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Looking For Rage In All The Wrong Places

When individuals are jealous-fueled, what is happening? One thing that’s happening is that they are often looking for rage, looking to rage, in all the wrong places.

So this is important to establish up-front: The jealous-laden individual is using his jealousy as a basis to unleash his stewing rage. He is using jealousy as a means to feel rage; to feel outrage; to feel, somehow, self-righteously betrayed; and finally, to justify (through his jealousy) his pursuit of these feelings.

Thus, he is looking, contriving, convincing himself that the basis of his fury is legitimately, suspiciously, here”¦or there!!”¦or there!!”¦or here!!”¦or over there!!

Regardless, he will find the basis for his suspicions whenever it suits him—whenever, that is, he seeks a rage catharsis through his jealousy. From his suspicions, he will immediately rationalize the rapid escalation, and release, of his righteous indignation, which he will almost instantly transmute into expressions of jealous rage.

In his rage, you (his target) will naturally be declared guilty even without his having informed you of the accusations against you. It’s almost as if, in his arrogant grandiosity and sense of entitlement, you barely deserve to know the accusations he’s leveling.

After all, you should know them without his having to inform you, because you are guilty of them!! Who are you kidding?! Who are you trying to dupe, playing the innocent?!!

In such fashion he ratchets up, equally rapidly, his paranoia, convincing himself that you are weaving a real deception, really making a joke of him, the thought of which further primes his paranoia and escalates his self-justified fury.

To be sure, you are guilty of something treacherous. He knows it, he’s convinced himself of it. He believes that you too, of course, know it, but just don’t want him to know it. So he assumes a kind of paranoid omniscience. He is soooo smart, way toooo smart to be had; thus, you must be patronizing him with your innocent, shellshocked reaction.

As if he is going to fall for the pretense of your bewilderment? To the contrary: it will merely makes him legitimately more incensed.

And so the jealous rager, consciously or subconsciously, in conformity with his aim, puts you in a lose lose position: admit what he accuses you of (that is, falsely confess), and even more hell will break loose! Tell the truth, of your actual innocence, and more hell will break loose!

You are like the suspect in the interrogation room on whom he, the interrogator, in his smug conviction, believes he has all the evidence; like the suspect with whom he is toying as he watches you (from his warped perspective), and derives a perverse pleasure in watching you, try to squirm your way out of the guilty, damned status he has arrogantly, smugly stamped you with.

The jealous rager, in this fashion, will enjoy, perversely, the process of (from his warped perspective) watching you dig yourself deeper and deeper in a hole that he has made for you, that he set you up to fall into, and then assured that it will have all the escapability of a quicksand pit.

Rather, it is a pit into which, from his warped perspective, he watches you sink little by little, lie by lie, evasion by evasion, omission by omission, inconsistency by inconsistency, into his “doghouse,” or really his “hell-house,” inside of which he will slam the door shut, bar your escape, and menacingly confront you, seething with the self-righteous fury of the betrayed, entitling himself to “payback” for the treachery of which you, of course, innocent, in the abusive forms he chooses.

This sheds some light, perhaps, into the mind of the jealous rager.

(This article is copyrighted © 2010 by Steve Becker, LCSW. My use of male gender pronouns is for convenience’s sake and not to suggest that females aren’t capable of the attitudes and behaviors discussed.)


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137 Comments on "Looking For Rage In All The Wrong Places"

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Steve,
You have spoken to a situtation that I encountered last evening. I could see, feel and smell the inward rage a person had for me last evening. I did not engage HER! I knew on some level that she had a target on my back. I refused to acknowledge her behavior.
As I was lying in bed last night I began to think about this very subject. This woman and I had been close and I knew she had a short fuse, I had on occasion ask her “why” she thought such and such. Her answer was always the same. ” I just know”. Know what? I don’t get it. The forum here has helped me see clearly these twisted thoughts that some people have. I went totally grey rock on her, which of course made her more paninored (sp?). I am just absolutely not going to play the game. In the past I might have called her and made nice not now not ever—it’s not worth it.
Steve I am also thinking about another article here can’t remember(swiss cheese brain) if it is yours or someone else-the jest of it is a reality check and shifting our thinking about long held believes. I did MOST; and I say MOST because I am now shifting more, of my shifting in my early 20’s. Although at times I have asked different people from different walks of life why they beleive in a certain idea or situtaion and I almost always get the same answer “that’s the way it’s always been”. I find this incredibily lazy thinking. It is so difficult for indiviuals to have a paradim shift unless something tragic happens, and sometime not even then, even if it will make their lives better and less toxic. It almost like telling the world that the earth is round but they insist that it is flat. To do otherwise would shatter their whole believe system. Make their lives up to that point NOT REAL hell it’s real for sure but it can change without it being the end of the world as we know it. This is true in politics it dosen’t matter if you are republican, democrat, liberal or conservative or pink. It’s all designed to keep us in check. If I don’t have to think about it, it doesn’t hurt me. I see this problem in my own family. IT IS THIER REALITY!!!! how ever worped it is. Just cannot make the diconnect it would be to painful to realize that what they thought is green is now red.
I’m sorry if I am rambling–it makes sense to me anyway and I get it out of my system .
Thank you for the Post—
I read more that I post here. There are many here that are of great help to others.
Again a big thank you for your time and energy to Post this article. It came when I needed it as most things do when we open ourselves up to recieve what we need and not what we think we want. Hope you have a Blessed Day. Seeing Clearly
Stay Strong Stay Safe and Stay Sane

