Left my ex since almost 4 years now, the hell I went through with him, it’s a miracle I’m still here.
Even though I’ve left he still pops up here and there doing the hoovering manuever, which is well known for borderline narcs. He would use the silent treatment on me and it drove me crazy as at that time. I had no idea about the narcissistic personality disorder one can have.
I was pregnant with his child, I left my country to live with him in his country. He promised he love and all the wonderful things in life and always used to coo about how he would like to see me pregnant with a baby bump and all, so when it finally happened he blackmailed me into getting an abortion. He literally forced me. I had no family in his country, my country was out of the question, as I had a dysfunctional childhood. I think he sought me out and knew he could make me one of his love slaves to use and abuse.
It’s been 3 years since the abortion and 4 years since I left him. I’m still staying in his country yet with someone else who shows me more love and care. Yet the fact that he lied to me and messed with my head, all the hookers he went around with ( evidence I found on his phone, pictures no msgs) I could never feel forgiveness towards him.
I’ve gone NC but he manages to find me and ring me up, even if I hadn’t heard from him in 7 months. It confuses me to think about how I could end up in such a mess, which would haunt me till death. I really wanted to start a family and life with this man as well as be married to him.
I’m over the worst part of it but still I think what if. I never want to get married or ever have children in the future. Somehow I’ve been scarred by this all.