Finally, you realize what is wrong with your romantic partner: He or she is a sociopath. Finally, the behavior that was so confusing makes sense. The person you loved, and who you thought loved you, has a personality disorder. Now you realize that anything your partner told you could have been a lie. Now you know why your partner could be so cruel, then tell you how much he or she loved you, practically in the same breath. Now you realize that there never was any love, that your entire relationship was exploitation, and nothing more. Now what do you do? How do you move forward? How do you recover? Many of your friends and family tell you, "Just put it behind you. Get over it. Move …
Lovefraud Lesson #5: When sociopaths pretend to be your sudden soul mate
Perhaps, deep in our hearts, we always believed in "love at first sight." Then we met that person who seemed to be everything we ever wanted, and who felt the same way about us. It's destiny! We're soul mates! If this is what you're hearing, you may need to watch the newest Lovefraud video. …
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How our thoughts affect our lives
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7) I was watching the movie Iron Lady today and a few lines of the character Margaret Thatcher jumped out at me and made me think of that verse above from the Bible. Here are the lines from Mrs. Thatcher, as she was speaking with her physician. Watch your thoughts for they become words, Watch your words for they become your actions, Watch your actions For they become your habits Watch your habits for they become your character Watch your character for it becomes your destiny What we think we become. How many times do we prove those words, originally attributed to the ancient Chine …
Many shades of bad behavior
Last month I was in a law firm. Not because of a legal issue—I was there to discuss writing the content for their new websites. Two lawyers, who had been part of one firm, were setting up independent practices. One lawyer hired me. The other wasn't sure, so he wanted to meet me. A week later I learned that the second lawyer decided he would write his website himself. On Saturday, I was shocked to see a story in the local newspaper: The second lawyer, Seth A. Fuscellaro, who was also a public defender in Lower Township, New Jersey, was charged in a $15 million mortgage fraud scheme. The FBI actually arrested him in municipal court and escorted him out in handcuffs. The lawyer was one of …
Never too young to learn about sociopaths
A Lovefraud reader found the recent article about me and my new book, Red Flags of Love Fraud, in a Michigan newspaper. This was a surprise to me, because the article was originally published by a New Jersey newspaper, the Camden Courier Post. It turns out that the story was picked up around the country, which is good—it means word about these disordered individuals is getting out. This particular Lovefraud reader had her own run-in with a sociopath. She is teaching her children about them, which she related to me in a postscript of her email: P.S. My 12-year-old daughter and I were just discussing the article being in the paper she is very aware of sociopaths having been on the r …
How to get a degree in psychopathy
Sara Strudwick, author of Dark Souls, lays out a step-by-step plan for learning about psychopaths. Read: How to get a degree in psychology and psychopaths (the hard way!), on Darksouls-TheBook.com. …
Lovefraud Lesson #4 – Sensationalism and sociopaths
In the latest video of the Lovefraud Lessons series, Donna Andersen explains that what you learn about sociopaths on television is, at best, incomplete, and at worst, dangerous. Watch it here: Videos …
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UK law enables people to learn if their new partners are violent
It's called "Clare's Law," named for a woman who was murdered by her boyfriend, a man that she met on Facebook. Both men and woman in the UK will be able to ask police if their new intimate partners have a history of domestic violence. Read: Women will get right to ask for new boyfriends' police files under controversial Clare's Law initiative, on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
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“Personality disorder” as an excuse for criminal behavior
One of the good things about the conviction of Jerry Sandusky on almost all counts related to molesting 10 boys was that his lame personality disorder defense did not fly. Histrionic personality disorder? Huh? That was the prevailing reaction when defense attorneys claimed that the former Penn State assistant football coach wrote those "creepy" letters because he suffers from histrionic personality disorder. Read the creepy letters Several experts in personality disorders were quoted in news reports stating that even if Sandusky does have histrionic personality disorder, it would not be an excuse for the molestation. Why not? It's quite simple: Most people with personality …
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Sociopaths as aliens
Perhaps the hardest thing to comprehend, and accept, about sociopaths is just how different they are from the rest of us. I've spoken to hundreds of people who have tangled with sociopaths. Even when the mask has not only slipped, but shattered, even when they know the truth about what the sociopath has been doing all along, they still ask, "But how could he do it?" "He kept telling me how much he loved me; how could he cheat like that?" "He said we were soul mates; how can he just up and leave?" "How can he be so cold and calculating?" "How can he look me right in the eye and lie?" (Substitute "she" for "he" as necessary.) Then, the people I talk to start making statements like …