Yup. Mine followed me all through the house one day, screaching and accusing at the top of his lungs that he just knew I was cheating on him because he found a kleenex in the waste basket with lip stick blotted on it. I always wore lipstick, but on that day, it was evidence I was cheating.

Even at that time, however, I knew he was just looking for something to vent his rage on.

I would go out of my way to make sure he didn’t feel jealous, or suspiciousabout anything. Drastically changed my life-style. He would still accuse and start arguements.
He had an uncanny ability to KNOW where I had been, who I had spoken to, and even though it was innocent, he would imply guilt. Creepy. When it came right down to it, though, I don’t even think he REALLY WAS jealous. It had no real depth. I think it was control for the sake of control. Plain and simple…and it worked like a charm.

And then, on the other hand, he would play head-games to make me feel insecure and to get a reaction out of me, like openly flirting with someone else, in front of me. He was really good at messing with my sence of confidence in myself. So absolutely incapable of caring how anyone else felt…But very good at knowing just what to do to make them suffer.

The cheating accusations were also a projection, since he WAS cheating. But he knew that I was loyal and like you, Kim, I went out of my way to make sure he knew that.

That doesn’t mean he wasn’t jealous though. He was jealous of ME. There was so much envy. He even envied my loyalty to him, my ability to love HIM. So when he raged pretending he was jealous, the only pretension was what he was jealous about.

one/joy_step_at_a_time

good morning kim and sky – i posted on another thread this morning, about projections.

the spath always projected that others were stalking one or all of the characters she created. ad freaking nauseum. this gave her lots of excuses for raging.

one of the characters expressed jealousy of my relationship with the other. another excuse to rage.
and some of the characters (and she always does this in her cons) would rant about how whoever the dupe de jour was, was on the outside, that they had closed ranks against her (by and large the dupes are women), as they had to ‘protect’ the vulnerable from the mean, manipulative, predatory dupe.

oh yah, she’s all about herself.

Skylar,
I hear ya girl—I’ve experienced that on a business level so many times. People pat you on the back and at the same time give you a shank in the kidneys. It’s hard to fathom what their thought process is.
There is a difference in “I want to be like you” and “I want to be you”. I have never wanted to be anyone other than myself, Howrever there are plenty of people I would like to emulate their finer qualities in a way to make me a better person.
I had a woman a few years back tell me she wanted to be friends with me. I asked her why? Her reply: You have everything I want. whoa whoa and whoa. Have never talked to her again. Scary stuff!!!! and from a complete stranger.
And I wasn’t all that sucessful at that time. I wondered at the time what she wanted that I have. My joy, my passion, my love of family and life. People are envious even on a smaller scale. Go figure. Can’t figure out or do the work necessary to claim their own life, so they take yours, how very very sad.
Stay Strong Stay Safe and Stay Sane

Steve
It is your article that I am referring to in my above post–the one “Is He A Narcissist?”
It’s like teaching someone a foriegn language. You hear the words but the accent is wrong. Sort of like a New Yorker talking to Canjun from LA. O as in Umbrella. Did I hear you right? Double speak and no substance.
A company I worked for many years ago ask employee to come up with ideas on how to promote a certain product that they want to take to market. A female employee gave this 5 min presentation of the product. You could see the disconnect on everyones faces b/c she never really told what the product was or how it would be used. Someone ask: so what’s your point? Answer: what I just said. huh!!! the product never went to market and today I still don’t know what it was we were trying to promote. Telling isn’t it? Confuse enough people with bs and they’ll think you’re a genius. Keeping it REAL!!

Kim – Skylar.

The jealousy (by spath) is true. Where have you been to til now? Who was there? What time will you be home? Will you be home for dinner?

Jealous of my kids, phone calls, dog you name it he was jealous of it!

