How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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10 Lessons on divorcing a sociopath that I learned the hard way

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Throughout my marriage to the sociopath, James Montgomery, I was confused. He kept telling me that he loved me, but he went through all my money, put me in debt, and didn't care that I was upset about it. What kind of marriage was that? When I finally discovered that Montgomery was cheating on me, in fact, that he had a child with another woman during our marriage, my first reaction was relief. Now I could leave. I wanted this man out of my life as soon as possible, which meant I needed a divorce. Here's what I learned about divorcing a sociopath. When divorcing a sociopath, you need a good attorney The first attorney I consulted, who was suggested by a friend, was awful. I …

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Shrink Next Door: Like a cult leader, psychiatrist takes over his patient’s life

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Joe Nocera, a seasoned business journalist, bought a house in Southampton, New York, in 2010. He thought his next door neighbor was a psychiatrist from New York, Dr. Isaac "Ike" Herschkopf. Another man, Marty Markowitz, who lived in the house, seemed to be a caretaker. Except that Marty Markowitz actually owned the house, and for nearly 30 years, the psychiatrist had taken over his life. Herschkopf separated Markowitz from his family. Herschkopf became the co-signer on his patient's million-dollar Swiss bank account. The psychiatrist threw lavish, star-studded parties in Markowitz' home, with the owner acting like a waiter, pouring drinks and cleaning up after the guests. Nocera …

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Facebook made a video of me without my permission

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Today I received an alert on my iPad from Facebook. It said, Donna, we made a video of you and your friends. Huh? So I click the link, and there's another message: The Moments That Bring Us Closer Donna, today we're celebrating the everyday things that bring friends like yours together. We hope you enjoy your video! Beneath this is a video of some random people whom I definitely do not know building some fabric contraption that I couldn't identify. Superimposed on this are my Facebook photos, displaying one after the other. Then another random video of people I don't know. When I finally found the sound button, there was music I never heard of playing throughout the video. I was …

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10 mistakes to avoid when leaving a sociopath

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Ending a relationship with a sociopath is not a normal break-up. Sociopaths (people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders) do not pursue romantic relationships in search of mutual love and companionship. They are looking for someone to use in some way — such as for money, sex, or to siphon off your emotional energy. Therefore, when you end a relationship with a sociopath, you can't get together, hug, cry and wish each other well, as you might with a normal person. When leaving a sociopath, you need to be strategic. Here are 10 mistakes to avoid: Thinking you can still be friends You may still be c …

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Stalking, burglary, identity theft — all by one criminal

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Most criminals specialize. They're drug runners, or they're car thieves, or they're credit card fraudsters, etc. One of the indicators of a psychopath, however, is "criminal versatility." That means psychopaths engage in all kinds of crime. A Lovefraud reader sent me a story, and "criminal versatility" seems to apply. Christopher Endicott, of Dakota County,  Minnesota, was sentenced last week for stalking, burglary and identity theft. According to KARE11 in Minnesota, Endicott said in court, "I don't pretend that what I did makes sense, even to me. There is no excuse for my actions." Here's what Endicott, a former principal, did, according to KARE11: Broke into his neighbors' …

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Daniel Spence, gay fake millionaire, scams friends, family, lovers and strangers

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The Observer recently ran a story about Daniel Spence, a sociopathic con artist (although the article didn't identify him as a sociopath). Read it here: The Grindr Grifter, on Observer.com. It's a good and well-written description of how a sociopathic con artist works: Spence, originally from Texas but most recently operating in hipster Brooklyn, made outrageous claims of wealth and power, flaunting the money he acquired by defrauding friends and lovers. Here are some instructive highlights: 1 . Yes, sociopaths operate in the gay community. Spence appeared to be gay, and targeted gay men. However, he may or may not have been authentically gay, because the sexual orientation of …

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Children with a sociopath — do you stay or do you go?

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Finally figuring out, after years of marriage and a couple of kids, that your partner is a sociopath, is a good news/bad news situation. The good news: You are not crazy. You were not imagining things and you were not overreacting. There is a bona fide, medical reason for the insanity you have been enduring — your spouse has a serious personality disorder. The bad news: Now that you know what the problem is, you need to figure out what to do about it — and all of the options are difficult. I'm writing this blog in response to the post in the Lovefraud Forum submitted by "Gccc," called 16 years, 2 children later, my life imploded. A death of sorts. Following is what she wrote. The Vo …

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John Martin Hill scams woman for $80,000 – just his latest love fraud victim

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Here we go again — another online love fraud case. John Martin Hill was arrested in Tennessee last week, accused of taking $80,000 from a Georgia woman he met on Match.com. But apparently, she was just the most recent victim. Police in Gwinnett County, Georgia, are talking to detectives in four other states — Virginia, Delaware, Maryland and New Jersey — about dating scams he allegedly pulled there as well. Hill had convinced the Georgia woman that he was a millionaire and in love with her. On the day they met in person, they agreed to get married within the week. The woman gave him $80,000, and Hill disappeared. Man accused in online love scam connected to crimes in multiple states, on …

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Gender identity: fun and games for psychopaths

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One of the issues raging through the political landscape these days, stirring up passions on the left and the right, is the Equality Act, passed by the United States House of Representatives on May 17, 2019. Proponents of the law generally say that everyone should be treated the same, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Objections to provisions of the law are often based on opponents' views on biology or religious convictions. But this law should also be evaluated in the context of the millions of psychopaths living among us, who I believe will have a great time exploiting it. And that's what Lovefraud's research — highlighted below — indicates. What the Equality Act s …

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Superhero creator Stan Lee allegedly a victim of elder abuse

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In real life, superheroes need to watch out for sociopathic predators, just like the rest of us. Stan Lee, the creator of Marvel Comics characters, including all the Avengers, like Iron Man, Spider Man and the Black Panther, was allegedly subjected to elder abuse by the man who was supposed to be his business manager. Keya Morgan was arrested in Arizona on Saturday, May 25, 2019, for elder abuse. He was charged with theft, embezzlement, forgery or fraud against an elder adult, and false imprisonment of an elder adult. Police say Morgan stole more than $262,000 from autograph sessions Lee did a year ago. Police also say Morgan took Lee from his home to a condo where "Morgan had more …

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