How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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BOOK REVIEW: Escaping the Boy – My Life with a Sociopath

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Many, many people tell me that they should write a book about their experiences with a sociopath. Paula Carrasquillo is one of those who have done it. Her novella, Escaping the boy: My life with a sociopath, is not long. The actual story is only about 50 pages, with plenty of white space. But in those few pages, Paula tells a powerful narrative of her disordered ex and the insanity she endured living with him. The way she does it is through carefully selected vignettes. She refers to her ex as "the boy," and to herself as "the woman." Some of the anecdotes portray the boy's life before the woman entered the picture. But most of them provide glimpses of his unreasonable demands, her …

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Dating again after the sociopath

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Lovefraud received the following email from the reader who posts as "Saskgirl:" I must say that your website is a lifesaver. It has helped me recover from a devastating relationship with a sociopath. It is amazing how many stories I read on your site and can totally identify with them. The people could be talking about the piece of garbage I was tangled up with. I have been single for about a year and a half and have spent a lot of that time healing and working on me. I am ready to start dating (I think) but I'm afraid that it will be disastrous for me. I was so emotionally wrecked that I'm terrified of being there again. I don't trust anyone and believe that just about every thing …

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How psychopathic parents affect children

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A Lovefraud reader who posts as "Mani" asked a question that I'm sure is of interest to many others, so I'll address it in a blog post. Mani writes: I was one of the children who lived with a psychopath for a long time. I fought all my life not to let him be a part of my personality. In comparison to what I was exposed to I think I have been successful. But is there anybody out there who can shed more light on the effects of a psychopath father on children, particularly boys? I know there is tendency to label these children as secondary psychopaths but I haven't seen anybody talking about the mechanics of it. And I am sure all these children don't become secondary psychopaths. This is a …

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Introducing a new Lovefraud author: Quinn Pierce

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Most of us are here at Lovefraud because we've had our lives ravaged by someone who we now realize is a sociopath. The experience of overwhelming deceit and intentional abuse is difficult to comprehend, much less describe. Trying to explain what happened, even to ourselves, leaves many of us at a loss for words. That's why it is so comforting to find the right words expressed by someone else. When another person precisely describes what we've lived through, it validates our own perceptions and lets us know that we aren't the only ones who have gone through such hell. Quinn Pierce, a writer and educator, has the gift of choosing the right words. That's why I am so pleased to announce that …

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Sociopaths change how we look at the world

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Most of us grow up believing that all people are created equal, that human beings are basically good, and everybody wants to be loved. These are the messages we learn in school, in church, and in the age of political correctness, from the media. These beliefs are the lenses through which we view the world and the people in it. Our beliefs influence how we perceive and understand the behavior of those we meet. And, for about 90 percent of the population, the beliefs work just fine. Bad treatment Then we realize that someone in our life isn't treating us well. We may think this person is reacting to our behavior, that we're doing something to provoke anger or elicit criticism after …

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Military Lovefraud part 2: Woman outs scammer, he wants to talk anyway

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When Debby Wadsworth of Minnesota posted an online profile, she immediately received inquiries from men claiming to be military. Being former military herself, she knew "GoodSoul87" wasn't what he claimed to be. She was right. He wasn't Staff Sgt. Ricky James. He was Fofo "Nathanial" Babington, an unemployed 26-year-old from Ghana. Story and video: Behind lonely troops lurks an online con featuring fake IDs, photos, on StarTribune.com. Interestingly, it sounds like Babington was using the same photo of a Sgt. James that Lovefraud posted almost two years ago. The POW Network was able to identify the real Sgt. James, and apparently his photo is one of the most frequently stolen for …

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Military Lovefraud part 1: Epidemic of romance scams

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There is something about men in uniform — and perhaps women in uniform — that is appealing and romantic. Hundreds, or perhaps thousands, of scammers take advantage of military attraction to separate unsuspecting targets from their money. Here's how they work: Con artists working out of Internet cafes — often in Africa — troll through dating sites, Facebook and other websites, striking up acquaintances with lonely people, usually women. They talk about the dangerous but important work they do in Afghanistan, Iraq or other distant locations. They confess their feelings of love for their targets. Then they ask the targets for money to pay for "leave requests," "communication fees," "transp …

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Surveys quantify lies and fraud on UK websites

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A survey British adults by a consumer campaigning charity found that 25% have used a dating site. Of them: 40% discovered fake profiles 20% were asked for money Another survey by 192.com of 2,000 people who created web profiles found: 10% faked their address 18% changed their age 28% lied ab out salary or debt 20% fabricated their profiles Online daters told to beware of 'romance fraud' on Telegraph.co.uk.     …

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How psychopaths use language to describe murder

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The language of diagnosed psychopaths in prison for murder reflected their personalities: selfish, detached from their crimes and emotionally flat, according to research by Jeff Hancock of Cornell University and colleagues. The investigators used sophisticated computerized text analysis to measure word usage as psychopathic and non-psychopathic murderers described their crimes. Psychopathic killers: Computerized text analysis uncovers the word patterns of a predator, on ScienceDaily.com. If you want to know more, the highly readable study is also available online. It contains a lot of great information. Hungry like the wolf: A word-pattern analysis of the language of psychopaths, on …

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