How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I confronted him with what I learned, and was told I was a psychopath

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Editor's note: The following story was sent by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "CatieJane." I just finished reading a book about narcissists, written by a woman that in the book mentioned this site. I have now for several days, considered whether I should write here - and the reason I have doubts. Is that I still have doubts about whether it really is my ex or me that is "crazy" ”¦ I do not live in an English speaking country, I come from Denmark. So if I dont write proper English, I apologize in advance. My story ”¦ For 8 years I have been with my ex. 8 years that has been crazy. When I met him 8 years ago, he was this wonderful, loving, caring man. (Had never seen a man be so …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: With the sociopath, nothing made sense

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Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader who posts as "Remembertoforget." We met on Facebook, because we had mutual friends/acquaintances. I would see him comment on girls' posts. Funny because I deleted him thinking, I don't really know him. Why have him on here. He sooner or later re-friended me. ”¨I almost dodged a bullet. Perhaps my subconscience was one step ahead. I was depressed when I met him. Two friends had just passed away and I left my long-term boyfriend and was staying at my mom's. He would post stuff that attracted me, and one day I randomly messaged him. I never do that. SAD STORY: He had been upset because his children's mother had left hi …

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Her sociopathic husband: lies, cheating, pornography, burglary, and one day, she fears, revenge

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gemma." I married my sociopath after a whirlwind long-distance relationship. He swept me off my feet, seemed to love everything I loved. He introduced me to his family, I found soon after he had been married three times before. He said he married his first wife because she was pregnant, his second to get her into the country (she was Columbian), and he married his third wife to give her a feeling of security. I later found out he had cheated on every one of them. He told me he loved me and had saved the best 'til last. Things were OK to begin with, then I started noticing his control. He would tell …

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How to protect yourself from sociopathic charm

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a user whom we'll call "Fiona." I'm currently being discarded. He has someone else lined up already, I found that out by reading his cellphone. I have moved towns already and he may have been sleeping with other people on and off throughout our relationship. I have found “no contact” very difficult. However, I think after my last visit back to see him, I've reached a stage where the absolute pointlessness of it is impossible to ignore. I know he has never cared for me. I don't want to tell the details of my story, but rather to point out a couple of things that I've found to be lifelines out of this situation. I knew it was ba …

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BOOK REVIEW: ‘Splitting’ – Critical help for divorcing a personality disordered husband or wife

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SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells Review by James Sullivan, Ph.D. Advertised as “the legal and psychological advice you need,” this is an invaluable guide for those in the vulnerable position described by the title. This is a most readable book, the text supplemented with helpful charts and bulleted notes. The authors pay attention to the myths and realities of the courtroom and the “dynamics of persuasiveness.” They warn against thinking that judges will find the behavior of the PD (personality disordered) person obvious. In fact, th …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My story about a family of sociopaths, or, how I got bankrupted the gentleman way

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a Greek woman, whom we'll call "Alessia." Names have been changed. In Greece I had a quiet life. I kept living with my Greek husband on a small island, we had a small rented house and a cute doggie called Fiffi. In Greece I got baptized as an orthodox Christian and got a new first name “Alessia”. Everything was just great until the economic crisis hit the island seriously. We had to leave, so we decided to move to Germany. After a move in summer 2011, I desperately tried to find a job in Germany. My Greek husband did not speak any German by that time. Our marriage did not survive the move so we considered to have a divorce. Thi …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: A sociopath’s power over uninformed humans

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who calls herself, "Emotionallyraped." You meet him (or her). He is charming and kind and exciting. He takes an interest in you and you feel special. He studies you. He learns your likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. He becomes exactly who you want him to be. He mirrors you. He is a chameleon. He tells you things you want to hear. He is intense. He quickly declares his love for you. He talks about plans for the future. He convinces you that you are meant to be together. This love is like nothing else you've ever experienced. You are high with happiness. You feel sorry for other people who don't have the love …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The crazymaking type of sociopath

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from the reader who posts as "SoConfused." This is my story of living with someone that I believe could possibly be a sociopath. I am just not sure and just learning about this, so that is why I am searching for answers. First met years ago I met this guy through a friend that only knew of him as being a local police officer, but we met him out many years ago. The first time I met him we hit it off right away, after leaving the place we were at, he called me and we talked on the phone for hours.  Felt good at the time, I had been single for a few years and raising kids alone so it felt good for someone to pay attention to me. We …

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I was married to a pathological liar, manipulator, abuser, gaslighter and evil person

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Liliana." I married a pathological liar, manipulator, abuser, gaslighter, and evil person who breaks promises, lies directly into one's eyes for years on end, twist the truth, makes up complete falsehoods, accused ME of abuse, filed a report (unsubstantiated) with child services, accused ME of abusing myself(!), and accused me of a myriad of outrageous things, all to conceal what he really is. He nearly destroyed me. I loved him, or who I thought he was, and he left or was rather, court-ordered to get out, and he never looked back, except to try to achieve vengeance against me. He hasn't seen our …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Indian girl gets duped online

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we'll call "Adya." The con that I went through might not be one that would make headline lines with the elaborateness of it. In fact it was kind of petty and cheap. But the emotional damage it has done me has been significant. I am not the trusting carefree person I once was. And like many women and men here I ignored my instincts that's things was Not right. If I had listened to my gut, I would not be where I am emotionally. I was going through a very bad phase. I had just ended what I thought was going to be a wonderful relationship that was going to end up in marriage. We had ended it the worst way possible. I had …

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