Victims have a certain way of walking, and psychopaths can spot it. That’s the conclusion two bloggers for Psychology Today reached, based on a scientific study released last year.
The study, Psychopathic traits and perceptions of victim vulnerability, was authored by Sarah Wheeler, Angela Book and Kimberly Costello of Brock University. The abstract states:
The purpose of this study was to determine whether individuals scoring higher on psychopathic traits would be better able to judge vulnerability to victimization after viewing short clips of targets walking. Participants provided a vulnerability estimate for each target and completed the Self-Report Psychopathy Scale: Version III (SRP-III). Higher SRP-III scores were associated with greater accuracy in assessing targets’ vulnerability to victimization.
Psychology Today blogger Marisa Mauro, Psy.D., explained the study further. A group of male university students were asked to watch video clips of 12 people walking. The videos were shot from behind, and the students were asked to rate the ease at which each could be mugged. Several of the individuals had, in fact, been victimized. The students who scored high in psychopathic traits were better at picking out the people who had already been mugged.
Mauro works as a prison psychologist. Based on her experience and this study, she wrote:
Certain personal characteristics are associated with tendency to be on the receiving end of bullying such as harassment and manipulation. I have found that the demonstration of confidence through body language, speech and affective expression, for example, provides some protection.
Wallflowers
Another Psychology Today blogger, Jeff Wise, also commented on the study and what it says about victims. Wise wrote that he recently came across a guy who seemed to have the traits of a psychopath. The man was charming, good-looking, athletic, financially successful—and he left a trail of destruction in his wake. His victims sounded like wallflowers. Wise wrote:
The women who wound up on the receiving end of his attentions were individuals who, in their own description, were not very worldly, experienced, or outgoing. They were psychologically vulnerable and hence ill-equipped to either resist this fellow’s predations or to deal with them emotionally after they had occurred.
Wise concluded that, “people who are on the receiving end of crime often do mark themselves out, if only subliminally.” Mauro suggested that people can decrease perceived vulnerability by projecting dominance—more eye contact, less movement of the hands and feet.
If only it were that easy.
Traits of targeted women
The research both bloggers quoted described a particular situation—people walking down the street, and how vulnerable they might be to being mugged. It should not be generalized to describe all victims of psychopaths. After all, how many of us were involved with muggers?
Consider the research by Dr. Liane Leedom on women who were targeted by psychopaths. She found that they have three traits in common:
- Extraverts. The women are outgoing, competitive, strong-willed and liked excitement. Sometimes they are free-spirited.
- Cooperative. They are high in empathy, tolerance and compassion. They value getting along with others, and are willing to compromise their own interests for the larger picture.
- Invested in relationships. They like being around people. They are sentimental and focus on special moments.
Dr. Leedom’s research relates to women. But I’ve heard from many Lovefraud readers, both men and women, who were successful, take-charge individuals—until they met the psychopath.
Personally, I don’t think anyone who watched me walk down the street would tag me as timid or vulnerable. I’m an athlete, and my stride is confident. But I was victimized by a psychopath, who took $227,000 from me, and cheated on me incessantly. And the guy started setting his hooks via e-mail, before he ever saw me walk.
Maybe projecting dominance would work to avoid muggers. But it’s not going to stop victimization by a card-carrying psychopath intent on finding a resourceful new supply.
Happy New Year to all my brothers and sista’s out here in LF land. Let’s hope that we all make decisions with OUR own best interest at heart! Time for us to be selfish about ourselves.
Soimnotthecrazee1!
lostnconfused – would your mother use a computer? ask her to come here. we can explain it to her. i am serious. – i wish someone i loved would care enough to cry about me everyday.
You have to work EVERY DAY to remind yourself what she has done. This has worked for others in the past; write down the worst thing she did, the thing that hurts you the most, the thing that causes you shame, humiliation, or fear. Now, EVERY TIME you feel love for her, read that statement and say it aloud to yourself.
You are a bit crazy right now – and we ALL go through it to greater and lesser degrees.
do they believe their own lies? I don’t know. what i do know is that they will say whatever they need to to win. it’s a competition, a game of envy and heartlessness.
and like i have said before in response to your question, ‘is she thinking about me?’ – you are better off if she isn’t.
