How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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10 reasons why the fireworks of a romance with a sociopath are duds

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In honor of July 4th, let’s talk about fireworks — the really dangerous kind. These are the fireworks that you feel exploding all around you early in your relationship with someone who later turns out to be a sociopath. Here’s what you see and experience, and what it really going on. 1. You see: Nonstop texts, emails and social media postings Reality: You’re not the only one receiving them. The Internet and social media make it easy for sociopaths to work multiple targets at once, and they do. 2. You experience: Conversations that last for hours Reality: The sociopath is pumping you for information, which he/she will later use to manipulate you. 3. You experience: Nonstop dates, get-t …

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Sociopaths and double lives

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A reporter inquired about people who live double lives. Why do they do it? Can they maintain double lives for a long time? What are the dangers? Like most of us at Lovefraud, I have some experience with this. My ex-husband, James Montgomery, cheated with at least six different women during our 2.5-year marriage. He had a child with one of the women. Ten days after I left him, he married the mother of the child, which was the second time he committed bigamy. And of course, he took a quarter-million dollars from me—spending much of the money entertaining these other women. Not everyone who lives a double life is a sociopath. Some people, like spies and undercover cops, are doing their j …

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Forcing kids to bond with parents they don’t want to see

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Sometimes, in high-conflict divorces, children do not want to have anything to do with one of their parents. Many Lovefraud readers have seen their sociopathic ex-partners turn children away from them. They call it "parental alienation." But sometimes sociopathic parents fabricate claims of parental alienation in order to pry children away from the other parent. They claim the other parent is intentionally poisoning the kids against them, when, in fact, it is their own abusive behavior. It can be very difficult to know what is going on and who is the abusive parent. But a new industry has sprung up — programs that claim they can reunite children with a parent whom they don't want to sp …

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7 reasons why regular people enable sociopaths

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Three former administration officials of Penn State University were sentenced to jail last Friday because they failed to report signs that Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant football coach, was sexually abusing boys. This is right and just. They should be held accountable. The former university president, Graham B. Spanier, will spend at least two months in jail, followed by two months of house arrest. Gary Schultz, the former athletic director, and Tim Curley, a former vice president, will also spend time in jail, followed by house arrest. On October 9, 2012, Sandusky was sentenced to 30 to 60 years in prison for assaulting 10 boys. However, more men also came forward, and Penn …

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The Marriage Masks: Three types of sociopathic relationships

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Here at Lovefraud, we've heard thousands of horror stories of marriages to sociopaths. Thinking about these unfortunate involvements, it seems to me that there are three types of romantic relationships with sociopaths. I call them the Marriage Masks, and they are:1. Calculated exploitationThe sociopath targets an individual for the explicit purpose of exploiting him or her, using the unsuspecting partner for money, sex, a place to live or something else that the sociopath wants.My ex-husband, James Montgomery, targeted me because I had what he wanted: money, good credit, my own home and business connections in the city where he decided he was going to make a fortune. He sweet talked me, …

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Senior Sociopath survey closing soon

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There's a rumor floating around in mental health circles that sociopaths "burn out" with age, that they engage in less antisocial behavior as they get older. Is this true? Lovefraud wants to find out. So we've developed a survey to gather data from you. Were you involved with a sociopath while he or she was over age 50? The individual could have been any of the following: Your spouse or ex-spouse Your romantic partner Your parent Your stepparent Your child Your stepchild Your sibling Another family member A work colleague A business associate A friend, neighbor or acquaintance If you are familiar with how this individual behaved while over the age of 50, please …

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The Atlantic publishes: ‘When Your Child Is a Psychopath’

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When Samantha was six years old, she tried to choke her two-year-old sister as they sat in the back seat of their mother's car. After mom separated them, Samantha said she wanted to kill everyone in the family. The anecdote starts an article in the June issue of The Atlantic, When Your Child Is a Psychopath. The author, Barbara Bradley Hagerty, writes that Samantha was diagnosed with conduct disorder with callous and unemotional traits. She has the traits of a budding psychopath. Hagerty spoke to many of the leading experts on psychopathy and how it develops for this article. It's a good explanation of the state of the science. The article also describes a treatment program for ad …

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How disordered parents set children up to be exploited by psychopaths

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Book Review: A History of a Pedophile's Wife — Memoir of a Canadian Teacher and Writer, by Eleanor Cowan Review by Donna Andersen People born to disordered parents are likely to be vulnerable to psychopaths later in life. I've explained this to many, many people that I've spoken to in my personal consultations. Eleanor Cowan's book, A History of a Pedophile's Wife, explains exactly how it happens. Childhood without love Eleanor was born in 1948 outside of Montreal, Canada, the second child in what would become a large Catholic family. Her childhood was molded by the dictates of the Catholic Church, wholeheartedly accepted by her father, and the disinterest of a personality d …

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How to implement No Contact

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When people realize that that they are involved with a sociopath, the standard advice from Lovefraud is that they should, as quickly as possible, cut the predator out of their lives. That means no phone calls, no e-mails, no texts, and certainly no in-person meetings. It means No Contact. Of course, there are times when this is difficult, as when you work with the sociopath, or have children together. In these cases, you need to implement No Contact as best you can. But let's now talk about situations where it is possible to get rid of the person, such as in a dating relationship. What is the best way to establish No Contact? Clearly, firmly and permanently. The rules of No …

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No matter what they say, sociopaths only want power, control and sex

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Two Letters to Lovefraud both had the same theme: Sociopathic men who relentlessly pursued women, proclaiming their love, making glowing promises of a committed relationship. The men pushed for sex, and although the women resisted, eventually, believing they were involved in real romances, the women succumbed to the men’s physical desires. With that, both women were dumped. Read the letters here: I met him on Facebook, was used for sex and dumped the next day I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseated Both women were astounded at how they were unceremoniously booted. They had a hard time coming to grips with the idea that they’d been used and abused. How could a man say all …

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