Victims have a certain way of walking, and psychopaths can spot it. That’s the conclusion two bloggers for Psychology Today reached, based on a scientific study released last year.
The study, Psychopathic traits and perceptions of victim vulnerability, was authored by Sarah Wheeler, Angela Book and Kimberly Costello of Brock University. The abstract states:
The purpose of this study was to determine whether individuals scoring higher on psychopathic traits would be better able to judge vulnerability to victimization after viewing short clips of targets walking. Participants provided a vulnerability estimate for each target and completed the Self-Report Psychopathy Scale: Version III (SRP-III). Higher SRP-III scores were associated with greater accuracy in assessing targets’ vulnerability to victimization.
Psychology Today blogger Marisa Mauro, Psy.D., explained the study further. A group of male university students were asked to watch video clips of 12 people walking. The videos were shot from behind, and the students were asked to rate the ease at which each could be mugged. Several of the individuals had, in fact, been victimized. The students who scored high in psychopathic traits were better at picking out the people who had already been mugged.
Mauro works as a prison psychologist. Based on her experience and this study, she wrote:
Certain personal characteristics are associated with tendency to be on the receiving end of bullying such as harassment and manipulation. I have found that the demonstration of confidence through body language, speech and affective expression, for example, provides some protection.
Wallflowers
Another Psychology Today blogger, Jeff Wise, also commented on the study and what it says about victims. Wise wrote that he recently came across a guy who seemed to have the traits of a psychopath. The man was charming, good-looking, athletic, financially successful—and he left a trail of destruction in his wake. His victims sounded like wallflowers. Wise wrote:
The women who wound up on the receiving end of his attentions were individuals who, in their own description, were not very worldly, experienced, or outgoing. They were psychologically vulnerable and hence ill-equipped to either resist this fellow’s predations or to deal with them emotionally after they had occurred.
Wise concluded that, “people who are on the receiving end of crime often do mark themselves out, if only subliminally.” Mauro suggested that people can decrease perceived vulnerability by projecting dominance—more eye contact, less movement of the hands and feet.
If only it were that easy.
Traits of targeted women
The research both bloggers quoted described a particular situation—people walking down the street, and how vulnerable they might be to being mugged. It should not be generalized to describe all victims of psychopaths. After all, how many of us were involved with muggers?
Consider the research by Dr. Liane Leedom on women who were targeted by psychopaths. She found that they have three traits in common:
- Extraverts. The women are outgoing, competitive, strong-willed and liked excitement. Sometimes they are free-spirited.
- Cooperative. They are high in empathy, tolerance and compassion. They value getting along with others, and are willing to compromise their own interests for the larger picture.
- Invested in relationships. They like being around people. They are sentimental and focus on special moments.
Dr. Leedom’s research relates to women. But I’ve heard from many Lovefraud readers, both men and women, who were successful, take-charge individuals—until they met the psychopath.
Personally, I don’t think anyone who watched me walk down the street would tag me as timid or vulnerable. I’m an athlete, and my stride is confident. But I was victimized by a psychopath, who took $227,000 from me, and cheated on me incessantly. And the guy started setting his hooks via e-mail, before he ever saw me walk.
Maybe projecting dominance would work to avoid muggers. But it’s not going to stop victimization by a card-carrying psychopath intent on finding a resourceful new supply.
Hope,
Hi five from me too!
I’m so happy that things are moving in the right direction. don’t let your guard down, though, keep vigilent.
and keep your eye on the goal: a spath free life for you and your kids.
Hopeforjoy – loss of a dream is better than a recurring nightmare!
onestep –
so very true! Having had both these things, WE would KNOW!!
Hopeforjoy –
YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Now I don’t have to come over there and kick him out myself)….
LL:
“What if all I learned, all I know, all these relationships”that THEY”RE normal and I”M the sociopath?”
No chance honey – Spaths think there’s nothing wrong with them that’s why they are so rarely officially diagnosed and why treatments are generally unsuccessful with them. For you to be questioning yourself lets you right off the hook! And if it DID turn out that you had some other PD – well guess what? Most are emminently treatable.
I was much encouraged when it seemed my ex-spath had BPD, because the research showed that treatment was effective in most cases and that people with BPD who were dignosed and treated mostly went on to live relatively normal and fulfilling lives – and BPD is a BAD PD to have. So – nothing to worry about, is there? (In my spath’s case, it turned out NOT to be BPD and he never DID stick around for a proper diagnosis or treatment, deciding instead that there was “nothing wrong with HIM!”)
Your particular brand of feeling “crazy” and doubting yourself is more than likely the result of all the “crazy-making” you have been through. If so, it will all clear up in time. We have all been there and some of us still are – but it WILL pass.
