Victims have a certain way of walking, and psychopaths can spot it. That’s the conclusion two bloggers for Psychology Today reached, based on a scientific study released last year.
The study, Psychopathic traits and perceptions of victim vulnerability, was authored by Sarah Wheeler, Angela Book and Kimberly Costello of Brock University. The abstract states:
The purpose of this study was to determine whether individuals scoring higher on psychopathic traits would be better able to judge vulnerability to victimization after viewing short clips of targets walking. Participants provided a vulnerability estimate for each target and completed the Self-Report Psychopathy Scale: Version III (SRP-III). Higher SRP-III scores were associated with greater accuracy in assessing targets’ vulnerability to victimization.
Psychology Today blogger Marisa Mauro, Psy.D., explained the study further. A group of male university students were asked to watch video clips of 12 people walking. The videos were shot from behind, and the students were asked to rate the ease at which each could be mugged. Several of the individuals had, in fact, been victimized. The students who scored high in psychopathic traits were better at picking out the people who had already been mugged.
Mauro works as a prison psychologist. Based on her experience and this study, she wrote:
Certain personal characteristics are associated with tendency to be on the receiving end of bullying such as harassment and manipulation. I have found that the demonstration of confidence through body language, speech and affective expression, for example, provides some protection.
Wallflowers
Another Psychology Today blogger, Jeff Wise, also commented on the study and what it says about victims. Wise wrote that he recently came across a guy who seemed to have the traits of a psychopath. The man was charming, good-looking, athletic, financially successful—and he left a trail of destruction in his wake. His victims sounded like wallflowers. Wise wrote:
The women who wound up on the receiving end of his attentions were individuals who, in their own description, were not very worldly, experienced, or outgoing. They were psychologically vulnerable and hence ill-equipped to either resist this fellow’s predations or to deal with them emotionally after they had occurred.
Wise concluded that, “people who are on the receiving end of crime often do mark themselves out, if only subliminally.” Mauro suggested that people can decrease perceived vulnerability by projecting dominance—more eye contact, less movement of the hands and feet.
If only it were that easy.
Traits of targeted women
The research both bloggers quoted described a particular situation—people walking down the street, and how vulnerable they might be to being mugged. It should not be generalized to describe all victims of psychopaths. After all, how many of us were involved with muggers?
Consider the research by Dr. Liane Leedom on women who were targeted by psychopaths. She found that they have three traits in common:
- Extraverts. The women are outgoing, competitive, strong-willed and liked excitement. Sometimes they are free-spirited.
- Cooperative. They are high in empathy, tolerance and compassion. They value getting along with others, and are willing to compromise their own interests for the larger picture.
- Invested in relationships. They like being around people. They are sentimental and focus on special moments.
Dr. Leedom’s research relates to women. But I’ve heard from many Lovefraud readers, both men and women, who were successful, take-charge individuals—until they met the psychopath.
Personally, I don’t think anyone who watched me walk down the street would tag me as timid or vulnerable. I’m an athlete, and my stride is confident. But I was victimized by a psychopath, who took $227,000 from me, and cheated on me incessantly. And the guy started setting his hooks via e-mail, before he ever saw me walk.
Maybe projecting dominance would work to avoid muggers. But it’s not going to stop victimization by a card-carrying psychopath intent on finding a resourceful new supply.
Aussie:
I’m glad you are ‘who’ you are. Girl…..you’ve got strength, wisdom and tenacity.
It’s unfortunate people have to go through this……how about live and let live…..impossible if one of the livers is doing wrong!
Go getem girl!
Stay safe and take no crap!
XXOO
EB
Aussie girl!
OMG! You are really going through some stuff! I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. The bully’s tend to gang up on the person who is already dealing with too much.
And, you are sick, and they still gang up on you. They are emotional serial killers. They won’t kill you outright. They kill you piece by piece.
I didn’t have high blood pressure until a few years into my relationship with Jim. It is getting to the point of hyper tension.
Take care
I looked at the open court records on internet and it shows a restraining order on me. Anyone looking at it would have to read inside the file to see it was dismissed. Most people don’t take that time.
Jeannie, you may can get that expunged, contact an attorney about that, those things can usually be wiped out if they were not upheld.
