How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Michelle Carter claims urging her boyfriend to commit suicide was “free speech”

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On July 12, 2014, two Massachusetts teenagers, Michelle Carter and her boyfriend Conrad Roy III, were texting about suicide. Specifically, Carter urged Roy to commit suicide. She wrote: "Just go somewhere in your truck and no one is really out there right now because it's an awkward time. If you don't do it now you're never gonna do it, and you can say you'll do it tomorrow, but you probably won't. Tonight? Love you." Roy got back in his truck and committed suicide. Almost three years later, Carter was convicted of involuntary manslaughter. Carter's conviction was upheld by the Massachusetts Supreme Court on February 6, 2019. She is now serving a 15-month prison sentence. But a few …

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What to do with your anger at the sociopath

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When I finally realized that my husband, James Montgomery, had lied to me, cheated on me, and targeted me just to take my money, I was angry. Furious. Outraged. With each lie I discovered, my internal upheaval grew. Yes, he was cheating with multiple women, and taking money from them as well. No, he was not a Hollywood screenwriter, although he pretended to be. No, he had never served in the Australian military, even though he claimed to have won its highest honor. I felt the anger deep within me. I had a hard time concentrating on what I needed to do to extricate myself from the mess. I couldn't sleep. Perhaps you know what I mean. Anger management Dealing with anger was …

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Two Australian ‘black widows’ convinced men to commit murder

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Yes, women can be psychopaths. The Daily Mail just published an article about two women from Australia — Michelle Burgess and Melissa Shaw — who exerted such mind control over their male lovers that the men were willing to do anything for them — including commit murder. Michelle Burgess of Adelaide promised her lover, Kevin Matthews, that she would kill his wife so they could be together. Then Burgess convinced another of her lovers, David Key, to actually do the deed. He did, and was caught. Burgess, Matthews and Key were all convicted. Once in prison, Burgess attempted to seduce multiple male prison guards. The prison had to establish a policy that male guards could not be alone with …

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10 Lessons on divorcing a sociopath that I learned the hard way

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Throughout my marriage to the sociopath, James Montgomery, I was confused. He kept telling me that he loved me, but he went through all my money, put me in debt, and didn't care that I was upset about it. What kind of marriage was that? When I finally discovered that Montgomery was cheating on me, in fact, that he had a child with another woman during our marriage, my first reaction was relief. Now I could leave. I wanted this man out of my life as soon as possible, which meant I needed a divorce. Here's what I learned about divorcing a sociopath. When divorcing a sociopath, you need a good attorney The first attorney I consulted, who was suggested by a friend, was awful. I …

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Shrink Next Door: Like a cult leader, psychiatrist takes over his patient’s life

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Joe Nocera, a seasoned business journalist, bought a house in Southampton, New York, in 2010. He thought his next door neighbor was a psychiatrist from New York, Dr. Isaac "Ike" Herschkopf. Another man, Marty Markowitz, who lived in the house, seemed to be a caretaker. Except that Marty Markowitz actually owned the house, and for nearly 30 years, the psychiatrist had taken over his life. Herschkopf separated Markowitz from his family. Herschkopf became the co-signer on his patient's million-dollar Swiss bank account. The psychiatrist threw lavish, star-studded parties in Markowitz' home, with the owner acting like a waiter, pouring drinks and cleaning up after the guests. Nocera …

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Facebook made a video of me without my permission

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Today I received an alert on my iPad from Facebook. It said, Donna, we made a video of you and your friends. Huh? So I click the link, and there's another message: The Moments That Bring Us Closer Donna, today we're celebrating the everyday things that bring friends like yours together. We hope you enjoy your video! Beneath this is a video of some random people whom I definitely do not know building some fabric contraption that I couldn't identify. Superimposed on this are my Facebook photos, displaying one after the other. Then another random video of people I don't know. When I finally found the sound button, there was music I never heard of playing throughout the video. I was …

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10 mistakes to avoid when leaving a sociopath

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Ending a relationship with a sociopath is not a normal break-up. Sociopaths (people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders) do not pursue romantic relationships in search of mutual love and companionship. They are looking for someone to use in some way — such as for money, sex, or to siphon off your emotional energy. Therefore, when you end a relationship with a sociopath, you can't get together, hug, cry and wish each other well, as you might with a normal person. When leaving a sociopath, you need to be strategic. Here are 10 mistakes to avoid: Thinking you can still be friends You may still be c …

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Stalking, burglary, identity theft — all by one criminal

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Most criminals specialize. They're drug runners, or they're car thieves, or they're credit card fraudsters, etc. One of the indicators of a psychopath, however, is "criminal versatility." That means psychopaths engage in all kinds of crime. A Lovefraud reader sent me a story, and "criminal versatility" seems to apply. Christopher Endicott, of Dakota County,  Minnesota, was sentenced last week for stalking, burglary and identity theft. According to KARE11 in Minnesota, Endicott said in court, "I don't pretend that what I did makes sense, even to me. There is no excuse for my actions." Here's what Endicott, a former principal, did, according to KARE11: Broke into his neighbors' …

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Daniel Spence, gay fake millionaire, scams friends, family, lovers and strangers

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The Observer recently ran a story about Daniel Spence, a sociopathic con artist (although the article didn't identify him as a sociopath). Read it here: The Grindr Grifter, on Observer.com. It's a good and well-written description of how a sociopathic con artist works: Spence, originally from Texas but most recently operating in hipster Brooklyn, made outrageous claims of wealth and power, flaunting the money he acquired by defrauding friends and lovers. Here are some instructive highlights: 1 . Yes, sociopaths operate in the gay community. Spence appeared to be gay, and targeted gay men. However, he may or may not have been authentically gay, because the sexual orientation of …

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Children with a sociopath — do you stay or do you go?

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Finally figuring out, after years of marriage and a couple of kids, that your partner is a sociopath, is a good news/bad news situation. The good news: You are not crazy. You were not imagining things and you were not overreacting. There is a bona fide, medical reason for the insanity you have been enduring — your spouse has a serious personality disorder. The bad news: Now that you know what the problem is, you need to figure out what to do about it — and all of the options are difficult. I'm writing this blog in response to the post in the Lovefraud Forum submitted by "Gccc," called 16 years, 2 children later, my life imploded. A death of sorts. Following is what she wrote. The Vo …

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