Lostnconfused –
“Wish me luck, Lostnconfused (my name) is coming over to talk today. I hope everything goes well” Lostnconfused is something special”. Like i said, i was not suppose to see that email” as you all know all her emails were kept very private” but i saw this one. If i hadnt forced her to show me her email” i wouldve never seen this one, BUT since i DID force her” i saw an email that was very private between her and her friend.
Sweetie, that still doesn’t mean that you WEREN’T meant to see it! Mine placed phoney telephone calls that I wasn’t supposed to overhear, received (and left lying around where I would see it) phoney correspondence engineered by him with a sophisticated photocopier on copied letterheads and wrote “secret” declarations of his “love” for me in a diary he kept very early on in our relationshit (I didn’t snoop – he asked me to look up a date or something in the diary for him, knowing that I would see what he had written). Once the trap had worked, he no longer kept a diary in the entire next seven years that we were together. Mine also “sent” and “received” text messages that were faked, to and from numbers he had set up pretending they were his ex-wife, etc. etc.
The SOURCE of your information is —? Whether directly or indirectly, if they are the source then the information MUST be at least questioned if not disregarded entirely.
LOL, Aussie Girl,
very succinctly put and spot on.
“The SOURCE of your information is —? Whether directly or indirectly, if they are the source then the information MUST be at least questioned if not disregarded entirely.”
Actually I have something called the 180 rule. Everything they say is 180 degrees from the truth, EXCEPT for a kernal of truth. They “anchor” their lies by beginning with that grain of truth then spin and spin and spin the lies!
In Lost’s case, “LostnConfused is something special” is the kernal of truth. It is like Billl Clinton’s “I did NOT have sex with THAT woman” Bill’s definition of sex apparently doesn’t include penetration with a cigar and oral sex. So there is a kernal of truth – in his mind.
Lost’s spath can define, “something special” however she likes. It gives her the kernel that she needs. They all need a kernal. It gives their lies some veracity in their eyes, an anchor to keep their lies straight. All children do this when they lie.
This is a disordered mind for sure.
LOL!
Just a side note. I have a son who is very bright and intuitive. He often puts hilarious status’s on his FB. the other day, I saw one that had me laughing my ass off.
“NEWSFLASH: Bill Clinton DID have sexual relations with that woman!”
Loved it!!
Skylar, about your “kernel of truth” keep in mind, that
RAT POISON = 99.9% PURE CORN MEAL (truth) AND 0.1% (lie) POISON, but if you eat it, it will KILL YOU.
True Oxy, sometimes the lies are small and covered in truth, but in my experience it’s usually the other way around.
My point is that they do use a “truth anchor” if for no other reason than so that they can BELIEVE THEIR OWN LIES.
Hopeforjoy,
I am praying that 2011 is a good year for all of us. Yes, the h-spath is congenial, coming across as such a nice, thoughtful person (at times). He has lied so much that I don’t know what the truth is where he’s concerned. The h-spath “does not have a range of emotions,” being a good description of my h-spath. He really is emotionally shallow. Like your husband, my h-spath’s emotions are muted, not fully expressed (except rage). I personally think that he envies people who are well-off, not taking into consideration that these people (most of them) have earned their way in life – he came from the “wrong side of the tracks” (as his younger brother told me) and he wants to be on the “right side of the tracks.” I came from a middle class background, believing that all of us are equal. Since learning more about his upbringing (while separated from him), I really can see how abusive (father was a spath) and neglectful (mother didn’t bond with her children) parents can screw a child up (child development milestones are not met). Anyway, living apart is helpful, keeping me more balanced, helping me decide what direction to go. I hate to see our marriages end, but I realize that it’s impossible to have a sane existence with a spath. There has been too much crap that has happened (during the last several years) that I could not go back to him, resenting him for how he is, definitely not a stand-up guy.
bluejay and hopeforjoy –
Please stay determined NOT to back down or go back.
Get safe and STAY safe. xxx
Hi Everyone,
Ive been reading a lot of old articles on LF about sociopaths, and their main tool being… lies and ofcourse manipulation.
Unlike a lot of you here on LF, i feel like i am still in denial about my spath.
Its so frustrating because sometimes i hate her, but most of the time i just feel like she did nothing wrong.
My question to you all is, will i ever get out of this denial? I feel like that is my biggest fix with this whole issue.
I dont mean to be annoying to any of you… i just dont have anyone else to turn to.
I catch myself wondering what my spath is doing, who she is with, if shes thinking about me, if shes okay… etc..
In this process i am hurting my mother so much. She cries everyday…. she doesnt know what to do with me anymore… i dont even know what to do with myself.
Did you all go through this same process? Am i crazy or is this normal after dealing with a spath?
Will i ever get over this Denail that my spath was a “good person who cared about me..”
Also… my xbf said that my spath lied so much to me that he believes that she started believing her own lies..
Is that true with spaths?