Now on the other hand….he would openly flirt with any female, look at porn (found him out) to pleasure himself, have secret messages on his phone, chat to women on msn, have a second email address (for his eyes only) etc,,,,,,,,,,

So it was ‘ok’ for him to do all of these things!!! but heaven forbid if we should. Well he can go swivel 🙂

Then again the jealousy of an spath isn’t so much out of love ( as it is with normal people ) but sort of a “you are an extension of me, IE : my property, my object and it should remain that way”

( In fact in that respect, I wouldn’t even necessarily call it jealousy. Jealousy the word to me, implies as if there’s some passion involved. There’s no passion involved with an S, this “jealousy” concept we are trying to put our finger on is no more than “not wanting to share his toys with other people” … yes, I think that would be most true to the reality )

So much as TALKING and joking around with a guy was construed as flirting.. but he didn’t rage about it, just mentioned it passive aggressively ( this was about 2-3 months into the involvement ). “He seemed like he liked you.” ( For giving a guy a high five ) Although the joking was out of genuine camaraderie, and very short-lived ( an 2-3 minute exchange ) Funny how that is.. because he would call ME jealous when I would find out about him taking girls out and sleeping with them all whilst lying to me and calling me crazy for it. Then again we’re talking about sociopaths, so I don’t suppose you’d expect anything close to normal anyhow. Ah yes, down in the rabbit hole, like always.

And if I joked around with his acquaintance ( ie : had a good laugh.. i refuse to use the word friend cause they don’t have any real friends. This guy always kind of seemed a bit put upon, like demands wise by the S. ) he would later lie to me and tell me that his acquaintance said something negative about me ( Such as they were leaving cause I was too drunk.. of course he admitted to lying later.. but only because I was angry and about to be unglued )

Another acquaintance of his added me on facebook after meeting me, and the S asked me “did he message you” ( As if it’s any of his business?” then goes,”He asked me if he could add you.. cause he knows that i like you.” ( who “Asks” their friend if they could add someone? That’s pretty fishy to me. ))

Kim said, “I would go out of my way to make sure he didn’t feel jealous, or suspicious about anything. Drastically changed my life-style. ”

Yeah, same. Almost hypersensitively about intuiting it. On the otherhand, the S would shamelessly go around taking women out ( and although he did make attempts to hide it, there were pretty damning pieces of evidence.. including a girl’s online journal ) and whenever I’d get upset he would say preposterous things like ” I can’t have a jealous girlfriend” ( notice the word he uses “HAVE” like i’m some possession .. not a person with thoughts or feelings ) you’re crazy, etc etc ( I think everyone here has heard the same verbage of garbage before )

It’s an interesting/important thing you touch upon Steve, this expectation of “immediate compliance”.. my gut feelings regarding having these sorts of things imposed on me were pretty strong & visceral. It’s almost as if they expect you to act a certain way ( blank, faceless, thoughtless, and simply do as they say ) and if you “act out of this projected behavior” you are punished for it.

( IE : you’re supposed to “ACT” like the accessory you are, not be having meaningful conversations with other people.. which takes away from the S’ glory, challenging his delusions as to his being the center of the universe )

Dancingnancys, yes to all above. Especially the part about telling you what someone said about you. Mine did that all the time. Usually it wasn’t true…So I would ask someone if she said that about me in front of him and she would say no.
It is just another aspect of their spathiness. It is designed to under-mine your sense of security, seperate you from any support you might have, make you doubt your ability to judge charictar, make you feel unlovable, increase your dependancy on him, and just generally hurt you and make you suffer.
He also loved drama. He could walk into a room full of people, say a few words to stir the s–t between a couple of them, get some friction started, and then leave.
He used to accuse me of doing, or wanting to do everybody…his brother, his BIL, all of his friends…but he never said anything to any of them…ever. He’d wait til we were alone and accuse me. What a coward.

Steve – great article . I can’t relate to the jealous raging myself – he only told me “I love you so much – don’t you ever cheat on me .” Gosh – I thought – WOW – he really does love me.

Hmmm- now look who cheated on who.

But I see some not so subtle jealousy in my friends’ new relationship and it concerns me greatly. Very controlling , always showing up at the house without notice , compromising most of her free time – even asking where all the paper towels went – IN HER HOUSE !! Scares me a bunch but she’s ignoring it all to avoid feeling alone.

Somehow – my gut tells me this guy is a boatload of trouble coming down the road and I think it’s all going to escalate as time goes on.

I think I’ll e-mail your articles to her – maybe seeing red flags in writing -especially your writing – will push her into reality.

She even leaves this dude alone with her daughters after only a few months of dating – now that’s where I do tell her she is too trusting . Sorry – if my own experiences have tainted my framework so be it – but I’d rather be cautious than wrong where my kids are concerned.

Great article Steve!

