you think the sociopath may be right. Are you losing your mind? How does this happen? How does the sociopath lie, manipulate and deceive, yet you feel like you're the one …

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Why do psychopaths want to mess with your head?

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UPDATED FOR 2022: A Lovefraud reader once asked, in so many words, why do psychopaths want to mess with your head? Here's her exact question: Why is it so important to psychopaths to get inside someone's head and "mess with them," such as gas lighting, and other head games? This particular Lovefraud reader has endured stalking behavior from a psychopathic man for years. He has put her under surveillance, driven her from apartments, interfered with her job, and more — for no discernable reason. They were not romantically involved. He did not take money from her. So the question is, why does he bother? Dominance behavioral system It's a question that goes to the core of the p …

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How to protect yourself from sociopaths in 3 easy steps

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UPDATED FOR 2022. Yes, you can protect yourself from sociopaths. You can stop them from coming into your life and causing serious damage. I'm going to tell you how to do it in three easy steps: Step 1 — Know that sociopaths exist Millions of sociopaths live among us. I am not exaggerating that number. I use the word "sociopath" as an umbrella term for four serious personality disorders. They are: Antisocial personality disorder /psychopathy Narcissistic personality disorder Borderline personality disorder Histrionic personality disorder Although there are clinical differences among these disorders, there are many similarities. People who have these disorders are usually …

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Suddenly he says his mom died — a sociopathic seduction strategy

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You’re chatting or texting with your new romantic partner. You make plans to get together, and suddenly he says his mom died and he has to break the plans. You react to the tragedy with shock and sympathy. Of course, you understand, and you’ll be there when he needs you. But what if it’s not true? What if when he says his mom died, he was lying? This happened to a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call Charlene22. Her story is below. Names are changed. Lovefraud reader's story I met Rick on Tinder in early January. We sent only a few messages back and forth before he asked for my snapchat so we could communicate there instead. We continued to talk every day for about a week, and had plan …

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After 6 months of No Contact, the sociopath wants to begin again

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UPDATED FOR 2022: Suppose you successfully get rid of a sociopath and he or she leaves you alone. Then, after months of No Contact, he or she reaches out to you. The sociopath wants to begin again. What do you do? Here's an email exchange I once had with a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Alana." Alana wrote: Donna, I came across ur website accidentally after I left a guy and was searching for some answers on whether he was abusive, I was left totally confused. When I met him 4 years ago, he seemed so crazy about me and he would send me hundreds of texts per day and 10 phone calls, he wanted to see me every day. At first I felt suffocated I wanted to run in the other direction, …

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