We tend to speak of sociopaths versus non-sociopaths in pretty much either-or terms, despite recognizing that we fall along a spectrum of behaviors and attitudes that range from extremely unself-centered (even to self-sabotaging levels, reflecting poor self-esteem and weak self-protective defenses); to levels we would describe as dangerously exploitive (moving into the range of full-blown sociopathic personality, characterized by a troubling indifference to, and disregard of, others as separate human beings whose dignity deserves to be respected). At bottom, as I have elsewhere written and stressed, the sociopath is a remorseless, chronic boundary violator; his regard for others' dignity …
Do Sociopaths Get The Last laugh?
We know that there are many unapprehended sociopaths who, exploiting others' vulnerability, have greedily taken things from them, material and otherwise—valuable, precious things they neither deserve nor deserve to enjoy, yet which they may feel they both deserve and deserve to enjoy, and often perversely do enjoy. And we know that many of these sociopaths possess smug, contemptuous and notoriously “shameless” attitudes about their exploitation—these attitudes, and the patterns they form, reflecting the essence of their disorder. And some of these sociopaths may indeed, in a certain sense, get the proverbial “last laugh?” Picture the sociopath lying on a Carribbean beach, or lounging …
Sociopaths Going Backwards
Sociopaths rarely go forward with their lives with reliable, sustainable momentum; at best, they may zig-zag for a while with the good (and bad) luck of a gambler; or go sidways for a while, “seeming” to hold it together. But eventually, the sociopath tends to go backwards. He is much like the person on a high-speed treadmill who, no mattter how hard he or she walks or runs, finds himself, sooner or later, drifting off the end of the machine. His disordered lack of empathy, detachment from others, detachment from an emotional connection to the world that keeps the rest of us on fairly solid ground, giving us at least a chance to hit solid ground, and hit it running—the sociopath is miss …
Letter to a sociopath
I write you this letter to explain something to you. You have a serious personality disorder whose very symptoms, paradoxically, may leave you unaware that you have it. Or”¦you may be “aware” of your disorder in an “intellectual” sense but, consequent to your disorder, you lack appropriate alarm and shame over its expression. People who do not have your disorder, if they were told they had it (and of its nature), would feel extremely unnerved, shamed, to hear this feedback. You, on the other hand, neither feel, nor react, with expected levels of uneasiness to learn of your disorder. Your reactions, expressing either calm indifference and striking unperturbedness, or, alternatively, …
The Sociopath as “The Missing Link?”
Is it possible that the sociopath is, in a sense, the missing link? Who is he? He is human but, in another sense, not quite human. Much like the Neandarthals, who were humans but not quite homo sapiens, and whom you'd have had a hard time differentiating from homo sapiens in a crowd, the sociopath may mix in seamlessly with the more fully developed human race. Meaning, like the Neandarthal race of humans, he isn't noticeably different, at least not by appearances, from his fellow homo sapiens. And yet he is different”¦he is missing something. There is something primitive and underdeveloped in him. This is a very crude analogy, admittedly. Neandarthals weren't more sociopath than their f …
Dumb Sociopaths
Contrary to a prevailing myth, sociopaths are really no smarter than the average individual”¦probably dumber. Sure, a good one can dupe you, but as I've written elswhere, this is no great shakes, as most of us can dupe each other if that's our goal. That's because we enter relationships risking trust and faith in each other, which makes the exploitation of our trust and faith really easy. It takes no genius or particularly smart, crafty person to exploit this trust and faith. It's as easy to do as it's wrong. And so, most sociopaths aren't really that clever, or ingeniously bright. Most make messes not only of others' lives, but their own too. Many end up in jail, and those who don't ar …
Sitting with the sociopathic client
Sitting with an antisocial or sociopathic client is an interesting experience—for a while, anyway, until it grows tedious”¦almost boring. There is the initial curiosity about, and fascination with, the client's antisocial behaviors”¦their nature”¦breadth. Perhaps there's even a certain rubbernecking interest in the train-wreck of moral turpitude these clients present—with their staggering patterns of ethical and moral debaseness. Admittedly, it can be breathtaking, on certain levels, to behold the magnitude of their abuse of others' boundaries and dignity, accompanied by missing feelings of accountability and remorse. And the interest in the experience with such clients persists a bit l …
Lack of remorse more significant of sociopathy than lack of empathy?
Sometimes I like to revisit, churn all over again, a prior concern around sociopathy. A number of colleagues were recently stressing the defective quality of empathy in the more sociopathic clients they work with, while I found myself stressing the quality of remorselessness in the more sociopathic clients with whom I work (and have worked). In my view, remorselessness is a much more serious indicator of sociopathy than lack of empathy per se. I know I've stated this in previous pieces, but well”¦here I go all over again. Many people lack empathy for a great many reasons, depending on how one even defines empathy. But clearly this is true—many of us have a relatively difficult time emot …
Lack of remorse more significant of sociopathy than lack of empathy?Read More
The serial killer and the scam telemarketer? Cousins? Or brothers of a different species?
Let's compare sociopathic types and ask ourselves what, if anything, they share in common? How deeply related, deeply connected, is their sociopathy? Are they close cousins, blood brothers or, perhaps, brothers altogether of a different species? Let's compare the classic, mythical sociopath, the serial killer—whose violent predations have been widely documented, if not sensationalized, in the media—with the arguably less glamorous, more insidious sociopathic type, the scamming telemarketing sociopath who fleeces senior citizens of their assets? What do these personalities have in common and where, perhaps, do we find divergences between them? Let's begin with what we might argue the …
The serial killer and the scam telemarketer? Cousins? Or brothers of a different species?Read More
Looking For Rage In All The Wrong Places
When individuals are jealous-fueled, what is happening? One thing that's happening is that they are often looking for rage, looking to rage, in all the wrong places. So this is important to establish up-front: The jealous-laden individual is using his jealousy as a basis to unleash his stewing rage. He is using jealousy as a means to feel rage; to feel outrage; to feel, somehow, self-righteously betrayed; and finally, to justify (through his jealousy) his pursuit of these feelings. Thus, he is looking, contriving, convincing himself that the basis of his fury is legitimately, suspiciously, here”¦or there!!”¦or there!!”¦or here!!”¦or over there!! Regardless, he will find the basis for …