This “jealous raging” doesn’t just have to be used only for sexual jealousy. If we have other friends, the psychopath or the Borderline PD will RAGE at us for giving them attention…rage at us for spending time with friends and family, see conspiracies behind their back at work, accuse us of cheating them in business transactions. I think these “jealousy-induced” rages are part and parcel of the personality disordered M.O. It is part of the “you are worse than I am” accusations if you confront them with their own cheating or bad behavior as well.

seeingclearly said

” It is so difficult for indiviuals to have a paradim shift unless something tragic happens, and sometime not even then, even if it will make their lives better and less toxic. It almost like telling the world that the earth is round but they insist that it is flat. To do otherwise would shatter their whole believe system. Make their lives up to that point NOT REAL hell it’s real for sure but it can change without it being the end of the world as we know it.”

yes. what you said reminds me of the facilitated communication incident a few years back. People claimed that people with profound mental retardation and autism could communicate, they just needed someone to assist them in doing so. This was based on believing there was a high amount of dyspraxia, or difficulty with executive motor movement involved with these conditions ( autism, mental retardation ) , so perhaps if they could somehow assist these individuals, they would be in essence, “helping them to voice their thoughts”.
Everyone was in awe because suddenly these autistic people/ mentally retarded individuals suddenly possessed the ability to write emotive poetry, some remarking on how trapped they’ve felt unable to speak … long passages of prose with impeccable grammar and use of vocabulary beyond their years
Then a situation arose where some of the “facilitated communication assisters” would accuse the parents of the mentally retarded/autistic child, of child/sexual abuse… because “look what he/she wrote”. This stirred up a lot of controversy… but eventually most of the allegations were proven to be false, and none of such could be verified… still this did not convince some staunch supporters of F.C. to stand by their allegations and words.

Facilitated Communication, Image : http://www.operationsunshine.org/assets/images/Eve_with_Margaret_Facilitated_Communication.jpg

There was then a double blind study conducted on facilitated communication. The experimenters would show the autistic/mentally retarded individual one image, and the facilitated communication assister another. They were presented two separate images and neither knew of what image was presented to the other. They then asked the facilitated communicator assister to assist the individual in writing what they saw. The results of the study were shocking… not once did the affected individual ( autistic/mentally retarded) get the words right. In fact, with each test, the only words that were ever written by the many affected individuals in the study were of the image that the facilitated communication assister saw. There was not one exception. It was all a fluke.

( And although it may be hard to believe, there are STILL people today that refuse to acknowledge that F.C. has no merit even with the overwhelming amount of evidence as to it’s lack of validity. )

So you might understand how the results of this study came to affect those who had been harping and preaching about facilitated communication for years… these assisters felt as if they’d been robbed. It’s like telling a child that Santa Claus isn’t real. Their whole world view had been shattered and what had initially fueled their sense of purpose in life, were apparently done in vain. The sexual abuse allegations went quiet and those assisters simply did not carry on their allegations after the study, instead slipping noiselessly into the background. It was they themselves perhaps unconsciously writing all those things this whole time, when they believed they were somehow helping these people… they weren’t.

I suppose most of us are familiar with this complete shattering of our world view in our experiences with the S/N/Ps. Where we once believed that there was good in each person, where we believed that bad people always get caught, that if we always “did the right thing” then nothing bad would come our way… these are all beliefs of which FAILED us.

On a greater scale this would be more difficult to digest. Yes *we* are aware of this because we have the tragic and painful anecdote of having experienced this “reality” first hand. To us, this knowledge is unequivocal. To others, it is more comfortable to believe that the world is a good place, a safe place, and one need not worry about falling prey to an S/N/P as it can be likened more to a greek myth than something you might catch on the 5 o’ clock news. It is that ignorance which leaves people prey to psychopaths, and sadly the clinging to this ignorance which ultimately might be seen as to why psychopathy is not seen as an imminent issue today and why education regarding it is lacking. This is what needs to change.

Dancingnancies,

That is a great example of how some people can actually “believe” things that are NOT true….and I think some of these facilitators actually believed what they were “channeling” from the MR/autistic Patients.

I had totally forgotten about this and had read about the “discovery” of this (pseudo) “communication” and then the debunking of it.

It is sort of like the deal with autism being caused by vaccines. The physician who “proved this” is a (fake) “study” was debunked and lost his license in the US and in the UK–he apparently did this “study” to show the MMR vaccine was no good because he had invented another vaccine and thought he would become rich if the current vaccine were no longer used and his was.

Yet, there are still people who FIGHT hard against the vaccination of children which has been repeatedly proven to save lives! No amount of “truth” will convince these WELL MEANING people that what they believe is false.

I have for decades tried to convince both friends and patients that a flu vaccine SAVES LIVES but so many people think that the flu vaccine can “give you the flu” when it is NOT POSSIBLE for this to happen, but because it isn’t something that you can see or hold in your hand, no amount of “verbal proof” will convince them to get a flu shot.

You are so right when you say (quote) “It is that ignorance which leaves people prey to psychopaths, and sadly the clinging to this ignorance which ultimately might be seen as to why psychopathy is not seen as an imminent issue today and why education regarding it is lacking. This is what needs to change. “

my ex thought I was cheating and had put a ‘spy’ device on my computer. I didn’t realize what he did until after I kicked him out. No wonder when I ‘cleared’ my history it looked weird. He didn’t find anything, but he WAS SPYING ON ME AND USING MY COMPUTER when he was not contributing a Cent to my bills.

