Lovefraud Reader

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Angie19." I was involved with my narcissist for a little more than 11 years, for which 4-6 months out of each year he would discard me. The process would start out with him giving me enough rope to hang myself by pushing the buttons he knew would get me to say something he could later use to “play victim” and claim “it always comes back to this” or “why, every time, do we have to go thru this.” It would be followed up with the standard guilt trip, topped off by demeaning me, which he was very good at doing. He had a talent to be very hurtful with very few words. He would continue this beat-down unti …

The narcissist discarded me every year for 11 yearsRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Claudette19." I hope this letter explains to you all what I have been through and how I am still trying to recover from the impact. Dear ex Only by staying away from you did I begin to see your destructiveness and I had to detox from your trauma. For almost 4 years you projected all your anger from your past/present onto me. You did this by calling me a c**t b**h, throwing things at me, charging at me, hurting me, threatening to kill yourself, bullying me and breaking things. You were unpleasant, manipulative and you constantly lied to me. You told me you were the only person who knew how to love me, …

Letter to a sociopathic ex: You ruined meRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Marguerite2018." I spent over half my life with my now ex-husband. What I’m about to share is a glimpse, as I’m sure is the case for so many of us that have stories upon stories to share of the surreal experiences that we endured with our abusers. During the course of our relationship, from time to time, I became aware of what I believed was periodic cheating or affairs. We had been through marriage counseling a few times & after each incident, I forgave & assumed it was behind us. In between incidents, there was evidence of heavy porn use. He always hid these things & I always seemed to ac …

My husband’s sex addiction was just the beginning of his disorderRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "Lillian." I met him online. Dated casually for a year, during which time I met his sister who grows fruit & is married to a well-known doctor. I met his other sister who is a judge. I got to know his 21-year-old son who was graduating from college & gave him a job for a summer. I met his ex-wife. I met a childhood friend of his. He showed me portfolios of the homes he built or remodeled, I met a couple of his clients, & he drove me past a few homes. The next year we dated regularly & traveled all over the world. France, Greece, The Caribbean, Hawaii, San Diego, Seattle, NYC. We were …

My psychopath boyfriend stole all my money, bought a sailboat and tried to have me committedRead More

Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who posts as "raisingtwins" sent the following story. When I met my sociopath, he was good looking, fit, charismatic and career driven. In 2002, I moved across the country with him, since he was transferred back to an office with the company he worked for. We had a baby together in 2003 and he wanted nothing to do with getting married. I should have seen that as a giant red flag. He threw lavish parties for his work team and worked long hours. We married in 2005 and his behavior was always very erratic. His weight went up and down and his episodes of anger started getting progressively worse. It was a life of constantly walking on eggshells. In …

The sociopath led a double life and stopped paying the billsRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Arlene18. I have been married to him for 29+ years and we have three grown sons, who are all still in school. In Sept. 2016, I discovered he was leading a double life filled with prostitutes and stripper girlfriends. He admits to doing this for over 20 years, though it is probably longer than that. He made the boys take out student loans, and said we didn't have enough money to replace my decrepit old car — while spending insane amounts of money on his girlfriends in order to make them like him. Through the discovery, I tried having him in therapy to see if the marriage and family could be salvaged, b …

My husband was leading a double life of prostitutes and strippersRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Catherine18." Other names have been changed. I am writing this after a pretty hard day. I have them a lot these days. I’ve made it a habit to tell people that I'm fine or ok. Before that, before everyone knew what happened, I just smiled, laughed and was a pretend version of myself so that I wouldn’t let on what I was suffering. I learned to protect the person hurting me from my mother's abuse of me. I am 42, and I have never not been abused. Ever. I’m now being honest. I am saying I’m not ok. People don't help you when you finally get honest. I have been betrayed, abandoned, pitied and had people talk be …

I am overwhelmed with PTSD, stress, anxiety, fear, loss, betrayal and trying to save myselfRead More