Denial is common to most of us, but the details of that denial are probably unique to each of us – we all have special little sutures that keep it in place. I think part of your not thinking she did anything wrong is sutured up with your desire to rebel against your parent’s lifestyle. not saying that this is a negative – i did the same thing, many, if not most people do it to a certain extent. But you need to address some of the underlying issues to help loosen the sutures, the things that keep the denial tied tight. I haven’t followed all of the details – so please excuse me if i get this wrong – but i think that you basically ran away to the spath, drawn by her charisma, and that your parent’s felt they had to rescue you. 10 years from now you will thank them for this. they don’t understand so much about what you have gone through. i suspect they think it is some sort of predatory relationship, and the lesbian angle probably freaked them the fuck out.
you have a lot of healing to do and healing to do in your family. i don’t know what you have told your mom. have you explained the nature of predators? The bond? the trauma? I think you should have her come here, and talk to us. i am sure that most of us are even older than she is, and we would be able to help her understand. she’s scared for you. i’m not. i think you will work this through. but i also think you need to learn to protect yourself. i wish i had had support to understand s/p/n when i was 20, and some guidance to learn how to avoid spaths. my life might look a whole lot different. i was out of the house at 18, and my mother would never have reached out for help – to her loss. I came out to her at 26, and we spent a year not talking, because she had nothing good to say. you have access to a lot of wisdom here. so i want you to try the things we say to try and do the absolutely most intelligent thing a free person can do for themselves – make up their own mind as to the veracity of a course of action. use that intelligence, that she used against you ( i know she flattered you, and i bet that was one of the things she commented on) to stay away from her.
doesn’t matter what label or diagnosis one can give her – she’s a predator – you are an ex student and her junior by more than 2 decades. that’s just wrong. period. and that SHE doesn’t know better, proves the point that she takes what she wants. predator.
Lost,
did Bill Clinton believe that, He “did not have sex with THAT woman”?
’nuff said.
Yeah, have your mom talk to us. Get her books to read. You can support each other.
It sounds like you never grew up since around age 12. Now you’re trying to cram 8 years of growing pains into a few days. It’s gonna hurt.
I think I stopped growing up somewhere around age 15-20. and I’m 45 so now I’m a paralyzed mess, trying to cram my growth and my 75 year old parents’ growth into a few weeks.
it sucks. They are getting dragged kicking and screaming through the eye of the needle.
sky – you know, I always sort of ignored clinton’s behavior; i mean he wasn’t a BUSH, and for that i was thankful. But, yah know….his behavior was deplorable.
okay…4 minutes to midnight; am going out for a walk.
Happy new year everyone!
One step,
I will tell my mother about LF, she knows that i have spoken to Donna…
I have a personal question to ask you, since im not familiar with your situation..
Are you in a lesbian relationship? If yes, i might have a few more questions for you that i think that you might be able to really help me with.
lostnconfused – no, i am not in a relationship, but i am lesbian. I am not communicating via email these days, but would answer anything you would be able to ask here.
Oxy and skylar,
I wanted to respond to the part about having some truth in the lies. After years of lies, my spath now tells me the hurtful truths and says that he will no longer lie to me.
In other words, because I had moved on, was fine for the most part, to have friendly chatter with him where I no longer cared. He felt he needed to hurt me by calling me from some other woman’s home during the holidays. I stupidly allowed him to see he got to me.
Actually, at this point, who really knows what the truth is. It doesn’t matter. He was and is toxic. And if I start in on magical thinking that he is now able to be good with someone else (which is what he told me). I start crazy thinking, but why not with me, or what if? It is a lie. If he is good, it is an act and it is only because she is not on his hook yet. He is incapable because of what he is.
Dear Missymud,
The thing is NO CONTACT, none, zip, zero, nada, zilch—if he can’t talk to you, or get messages to you, then he CANNOT HURT YOU. No Contact WORKS. That is why it is the only way to get the poison out of your system and heal. As long as you keep letting the snake bite you, you will continue to get hurt.
You are right—but I KNOW the truth—HE IS UNABLE TO CARE FOR YOU, and he WILL NOT CHANGE, but he ENJOYS HURTING YOU. Don’t let him do it any more. NO CONTACT.
missymud, there is no truth in him, don’t have the “friendly chatter” with him, they always have an agenda, he’s keeping you around for some reason, he sees he can get to you, so he still feels powerful and feels like he has some kind of hook there. Stay completely no contact, he will hear that loud and clear… and won’t like it!! Too damn bad!!! Talking to him has ripped off a little bit of the scab you grew over the hurt, protect yourself… so the healing will be complete. God Bless you. Oh, and you’re right, it’s all an act with this other woman, she sees the red flags right now… and is hiding them, like I used to do!
Missy,
it may be hard to imagine someone who is so attuned to the emotions of envy and shame that they can subtly find those feelings in the deepest part of anyone and then activate them.
Your words “that he is now able to be good with someone else (which is what he told me). I start crazy thinking, but why not with me, or what if?” are all about envy and shame, “why not with me?” He is such a sick ****, that even after leaving you he wants to make sure you feel envious and shameful.
It’s because that’s how he feels. He isn’t happy or he wouldn’t do that. They always reveal their thoughts, you just have to know how to interpret them.