Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gemma." I married my sociopath after a whirlwind long-distance relationship. He swept me off my feet, seemed to love everything I loved. He introduced me to his family, I found soon after he had been married three times before. He said he married his first wife because she was pregnant, his second to get her into the country (she was Columbian), and he married his third wife to give her a feeling of security. I later found out he had cheated on every one of them. He told me he loved me and had saved the best 'til last. Things were OK to begin with, then I started noticing his control. He would tell …
How to protect yourself from sociopathic charm
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a user whom we'll call "Fiona." I'm currently being discarded. He has someone else lined up already, I found that out by reading his cellphone. I have moved towns already and he may have been sleeping with other people on and off throughout our relationship. I have found “no contact” very difficult. However, I think after my last visit back to see him, I've reached a stage where the absolute pointlessness of it is impossible to ignore. I know he has never cared for me. I don't want to tell the details of my story, but rather to point out a couple of things that I've found to be lifelines out of this situation. I knew it was ba …
BOOK REVIEW: ‘Splitting’ – Critical help for divorcing a personality disordered husband or wife
SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells Review by James Sullivan, Ph.D. Advertised as “the legal and psychological advice you need,” this is an invaluable guide for those in the vulnerable position described by the title. This is a most readable book, the text supplemented with helpful charts and bulleted notes. The authors pay attention to the myths and realities of the courtroom and the “dynamics of persuasiveness.” They warn against thinking that judges will find the behavior of the PD (personality disordered) person obvious. In fact, th …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My story about a family of sociopaths, or, how I got bankrupted the gentleman way
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a Greek woman, whom we'll call "Alessia." Names have been changed. In Greece I had a quiet life. I kept living with my Greek husband on a small island, we had a small rented house and a cute doggie called Fiffi. In Greece I got baptized as an orthodox Christian and got a new first name “Alessia”. Everything was just great until the economic crisis hit the island seriously. We had to leave, so we decided to move to Germany. After a move in summer 2011, I desperately tried to find a job in Germany. My Greek husband did not speak any German by that time. Our marriage did not survive the move so we considered to have a divorce. Thi …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: A sociopath’s power over uninformed humans
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who calls herself, "Emotionallyraped." You meet him (or her). He is charming and kind and exciting. He takes an interest in you and you feel special. He studies you. He learns your likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. He becomes exactly who you want him to be. He mirrors you. He is a chameleon. He tells you things you want to hear. He is intense. He quickly declares his love for you. He talks about plans for the future. He convinces you that you are meant to be together. This love is like nothing else you've ever experienced. You are high with happiness. You feel sorry for other people who don't have the love …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The crazymaking type of sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from the reader who posts as "SoConfused." This is my story of living with someone that I believe could possibly be a sociopath. I am just not sure and just learning about this, so that is why I am searching for answers. First met years ago I met this guy through a friend that only knew of him as being a local police officer, but we met him out many years ago. The first time I met him we hit it off right away, after leaving the place we were at, he called me and we talked on the phone for hours. Felt good at the time, I had been single for a few years and raising kids alone so it felt good for someone to pay attention to me. We …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The crazymaking type of sociopathRead More
I was married to a pathological liar, manipulator, abuser, gaslighter and evil person
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Liliana." I married a pathological liar, manipulator, abuser, gaslighter, and evil person who breaks promises, lies directly into one's eyes for years on end, twist the truth, makes up complete falsehoods, accused ME of abuse, filed a report (unsubstantiated) with child services, accused ME of abusing myself(!), and accused me of a myriad of outrageous things, all to conceal what he really is. He nearly destroyed me. I loved him, or who I thought he was, and he left or was rather, court-ordered to get out, and he never looked back, except to try to achieve vengeance against me. He hasn't seen our …
I was married to a pathological liar, manipulator, abuser, gaslighter and evil personRead More
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Indian girl gets duped online
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we'll call "Adya." The con that I went through might not be one that would make headline lines with the elaborateness of it. In fact it was kind of petty and cheap. But the emotional damage it has done me has been significant. I am not the trusting carefree person I once was. And like many women and men here I ignored my instincts that's things was Not right. If I had listened to my gut, I would not be where I am emotionally. I was going through a very bad phase. I had just ended what I thought was going to be a wonderful relationship that was going to end up in marriage. We had ended it the worst way possible. I had …
From date rape to abuse and violence
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Soundra." I met my now ex boyfriend on an online dating site; he contacted me; he was very attractive to me. We texted each other a few times and then he invited me to meet him at his place and then we would go out for a drink. Everything seemed great. He was so nice and gave me compliments and paid for our evening out. We went back to his house to have a nightcap and he got me drunk. He tried to force himself on me. I told him that I was not interested in a one night stand that I wanted a relationship. He continued to try to get in my pants. I tried pushing him away but he overpowered me, pulled down …
Abusers are hiding behind S&M
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Bernadette." In early 2012, I met a self-described strong alpha male on a dating site. His background was very impressive a vice president at a large IT firm, author, beautiful home, appeared educated, wonderful sense of humor. He would draw you in, he was what I thought I was looking for, what I thought I needed. Our early phone conversations would last for hours and the text messaging was never ending. He was a protector, he would always be a gentleman, keep me safe, what girl would not want that. I fell for him, it seemed like love. What I thought was the best day of my life, became my hell. My …