How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Brad Robinson: Is Your Home Bugged? Ten Warning Signs Of Covert Eavesdropping

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By Brad Robinson, Private Investigator People who are in a relationship with a sociopath, or who recently escaped from such a relationship, often get the feeling that their ex is watching them, listening to them, spying on them. This might be your imagination getting the best of you, but often these suspicions are correct. With the increasing online prevalence of readily available, inexpensive listening devices, spycams, phone taps, etc., and YouTube instructional videos on how to secretly install them, this is a growing threat to anyone who values their privacy. There are warning signs. Warning signs Here are a few that may be of use: People seem to know too much regarding your pri …

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Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW: The modus operandi of disordered partners

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By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, located in Bernardsville, New Jersey [I will use masculine pronouns for the destructive partner for the sake of simplicity, though destructive partners are often female.] There are a number of modus operandi a narcissistic or socio / psychopathic partner employs in a destructive relationship, as a response to your needs, complaints, or issues in the relationship. One is that you are kept off balance. You may be feeling desperate and alone a lot in the relationship because your partner has become more distant, disengaged, angry, and rejecting (sexually and/or emotionally). Perhaps he has even become abusive. But, if you complain too much or bring up suspicious …

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Stop Asking Yourself Why and What

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By Patricia Jackson When you live with a sociopath or psychopath (the difference will be the subject of a future article) you find yourself analyzing everything he (or she if you were unfortunate enough to be targeted by the fifteen per cent that are estimated to be female) says can be a source of endless analysis. The questions go something like this: 1) Why did he suddenly change? (Meaning why did he just go from being pleasant/kind/good/nice/reasonable to mean?) 2) What happened in his past that makes him act like this? 3) What did I say, do, fail to say, fail to do, that provoked him? 4) What if I do X. Y. Z? Or for that matter A. B. C. D. E. F. G. through W? (Maybe that will …

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Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide: Patricia Jackson, B.A., CAC III

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Lovefraud presents a series of Q&A articles with members of the Professional Resources Guide. Patricia Jackson is a Psychiatrist, psychologist and therapist, who specializes in depression, women's issues, parenting, legal abuse, anxiety, eating disorders, substance abuse, victim of injustice, isolation, and special needs of intuitives and artists. She also offers expert evaluation and court testimony on issues of abuse and psychological torture, victimization assessments, treatment recommendations and provision and substance abuse. Q. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? A. I have been personally an …

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Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide: Barbara Monett, LCSW

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Lovefraud presents a series of Q&A articles with members of the Professional Resources Guide. Barbara Monett is a clinical social worker in California specializing in therapy for individuals facing problems of addiction and/or codependency. Q. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? A. Professionally—I am trained as a clinical social worker and have also completed the Hendricks Coaching Program for Couples and Individuals in Ojai, CA., as well as numerous other related trainings on mindfulness, codependency recovery, substance abuse recovery. I have personally been involved with Alanon, Coda, AA for over …

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Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide: Norman Groot

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Lovefraud presents a series of Q&A articles with members of the Professional Resources Guide. Norman Groot is an attorney located in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Q. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? A. Our law firm, Investigation Counsel PC, has litigated various cases on behalf of victims of ”˜lovefraud.' In one case the victim was a gentleman with cerebral palsy who was scammed out of $800,000 by a woman who he met online. After approximately a year of courting, he proposed to her and she advised him that she was carrying his child. She was married at the time to a local drug dealer, and ulti …

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Was I ever loved?

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  By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW One of the most confusing things people grapple with during and after a relationship with a sociopath is wondering if any of the “love” was real. It's a total mind f---. You think of the beginning of the relationship in which your partner was the most romantic person you ever dated — how attentive he was. (I'll refer to male sociopaths, but they may be female as well.) He may have even been thoughtful and empathetic if you confided in him about someone or a situation troubling you in your life. He may have remembered each occasion with wonderful gifts. You remember times being part of family and friends as a couple, even when things started to get ba …

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BOOK REVIEW: Just Like His Father?

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Many of you who have been with a sociopath have had children with him/her.  I've heard a lot of sad and horrible stories from partners who are left with the fall-out of the damage done to the children.  The sociopath can be abusive, parentify the child into meeting his/her needs, or ally the child against the other parent, all of which are extremely damaging.  The child may also be exposed to chaos in the home, addiction, or divorce. If this weren't bad enough, the child of a sociopath will have half of his/her genes, making the child vulnerable to developing sociopath traits.  That is why Dr. Liane J. Leedom's book, Just Like His Father? is timely and of crucial …

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Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW: Blame your brain – brain science about optimism

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By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, located in Bernardsville, New JerseyI recently wrote about how partners of sociopaths tend to take responsibility when things go wrong in the relationship, figuring ways to make it better. We then blame ourselves for overlooking warning signs early on, and for not leaving immediately when we did see them. Sometimes we blame our childhoods for the vulnerabilities that made us caretakers who overlook and tolerate abusive or rejecting partners. Neuroscientists tell us that our behaviors are about 90% driven by our subconscious minds. That means 90% of what we are taking in from a person on a conscious level is being received by our subconscious minds, not our conscious …

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Soothing the inner child

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In the past few articles — and I hope this hasn't been confusing — I have tried to describe how we can help heal the damage to our self-esteem and recover our lost selves, while we are still with the sociopath or after we've left the sociopath. The most important thing is mindfulness; the awareness of what's going on in your body and mind in the presence of the sociopath. We get triggered and react emotionally to their manipulation, blame, abuse and dismissive behavior. In fact our brains and nervous systems get what is called “hijacked” by the emotional reaction, and our rational thinking is not available to us. The reaction makes us believe what we feel — e.g. we are wrong, we are lacking, …

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