The Nerve…bastard.

Jazzy;
Did he install spyware on your computer too?

EB, how is the snow situation in your area, are you really getting 10 ft. of snow? I thought you were kidding til I saw the news and national weather tonight! WOW!!! You need to learn to migrate with the birds, sista!

Remember the story about the bird that decided NOT to migrate? All his friends told him he was a fool and flew off and left him. Sure enough it snowed and he was freezing to death! Then a cow came by and shat upon him—and the warm manure made him warm and he looked around and there were grains of corn in the manure and he ate them and he was WARM AND FILLED with FOOD, so he started to sing, and as he sang a CAT heard him and came by and swiped the cow shiat off him and ate him!

The moral of the story is: 1) Not everyone who shiats on you is your enemy 2) not everyone who takes shiat off you is your friend and 3) IF YOU ARE WARM AND WELL FED, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! LOL ROTFLMAO

Every time it snows here I think about that little birdie and every time it does NOT snow here in the winter time I am GRATEFUL FOR SMALL FAVORS!!!!

Jazzy,
Good to see you here! Enjoy your bite to eat. Once I discovered the mask, I got out of there before I could search for tracking devices. Remember, I was in HIS house. I think he felt too secure to do that, he thought he had me for good. I think he in a paranoid state spent more time covering up his internet porno tracks than he did tracking me… he knew what i stood for and against and didn’t have anything to worry about but his own behavior and covering it up!!! AGGGGG horrible, spaths….. why can’t they just fall off the earth? Look at all the pain and chaos caused by these genetic rejects!
Soimnotthecrazee1!

EB,
Do you need me to send you a snorkle to be able to breathe and get air above the snow?? LOLOL Again, I don’t know how you do it!
I love your ADAMANT article! Thanks again! Did you get his story yet?
Soimnotthecrazee1!

OH My~! I miss you all so much. There are time’s I need to blog, times when I have insight’s to share or in need of my understanding friends. I am doing well, wish you all a merry holiday season..no computer at home, not missing it as much as I thot i would, just this place and the good people here….

Hugs Hens!!!!
Happy Holidays to you too! We miss you more than you miss your computer!!! LOLOL
ntcrze1

Wow. Hens! You MUST fix computer problems. You are so needed and wanted. Hope your holiday is as blessed as you make me feel.

Dear Henry,

Merry Towanda to you darlink! Love and miss you sooooo much! Saturday night part-tays are not as much fun without you! ((((hugs)))) your twisted sister! Oxy

one/joy_step_at_a_time

Merry Towanda Henry! And a spath free new year!!!

Hens, wishing you a clear sighted, spath free, peaceful holiday season. Miss you bunches! You’re the cats pajamas!

Hens,
wtf is wrong with your computer? Anything I can do to help? Can I find you a part that’s free after rebate?
we miss you!

one/joy_step_at_a_time

oh sky, you funny!

One,
I’m serious! I want Hens back. all this estrogen needs balance. plus I just miss his, “oh my!” it’s so sweet.

one/joy_step_at_a_time

well, if you’d like me too, i could ramp up my testosterone and be more butch. 🙂

one/joy_step_at_a_time

i don’t think hens really wants to come back sky. i think he needs some time not online.

LOL!
ramp up!
just kidding, you know what I mean. LOL. you are funny!
I love that we have so many different types of people here. I’ve learned so much.
I used to have a “closet” gay male friend who I considered my “best” friend for about 10 years. But when the shit hit the fan, I realized that my P had gotten to him. Had convinced him that he was gay and that together, they had “played” me, which I, of course deserved, for being “weak” and straight. They can con ANYONE.
That’s the beauty of LF. We can no longer be conned. The people here have been vaccinated. They are the only people in my life that I trust and I’VE NEVER EVEN MET ANY OF THEM.
How amazing is that?

Hens….I second ALL the miss you’s above!
Glad to hear your doing well. I hope we get you back one day soon!
Oh my!
Have a Merry Christmas….I trust you’ll be with the G. kids.

XXOO
EB

one/joy_step_at_a_time

i am so sorry for that sky – that’s a big loss. queers can be easier to play – we often have more unmet needs and fewer possibilities for meeting them.

i do hope i have been vaccinated. i need to find my legs in the world again. i have so much healing to do.

i walked part of the way home tonight, it was so beautiful out – so crisp and cold, i just love it. the choir i joined and had to quit had a carol sing at a pub tonight, so i went for an hour and walked home.

