How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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To recover from the sociopath, first recognize the depth of your pain

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UPDATED FOR 2020 A Lovefraud reader who posts as "LadyA" sent Lovefraud the following email. At the end, I suggest how she can recover from the sociopath. I've spent a lot time thinking about my experience with my spath, and how it affected me and the people around me. I have read article after article, story after story. I now fully understand what spaths do and how they do it but I didn't understand why I don't feel any better about it. What was I missing? When I left my spath it was a fairly dramatic experience. He had just been sentenced to serve jail time on the weekends for an obstruction of justice charge. My mom flew into town and in one swoop we packed up everything we could …

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Recovering from a sociopath by living your life

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UPDATED FOR 2020 You're in meltdown. You've come to the conclusion that you've been involved with a sociopath, and that everything this person told you was a lie, from the details of his or her life to the proclamations of undying love. Now it all makes sense. Now you understand how the unbelievable headiness of the whirlwind romance (love bombing) morphed into the silent treatment, unexplained absences and unprovoked rages (devalue and discard). You have discovered the truth: The person you fell in love with never existed. Everything you saw and experienced was an act designed to exploit you. You are crushed. Overwhelmed by disappointment and betrayal, the emotional pain is …

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How to find love after the sociopath

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UPDATED FOR 2020 A girl walks into a bar. A band was playing and the place was packed, so there were no empty bar stools. The girl had had a rough few years. First she married a man who turned out to be a con artist that took all her money. Then she dated a guy who wasn't a con artist, but broke her heart. A tall, nice-looking man leaned against the bar. He offered the girl a place to put her coat. Then he offered to buy the girl a drink. She accepted. They chatted. They danced. And they lived happily ever after. This story is true. The girl is me, and this happened on April 28, 2001, when I met Terry Kelly, the man who became my husband. Did I know on that day that I had …

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New! Best of the Lovefraud Blog Series

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Understanding the Sociopath explains, in plain language, the 12% of the population who do not play by the same rules of life as the rest of us. These master manipulators, who have antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders, seem normal at first, but their objective is to use and exploit us. Seduced by a Sociopath explains how millions of people pursuing romantic relationships are charming, affectionate, passionate — and fake. These deceptive sociopaths pursue romantic relationships not for love, but for exploitation. Learn how they convince you to fall for them, so you can spot the charade and escape. Dealing with a Sociopath explains how to i …

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Narcissistic abuse — how to spot it, what to do about it

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/yTsZk-zmc4E"] Due to technical difficulties, the revised webinar is cancelled. The original version is still available. Until recently, there was no recognition in the mental health field of narcissistic abuse. Plenty of people suffered psychological and emotional abuse, gaslighting, and complex PTSD, but there was no term for what the perpetrators were doing. Narcissistic abuse still is not an official term or recognized in the bible of psychiatry — the DSM-5. But because of the Internet and social media, survivors are talking about it, and now therapists are too. Tiffany J. Kettermann, LPC, specializes in treating survivors of narcissistic a …

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How to remain calm and collected during family court cross-examination

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/The7JfNwjF8"] If you will be facing an abusive ex during family court cross-examination, your emotional state is probably somewhere between apprehensive and terrified. You know how he or she twists the truth. You may have discovered that your ex's attorney is just as bad. But when they make unfounded accusations against you, will you be able to remain calm and collected so you can refute their lies? Yes — if you are prepared. Lovefraud's upcoming webinar will help you prepare: Take back your throne: Reclaim your power in family court cross-examination Presented by Attorney Caroline Solo Wednesday, March 18, 8 - 9 pm ET Thursday, March 19, 10 - 1 …

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Antisocials, psychopaths and sex: What you need to know

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UPDATED FOR 2020 Most Lovefraud readers are here because you were, or are, romantically involved with someone who has a serious personality disorder. Usually romance leads to sex, although you may have noticed that sex with a an antisocial or psychopath isn't particularly romantic. The sex may be exciting, erotic and adventurous. But if you're looking for a true connection, the "sacred conjunction," you're not going to find it with an antisocial or psychopath, and here's why: Power, control and sex According to Dr. Liane Leedom, people who have antisocial or psychopathic personality disorder want three things in life: Power, control and sex. Often, sex is simply an extension of …

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Fotis Dulos, charged in wife’s murder, dead after suicide attempt

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UPDATE for 2020 Fotis Dulos, charged with kidnapping and murder in his wife's disappearance, has died. He had been in critical condition due to carbon monoxide poisoning after an apparent suicide attempt. Read the article: Fotis Dulos, Connecticut man charged in wife Jennifer Dulos' murder, dead after suicide attempt, lawyer says, on Foxnews.com.   Original Lovefraud story — June 5, 2019: Jennifer Dulos disappearance: Warning signs in the custody battle Jennifer Dulos, a mother of five from New Canaan, Connecticut, has been missing since May 24, 2019. Since her blood was on clothing and sponges found in 30 garbage bags that her estranged husband, Fotis Dulos, was a …

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Criminal profilers discuss the Chris Watts murders

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UPDATED FOR 2020 https://youtu.be/s1qORsx8veo Mary Ann Glynn, who is a Lovefraud webinar presenter, recently appeared on a panel  of criminal profilers to discuss the Chris Watts murders. Watts' wife and two young daughters disappeared on August 13, 2018. Two days later, Watts was arrested and subsequently confessed to murdering them all. In this video, Mary Ann Glynn explains why she believes Watts is disordered, and what motivated his actions. Here is Lovefraud's original coverage of the story: Is Chris Watts, who killed his pregnant wife and kids, a sociopath? When his wife and daughters were missing in August, Chris Watts pleaded for their safe return. Then the …

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3 self-care steps to begin your recovery from narcissistic abuse

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If you have tangled with anyone who has an exploitative and manipulative personality disorder, you have endured narcissistic abuse. What, exactly, does that mean? Good question. "Narcissistic abuse" is not an official term listed in the bible of mental health, which is the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association). If you Google the term, you'll find the circular definition that narcissistic abuse is abuse inflicted by a narcissist. Mental health officialdom does not seem to have a good understanding of how these disordered individuals behave in romantic, family or other relationships. So looking for answers, we, the targets, have turned to the …

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