Victims have a certain way of walking, and psychopaths can spot it. That’s the conclusion two bloggers for Psychology Today reached, based on a scientific study released last year.
The study, Psychopathic traits and perceptions of victim vulnerability, was authored by Sarah Wheeler, Angela Book and Kimberly Costello of Brock University. The abstract states:
The purpose of this study was to determine whether individuals scoring higher on psychopathic traits would be better able to judge vulnerability to victimization after viewing short clips of targets walking. Participants provided a vulnerability estimate for each target and completed the Self-Report Psychopathy Scale: Version III (SRP-III). Higher SRP-III scores were associated with greater accuracy in assessing targets’ vulnerability to victimization.
Psychology Today blogger Marisa Mauro, Psy.D., explained the study further. A group of male university students were asked to watch video clips of 12 people walking. The videos were shot from behind, and the students were asked to rate the ease at which each could be mugged. Several of the individuals had, in fact, been victimized. The students who scored high in psychopathic traits were better at picking out the people who had already been mugged.
Mauro works as a prison psychologist. Based on her experience and this study, she wrote:
Certain personal characteristics are associated with tendency to be on the receiving end of bullying such as harassment and manipulation. I have found that the demonstration of confidence through body language, speech and affective expression, for example, provides some protection.
Wallflowers
Another Psychology Today blogger, Jeff Wise, also commented on the study and what it says about victims. Wise wrote that he recently came across a guy who seemed to have the traits of a psychopath. The man was charming, good-looking, athletic, financially successful—and he left a trail of destruction in his wake. His victims sounded like wallflowers. Wise wrote:
The women who wound up on the receiving end of his attentions were individuals who, in their own description, were not very worldly, experienced, or outgoing. They were psychologically vulnerable and hence ill-equipped to either resist this fellow’s predations or to deal with them emotionally after they had occurred.
Wise concluded that, “people who are on the receiving end of crime often do mark themselves out, if only subliminally.” Mauro suggested that people can decrease perceived vulnerability by projecting dominance—more eye contact, less movement of the hands and feet.
If only it were that easy.
Traits of targeted women
The research both bloggers quoted described a particular situation—people walking down the street, and how vulnerable they might be to being mugged. It should not be generalized to describe all victims of psychopaths. After all, how many of us were involved with muggers?
Consider the research by Dr. Liane Leedom on women who were targeted by psychopaths. She found that they have three traits in common:
- Extraverts. The women are outgoing, competitive, strong-willed and liked excitement. Sometimes they are free-spirited.
- Cooperative. They are high in empathy, tolerance and compassion. They value getting along with others, and are willing to compromise their own interests for the larger picture.
- Invested in relationships. They like being around people. They are sentimental and focus on special moments.
Dr. Leedom’s research relates to women. But I’ve heard from many Lovefraud readers, both men and women, who were successful, take-charge individuals—until they met the psychopath.
Personally, I don’t think anyone who watched me walk down the street would tag me as timid or vulnerable. I’m an athlete, and my stride is confident. But I was victimized by a psychopath, who took $227,000 from me, and cheated on me incessantly. And the guy started setting his hooks via e-mail, before he ever saw me walk.
Maybe projecting dominance would work to avoid muggers. But it’s not going to stop victimization by a card-carrying psychopath intent on finding a resourceful new supply.
PS. Like it has been stated many times… they seek out your weeknesses. No matter how strong we are we all have one or two. So if we appear strong on the street… they get in our heads and hearts and find them and try to ACT like our “perfect partner” to fulfill that weakness. They have no confidence, indentitiy or self control of their own. They live vicariously through us and then they D&D us.
This is sick that one human can do this to another!
soimnotthecrazee1, yes indeed. I don’t even think the word ‘parasite’ really does the dynamic justice. They are weak little pieces of crap that need to bully someone stronger so they can IN COMPARISON think that they’re “so much greater” because they attempt to squash you like a worm when they’ve manipulated you to become vulnerable… when in truth, they’re absolute cowards because as Steve said, they draw on our healthy desires to invest in a relationship and take advantage of that. They get you to be vulnerable and then in demeaning you, flex their pathetic wimpy arms in this “reflection” and thrive off of it. Yes, they enjoy seeing you hurt because it makes them feel powerful! Repulsive. Their sense of power is a fraud, just as much as they are.
Hey Ya’ll,
Spaths don’t just perform the long con, they perform the long revenge.
I was not weak. Just might be the differences between spaths, but my husband saw me as the strong woman, a challenge to break me. Took a while b/c I didn’t understand breaking me was the goal. All done for revenge b/c I made smart ass remarks thinking I was funny (dry humor, puns, self deprecating… I was funny, he just didn’t take it that way). Thus was born the need to put me in my place.
I didn’t get why until a long time after I finally escaped. I thought it was narcissism but it didn’t quite fit. Thought multiple personalities (he’d deny whole conversations and decisions), thought Aspergers but my husband was VERY social and the most charming man you’d ever meet, looked into sociopathy but he was no Ted Bundy so I thought I was wrong. It wasn’t until this site that the aha! moment clicked for me.
You are right, they look for weaknesses, I am not attractive and was raised being told I was stupid and proof was always forthcoming. So I didn’t compete with anybody for anything b/c I knew I’d lose.
But they also look for VULNERABILITIES, and my daughter was mine. He knew I would die for her. He used that.
Dancing,
I AGREE!!! I think I have come up with an analogy here..
psychopaths… are genetictically/generationally breed… sick/violent/criminal people and that there is no stoping until they are sterilized at birth in the gene pool somewhere. PLEASE LORD!!! FIND A WAY TO DO THIS!!!!