Hey, hens baby, I miss you too, HEAPS!!
have a wonderful Xmas.Love, gemXX

Oxy….HOLY SHIAT!
We just got home….had to check on a clients house….Power’s out.
So I decorated in the dark. I always try to do things different each time they come up…..YEAH….this might be even different than I imagined. 🙂
We’ll see.
YEP….we are getting snnnnoooooooooow! TONS!
Power outages, Winds, Snow and BEARS!
So….Jr and I get home, quick stop…..run in grab something and leave again….We drive into driveway and my trash is knocked over…..Hmmm must have been the 130 mile an hour winds……tell jr, get out and pick up trash can, he motions to me to come here…..check this out mom.
I get out…..and there are HUGE footprints in the snow….
Now, talk about being a MORON….EB must have frozen her mind……
Duh, the tracks are fresh…..duh its’ snowing hard, so that must mean thebear is STILL HERE???!?!?!?!
Never crossed my mind….then I realize….OH NO……I didn’t have enough room in my fridges for ALL the food I ever so organized, went down early to buy off the mountain yesterday….and I bought 2 gals eggnog, 2 gal milk, 1 gal 1/2 and 1 gal heavy cream….and put it in the cooler and left it ouside the garage door…..MORON!
Bears don’t HIBERNATE…..the nap.
And I HAVE ONE LIVING UNDER THE PIPE IN MY YARD…..can you say….here kitty, kitty……
The bear took 1 gal eggnog and the whipping cream and 1/2 1/2……
As Jr and i are looking at the tracks and I realize he took my goods….fucker You took My EGGNOG!
I turn around to tell Jr…..and look up here is BEAR charging down my deck stairs plowing through the snow……right towards us…..all i see is his HUGE EYES…..and I thought he was going to jump right over the rail at us…..We run into the garage, as if that will ‘save’ us……and I realize, when I got out ofmy car, I left the damn drivers door open….AND I HAD FOOD IN THERE TOO!?!?!
Hello EB….is there anybody home??????
We are cracking up…..he was huge…..Jr runs and gets his airsoft gun….(as I had my ‘family’ with me), but it’s only a spath gun, not a bear gun!

Jr goes running off trying to locate the bear……to shoot plastic little peletts at it….?????? Uh, JR…..come inside huh?

So now……I’m thinking….what was I thinking leaving this outside….serves me right.
He drank the 3 gals of goodness….and went back across the yard to his pipe to nurse his tummy ache!
I’ve gotta go……gotta bake cookies for him to complete his meal!
NOT!

What a DOPE!!!!!!!

one/joy_step_at_a_time

you suck as a hostess EB! all that nog and no rum!

be careful out there!

OMG EB!!!!
Lions and tigers and bears OH NO!!!
WTF is with the bear? You actually have bears that close? DUH. That would be like asking you actually have sharks in the ocean down here!!! I have never been out of the deep south/tropics much. How do you do it? I hope you have back up in the house for your EGGNOG!!! LOLOLOL
How do you know he has a tummy ache? He’s probably laughing at that LOLOL! He’s feeling good right now nogg and food? Do you live in a bear cave? LOLOL
notcrze1

One,
I think that a gay person who HIDES it is a perfect spath toy. The closet gay person has SHAME issues that the spath can relate to and – what’s the word?…take advantage of… you know. (my speech center has taken a hit since all the evil happened) You don’t sound like someone who is in the closet, you will be fine. You know yourself and you have integrity, you don’t compartmentalize your life. You are vaccinated – BIG TIME – with the crap your spath pulled on you and your knowledge from LF. Plus you have very good instincts, the advice you give me resonates with me.
Tomorrow will be a full moon, a lunar eclipse and the winter solstice. First time for all that in 400 years. enjoy it but be careful: spaths love sybolic gestures. They might do something. Why do they love symbols? Because symbols elicit emotions but they aren’t real anything, just like a spath.

EB,

BOINK!!!!! You know better than to leave bear bait out [email protected] You deserve a BIG BOINK for that!!!

Is Junior back at your house now? You’ve talked about him being around lately. You said too he worked with “spooky kid stuck in the ditch” that you thought might be there to spy on you or dig in your yard…any more information about that?

I got a face book request from my deceased step son’s x wife (he was divorcing her when he got killed in a car wreck so she was still legally the widow) and they had a little girl. she also had an older son who grew up to be a thug….this woman doesn’t like me and never has liked me, having not heard from her in 20+ years and last saw her in 1993 at his funeral, however she was big buddies with my P son before his arrest and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were in contact so am somewhat suspicious of her contacting me..I did turn her in to child welfare for fraud for obtaining aid to dependent children when her boy friend, my step son, was supporting her and living with her and the kids—and she almost went to jail for that one. So I find it hard after 20 years that she is just dying to find out how I am doing, so wouldn’t surprise me if P son had contacted her to get in touch with me and see what they can find out.

