How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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3 steps to prevent a sociopath from taking advantage of your vulnerabilities

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"Is it really a vulnerability to respond to somebody (apparently) liking and desiring you? Is that not just a basic human need that we all want to have fulfilled?" The Lovefraud reader Dorabella asked these questions on a story that I posted a couple of weeks ago, The sociopath as your soul mate. They are great questions. The answers are: Yes, it's a vulnerability to respond to someone desiring you, and yes, it's a basic human need. So although these are vulnerabilities, they are also normal human qualities. To be human is to have vulnerabilities. A vulnerability is a weak point, and whenever we want something, that creates a weak point. Most of us want a romantic relationships, so …

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“Ordinary men” do not shoot their wives and daughters — sociopaths do

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Claire Hart, or Spalding, Lincolnshire, England, had just escaped her emotionally abusive and controlling husband. In July 2016, Claire's grown sons, Luke and Ryan, packed up her and their 19-year-old sister, Charlotte, and moved them into a rented house. Five days later, the controlling husband, Lance, shot Claire and Charlotte in the parking lot of a local sports center. Then he shot himself. A Lovefraud reader just sent me a story about the tragedy that The Guardian newspaper published last year. You can read it here: 'We didn't recognise that he was dangerous': our father killed our mother and sister After the shootings, Luke and Ryan were shocked to see articles in the media …

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Find healing from the sociopath in the holiday spirit

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For the first time in our 17 years together, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I, visited New York City during the holiday season. It was far more magical than I anticipated. At the Birdland jazz club, we saw David and the Bombshells, a retro, 1930s-style band with three female singers (the Bombshells). Then, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, we saw 20-foot Christmas tree surrounded by a gorgeous, 18th-century Nativity Creche. After that, we visited the Christmas tree Rockefeller Plaza — a 72-foot tall Norway spruce decorated with thousands of LED lights. Then came the best part — the Christmas Spectacular show at Radio City Music Hall, featuring the high-kicking Radio City Roc …

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5 prison inmates steal $560K from military personnel in love fraud scam

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Five inmates in a South Carolina prison managed to scam 442 members of the armed forces by using smuggled cell phones to initiate love fraud scams. They posed as underaged girls, contacted the service members, and then blackmailed the victims for $560,000 in hush money. US Attorney Sherri Lydon held a press conference in front of the prison in Columbia, South Carolina, and announced charges against five men: Antwine Lamar Matthews, 28 Rakeem Spivey, 27 Jimmy Dunbar Jr., 37 Wendell Wilkins, 30 David Paul Dempsey, 31 In addition to them, 10 more people were charged with helping the scammers collect the money from the victims. Finally — U.S. authorities are going after …

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Signs of a sociopath: Man allegedly gets out of prison and immediately kills a woman

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David James Bohart, 34, of Arizona, got out of prison on Monday, November 19, 2018. That same day, police in Tucson received a 911 call in which a man reported that he was just released from prison and had killed his girlfriend. Bohart was arrested in a Tucson motel on suspicion of second-degree murder. The victim, Marika L. Jones, 49, was found dead in a home. While searching the home, detectives found a Department of Corrections file box belonging to Bohart. None of this looks good for Bohart. This story gives multiple hints that Bohart may be a sociopath: If he did, in fact, commit the murder, well, killing someone is a big warning sign. Killing someone on the day he got …

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The sociopath as your soul mate

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A few years ago, I read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which was the #1 New York Times bestseller when it was published in 2007. Gilbert tells her story of supposedly having everything career, marriage, home yet feeling depressed and unhappy. She left it all, got a divorce, and then spent a year abroad to find herself. She ate her way through Italy, studied spiritual practice in India, and sought to balance pleasure and divinity in Indonesia. While going through her divorce, Gilbert had a relationship with a man whom she calls "David." This didn't seem to be a sociopathic relationship, just normally dysfunctional. Although they broke up, Gilbert, from time to time, pined for David. …

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With gratitude on Thanksgiving

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Happy Thanksgiving to all Lovefraud readers! On this special day, I am grateful for: All of you Lovefraud readers, who so generously share your stories, support and advice to new survivors who visit our site. All of Lovefraud's talented webinar instructors, who share their expertise and wisdom to help you overcome your challenges. Our talented webmaster, Dave Rodrigues, who solves our technical problems. (If you tried to visit yesterday and Lovefraud was down, it is because we were under attack by multiple IP addresses. We have no idea why.) My wonderful husband, Terry Kelly, who offers wonderful support for me and all of Lovefraud. (He also made a killer Pumpkin Chiffon Mousse …

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Why 14,347 donors gave more than $400,000 to a fake campaign to help a homeless vet

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In this video from August, Megyn Kelly of Good Morning America interviews Katelyn McClure and her boyfriend, Michael D'Amico, about the more than $400,000 they raised for a homeless vet. Right there on national TV, they are lying. In November 2017, according to McClure, she was driving on I-95 in Philadelphia when she ran out of gas in a bad neighborhood. She got out of her car, and was about to walk to get gas, when a homeless veteran who panhandled on the side of the road told her it wasn't safe — she should stay in her car. Johnny Bobbitt walked to a gas station, and using his last 20 dollars, bought her gas so she could get home safely. McClure and her boyfriend, Mark D'Amico, said …

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Signs of a sociopath: Ed Shin on trial for murdering his business partner

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A Lovefraud reader sent me a link about Edward Shin, 40, who is currently on trial in Orange County, California. He is charged with murdering his business partner, Chris Smith. News accounts of the case include clues that Shin may be a sociopath. In June 2010, Smith was a 33-year-old entrepreneur and surfer with an oceanfront apartment, a serious girlfriend and a bright future. He and Shin were partners in a company called 800XChange, which focused on debt consolidation. They were making a lot of money. Then, Smith's family began receiving emails — he had always wanted to escape a mundane existence, and he had decided to cash in and go on a travel adventure. According to Smith's e …

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Here’s the absolutely best way to protect yourself from sociopaths

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Yes, you can avoid letting a sociopath into your life. All you have to do is listen to your intuition. Security expert Gavin deBecker, who wrote The Gift of Fear, explains that intuition evolved within us over the millennia for one reason: To protect us from predators. Sociopaths are predators, and our intuition will warn us about them. The key is to pay attention. Sometimes the warning is blatant — one woman told me about feeling instantly terrified when a man approached her. But instead of heeding her internal warning, she berated herself for being judgmental — after all, the man had done nothing to her. She talked to him; they became romantically involved; he was, in fact, a soc …

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