Auzzie girl, I do have a cell phone but I don’t text or do all that stuff, so I just got a $20 “throw away” phone and put my sim chip in it after my more expensive phone died. I never used the other features on the other one anyway and I wasn’t willing to pay to get all the text and internet services and such. We have a family plan with the two phones, basic calls only—doesn’t bake bread or brew beer or do word processing or photos but we don’t need that and it is much much CHEAPER than having all the bells and whistles. Half the time we let the phones go to voice mail anyway…it’s for MY convenience. My husband’s granddaughter has a phone that does everything from make cakes to type her senior term paper, and a video of her entire life! LOL I’m even afraid to find how much it costs though, or the monthly fees. LOL (I’m cheap now that I’m not working—“a penny saved is a penny earned”)
I think the traits of the targeted women describes me very well.
I think my spath was one of the more cowardly one… the one that preys on the more vunerable target..
She was older (a lot older, 30 years older) .. an ex professor…
I think in learning about spaths… i have learned a lot about me.
My only issue is… acceptance. Acceptance of the fact that i was used…. done in a tactful, loving way…
It feels like a family member is dead… you KNOW in ur mind and heart they are dead… but you just canot accept it… and until you DO accept it.. you CANNOT move on.
It hurts.
Lostnconfused – you have come a long way in a short while; good for you!
You have your own answer: t is about acceptance. So, work on that. Other things will rise as you do – sometimes despair, sometimes anger, rage, loneliness. Just keep working on things as they come up…that IS how you move on.
in case no one else has mentioned this, read Kathy Hawk’s series on healing (left side of the page has the archives of her writing).
Dear Lostnconfused,
It starts out about THEM, and ends up about US. The healing journey is a circle back to ourselves and finding out why we allowed this abuse. We will meet others that abuse us as well, they are not the only ones that will try, but we have to learn how to make ourselves safer, to learn to accept ourselves and not feel that we NEED someone else to make us complete.
NO ONE else can make us happy, we need to make ourselves happy and secure, and then we can SHARE that happiness and security with another person who is happy and secure.
You are learning some valuable lessons much younger than most of us did, so you are fortunate that you did not marry some psychopath and have children with them that they can use to torture you with for the next two decades. There are positive sides of this trauma—it could have been worse! ((((hugs))))
You are moving in the right direction and you are a smart young woman….and stronger than even you know you are!
Thank you one step and Ox.
I do beleive that until i fully accept that… someone DID take advantage, weather they meant to or not… i just cannot move on.
And i am telling myself each day that thing will get better and in reality, they will…
I’m sure my spath isnt suffering as much as me.. if she was.. she wouldve reached out to me by now… so i cannot let myself be hurt by her as well.
I just hope things get better in time for me as it did for many of you all.
I just have one question…
Do all your spaths have been professionally diagonsed as sociopaths or did you go by the check list?
Ofcourse mine has not been professionally diagonsed (not to my knowledge..) but the list describes her so well.
Very few psychopaths are actually professionally diagnosed because they resist diagnosis or treatment, there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM—to their way of thinking. Most people who ARE professionally diagnosed are done so by the criminal justice system, or under duress, not voluntarily.
But keep in mind, IF IT LOOKS LIKE A DUCK, WADDLES LIKE A DUCK, QUACKS LIKE A DUCK—CHANCES ARE IT IS A DUCK.
So the thing is—IF IT ACTS ABUSIVE OR MANIPULATIVE, cheats or LIES, why on earth would you want it in your life???? Just because some one is not “professionally” diagnosed as a psychopath or a borderline or cluster B personality disorder doesn’t mean you want them in your life or that they are a “good person” or that they are going to “get better.”
GET ALL TOXIC people out of your life, get ALL LIARS and MANIPULATORS out of your life. A rose is a rose by any other name. It smells the same. A toxic person is a toxic person and STINKS if you get close to them.
ah, ox!
Your just amazing.
Speak so so so… well!
I guess everyone has their own journey… everyone takes their time… at their own pace after a breakup with a spath.
Hopefully mine and many others who are suffering will get their soon.
Its so funny beacause i felt so horrible today… and reading your post made me feel so much better.
It actually stopped me from checking her fb. Checking her fb is still being in contact with her… I still want to know whats going on in her life but really.. it isnt my business anymore