I’ll keep you up on my part of this drama rama, we can combine it and call it “AS the STOMACH CHURNS” LOL

EB,
first I find out that oxy is a cow-path and now it turns out you are a bear-path, when will it end?
Don’t you care about the bear’s diarhea? Bears weren’t meant to eat dairy products.
Now that you have trained the bear to love you for your cream and butter, you have to UNTRAIN him. leave a bit out there but spike it with jalepeno peppers or capsicam (sp?) peppers. Use something which won’t have a smell to help them discern the difference, but which will feel awful to their little tongues.
Oxy, icky, I wouldn’t be surprised if that witch sabotaged the car when she realized he was divorcing her. Go GRAY ROCK.

one/joy_step_at_a_time

sky- i think ‘manipulated’ is the word you are looking for.

most of us carry fear and shame about something. and if we didn’t before the spaths….

i don’t doubt that i can still be manipulated…just takes pressing the right button. at the pub tonight this woman started talking about how crap the doctors are. okay, i can get down with that – she has a disability and has probably dealt with a LOT of crap from doctors….but then the conversation goes way off into the ditch. and i am listening to her and thinking – what’s the deal here? is she unbalanced or…? i told her i wasn’t interested in joining her legal quest for justice for maligned patients. twice. and still, blah blah – i watched her disrespect my boundaries and although i was still checking her out, trying to figure if she was bit nuts or just a misunderstood soul, i found myself thinking – this is abusive. and if she’s nuts or a misunderstood soul, it didn’t matter. she crossed my boundaries and was off on some sort of little trip all her own. I disengaged and walked away. and on the end note – she is a bit nuts.

full moon/ lunar eclipse and solstice; holy shit, that’s a lot of convergence! will go out and howl at the moon.

i keep thinking about my n ex, who lives in a diff city..keep feeling like she is gonna show up here. so i will keep an eye pealed tomorrow!

Okay…..so far no damage. I was dreading coming home tonight to my garage door ripped off!
Last year was a big year for that!!!! My Next door neighbor got it twice.
Now I have to explain to my client where her eggnog disappeared to. She’s having a party for the church on Wed.
I’m going to take it all over to HER house tomorrow.
When she found I was heading over the hill to costco…she asked me to pick up a prime rib for her…..
The bear would have an absolute FIELD DAY if he got into the garage!!!! YIKES!
Went out and got pine sol and amonia and dumped it all over to keep the sucker away.
We found the empty cartons he drank….the eggnog was in a 1 gal plastic container…..he bit off the top, bit off the handle and SUCKED the plastic container until it was all shriveled up, if he would have been more patient, he would have gotten the thick stuff in the bottom of the container. 🙂

NotCze: yes darlen, we do have bears…..lot’s of them. This year the wildlife folks approved a hunting season…..I’m not for that at all. I don’t mind the bears and usually they don’t scare me, but tonight I was soooo not on expecting him. He was the big one they’ve been looking for. My gf said call the sheriff…..but i’d be mortified if they came out and killed the holiday celebrating bear, just mortified.
They really are awesome creatures to watch. And the fact he was up 3 stories on my top deck when we discovered the eggnog and came down and ran off is a good indication he’s still afraid of peeps. It’s the younens that you have to watch, they get ballsy.

I’ll take my boinking, I totally deserve it. That was a stupid, stupid thing to do…..and I wonder how I got nabbed by a spath? DUH! I left myself out for the spath as if I WAS HIS EGGNOG!

I kept telling the kids….theyv’e seen the bears all over town this summer…..I never saw one this year, even though he’s living in the yard. Never saw him.
Well…….I saw him! 😉

Yes, Oxy…..Jr showed up on Tues to decorate the Xmas tree……I was on the phone, went out and the front door was open. I told him to shut it and he said, he was almost done….almost done? doing what?
He said…..MOVING MY STUFF IN.
The owner of the house he was in…..changed the locks on them…..
I told him….and that is MY PROBLEM HOW?
Contract was made……and I’ve ridden him since. My peace is gone again! 🙂
We did have a good time swing dancing as we decorated the christmas tree though…..it was really fun!
He crashed his car last night…..that’ll teach him for driving inthis crud.
Oh…..the lessons he will learn.

And skylar…..bears LOVE diary. You autta see them with Ricotta! SHIT!

hey Oxy…..do ya think there is a possibility she’s ‘dating’ spath in prison?
what did she say in her email?

one/joy_step_at_a_time

sounds like an eventful 24 hours EB!

one/joy_step_at_a_time

and eggnog is full of sugar, so that makes sense to me, but ricotta? i am surprised that they are into dairy.

LOVE it!
I had a bear years ago, when I didn’t have a garage to put my trash into…..I made lasagna for a wedding party…..and shazammmm, he ran up the embankment with this large container and sat there with it on his nose….i wached him for a bit and a shooting star went off right behind him at hte top of the knoll. It was the coolest thing….
If they ahve a trashcan full of stuf…..they alway pick out the yogurt containers and the ricotta…..then work onthe rest.