Sociopaths are their left overs that have been let into our society! They should have never been born if sterilization was in place. They were put in our society to be “normal” and they have (what I call) 50% normalized. They put on the mask…. that’s 50% and the other 50% they know what they are looking for….. the 100% person! To ridicule, belittle and kill us. Murder by Suicide!
Well guess what??? I didn’t commit suicide you spath idiot!!! (to my ex) You didn’t Win…. I just one upped you there! Didn’t I? He tried to take my mind,body and soul….. guess what? God has held them for me while I go through this.
Kady.. you are so correct!
Thanks for listening! Let’s all go for “sterilization” of this bloodline!!!!!
soimnotthecrazee1!
Hi mamagem! Huggzzz
Glad that you cut the cash cow off!!! No reason to keep milking it!
One thing I’ve noticed about the Spaths is that they know the words but they can’t hear the music. Some look for the long con, some do a quick sabotage. Different predators use different methods. If you watch wild kingdom, you can see this, they are not all the same. But they ARE all stupid.
I got pregnant to a totally unknown man in Singapore, after a “one night stand”.
Id just secured a top job as a n Army Teacher with the British Army overseas. I was 23 This was in 1963.
I told you you couldnt make this stuff up! My room mate,a Gym teacher,was a gay woman, nothing against gays, but she started to “come on” to me. I didnt fancy her,{not being gay}, so ende d up fleeing to this very good looking guys room next door. He was an Engineering Draughtsman, seconded to the Army, and had just given up his apartment, and moved temporarily into the same Guest house as we Army Teachers had been billeted into.he was 29, 6 years older than me.
Only had sex once with him{and he wore a condom}, BINGO!
that was Deb on the way!!
It was actually quite funny, I used to feel sick every morning after Breakfast,and I blamed the scrambled eggs, which tasted a bit fishy, as they fed the chooks on fish meal.,{bythis time, the Chinese house boys had moved me to my exs table!}
Of course,I was preggers, and 3 months later, we got married. I figured it may be like an Indian marriage,Id grow to love him, and I did.What I didnt know was, he was an alcoholic.Hard to tell out East, as evryone drinks a lot socially.
If only Id known my beautiful sweet baby girl would end up a spath. Still wouldnt have had a n abortion as I dont believe in it, but Ive often wondered if my life would have taken quite adifferent path if I hadnt married P.
Love,
Gemxx
Sky, No, I DONT believe they are all stupid, not by a long chalk.
My spath D,at 16, was top of her class in every subject before she fell in with a Punk group, which she was DESPERATE to join.
They refused to accept he r unless she stopped studying, so she stopped overnight, and all her gradesdropped from all straight “A” s to below “C’s.
Theyr not stupid but they can do very stoopid things!
Love,GemXX
Gem,
they are clever but stupid, no wisdom.
My spath taught himself to play guitar like a virtuoso and he flew a copter, self taught.
But he’s an idiot. The music he played was copied. when he wrote songs they were kitch.
The copter was just his way of impressing others. he killed the owner and “inherited it”.
They are stupid, they only use the snake brain. We can learn to see them if we are taught. Problem is, we were never taught
This article made me think of a major turning point in my recovery from being spathed. I was still in the midst of the relationship with the P and dreadfully depressed – suicidal in fact and yes murder by suicide I believe is a valid concept. I don’t think it’s over the top by any stretch of the imagination.
So I was in this dreadful state and went for counselling for grief and took on all the blame of the dysfunctional relationship. I decided at some point that I needed to start pulling myself out of the hole I was in, so I started changing from the outside in by buying and wearing new clothes and by taking some interest again in my appearance. It took several years for me to gain the strength to see he was the problem and leave him (a process that is seldom linear or fast and is usually fraught with interference and stalling from the psychopath). It took me a long time to start being able to see a future again.
I wonder if rather than simply counselling targets, they need some postural reconditioning after trauma so they don’t become easy targets in the future. I know my posture became slumped and rounded when I was with the psychopath – almost as though I had a large load on my back (which I literally did). I walked in a timid way and tried subconsciously to make myself smaller physically. I was unaware at the time of how bad my posture was becoming, but looking back in pictures now, I am shocked. I looked like I felt I had no right to breathe air or take up any space. It’s a far cry from the confident, energetic and sunny person I was before I met him. And it’s taken me a lot of years to get back to the confident posture and walk I used to have.
If they can smell our victimisation then shouldn’t this be an area we work on to adjust the visible signs? Yes we need therapy and other supports for trauma, but it would seem common sense to first ensure that no sudden extra trauma is likely from body language, posture and movement.
Tony Robbins talks about your body leading the mind – ie if you smile when you’re grumpy then after a while you feel happy. So our body is naturally a reflection of our psyche at any given time. Maybe working on the body would assist in integrating our experience and changing how we feel in the now while recovering. I don’t know – just an idea. Working from the outside in seemed to work for me. The counselling really didn’t work as it put more blame on me – or rather I put more blame on myself through the counsellor, who took an individualistic view of my situation, rather than examining the context I lived in.
What I needed was to feel better about myself in order to consider the thought that I perhaps wasn’t the problem.
Now I’ve internalised that caretaking behaviour that once was so conscious and unnnatural. I don’t need to pamper myself as I’ve got those good feelings inside. And I make myself walk tall with shoulders back and down, head high and a spring in my step.
Hope everyone’s coping with the crazy pre christmas season!