He’ssleeping well tonight….no doubt……
Something of which I too must do!

Night one…sleep tight and have a good Monday!

EB,
Hope you had a peaceful nights sleep. I love those bear stories. I am an animal lover also. I couldn’t watch them shoot it either. Between the snow and bears they keep you hopping! LOLOL now Jr being back. never a dull moment at EB’s.
Soimnotthecrazee1!

EB, Nah she’s not dating him, she is “in a relationship with” some guy on FB and I’ve sort of kept up with what her life is in the 20+ years since I turned her in to the welfare for fraud claiming she needed support because she had 2 kids under 6 and no job and no man to support her….well, she was living in a rental house with my step son (her BF at the time) and her kid and their kid and he had income so she didn’t qualify for food stamps or anything else.

She tried to get me to sign that she lived there alone, and I refused and she got an employee of mine to sign—after they moved out in the middle of the night (my step son at that time was brain injured and functioning on level of pretty much MR) she locked up 3 cats in the house and filled the refrigerator full of chicken and unplugged it. P-son drove them away. I didn’t see them for 3 days (hot summer time) so when I went up to knock on the door the door lock was super glued shut and ended up breaking a window to get in and you can imagine the 3 cats, the dead chickens and so on. Hee hee she really got to me on that one.

Step son ended up getting large cash settlement over his head injury and she got him to marry her, but she went on a spending spree and he was divorcing her at the time of his death in a car wreck in 1993. I haven’t seen her since then, though my other step son has kept up with her since he lives fairly close to her home town and keeps up with his niece who is now a mother herself. The niece the girl, my husband’s granddaughter, doesn’t have much to do with her brother (a thug, druggie) or her welfare queen mother according to my step son (her uncle). As for the welfare queen, she has NO love lost for me I am sure. I went ahead and friended her as I am very careful about what I say on the FB. One of my husband’s grandkids tagged me in a photo made when they visited me here of me shooting a rifle and the WF Queen asked me “what are you shooting at”? I just replied “a target, but I like to keep in practice for self-defense and hunting. Make sure my aim is good.” LOL

One of P-son’s letters to the trojan horse mentioned that TH-P should contact the WF Queen as “she hates mom’s guts” (so I am not fooled by this contact LOL) Actually if they THINK they have a contact that you are not aware is a spy, it is a great way to put DIS-information on there.

So you and Junior have a CONTRACT now, huh? Well, I hope it works out better than my contract with my son C did—-I thought things were going well, C seemed to be happy here and cooperative, but then he started to get to acting “secretive” and then I actually caught him in an OUT AND OUT PREMEDITATED LIE….and funny thing is he is SUCH A POOOOOOOR liar….he gives way too many details to try to make it sound plausible. LOL Which almost makes it funny (at least in retrospect)

BTW, we have bears around here to and I don’t think they are cute or cuddly, and my rule is “come into my territory and die sucker!” My cousin had one on her back porch eating the cat food, and we had one here for a while, but it stayed back in the woods except one time it came into the clearing behind the barn. A park ranger friend of ours had a young one try to climb into his bedroom window once and he shot it from inside his house as it was clawing at the window.

one/joy_step_at_a_time

well oxy – shot him! why ever didn’t he just push the ladder away? 😉

Whoa, the WF Queen is a nasty piece of crap! spath-eeeee!
with ‘friends’ like that, who needs wildlife!

Yea, the WF Queen is definitely a piece of carp. Stinks about as bad as the inside of my rental did after that—had to tear the carpet out, throw out the furniture and throw out the fridge. Couldn’t get that stink out no matter WHAT you did. If it hadn’t been on a concrete slab I would have had to tear out the floors as well I think. Took a good coat of Kilz paint to cover up the odor that stuck to the walls and ceiling!

Yea, she doesn’t have any love for me even after all these years I am sure. I betya P son got one of his buddies on the outside to look her up on FB (she still uses my husband’s last name though she has been remarried 2 x I know of) so she would have been easily found as it is a VERY rare name. My step son saw her not long ago apparently when he went up to visit his niece on the 1st birthday of her son so that may have made her decide to contact me, or maybe P son got a buddy to look her up and contact her to get information for him. I know P son mentioned in one of his letters to TH-P to get into contact with her that she would “testify” to anything Ugly about me as she hated my guts. Don’t know if the TH-P did get into contact with her though.

Doesn’t hurt to keep my eyes peeled though, and she sure doesn’t scare me one way or the other. I am not going to give her any valid information at all—and will caution step son to not discuss me with her at all as well, I hadn’t thought about plugging that hole, but will get it plugged ASAP. So whatever her reason for contacting me—and it could be any number of reasons—Ps do turn back up in our lives even decades later just “out of the blue” for no reason WE can understand because WE certainly haven’t forgotten what pieces of carp they are! LOL

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