Lovefraud Blog

When you finally realize that everything the sociopath told you was a lie, and your whole involvement was nothing but exploitation, you’re crushed. The last thing you need is people criticizing you for believing the lies —but they do. Today I’ll offer five realities to help you when you’re judged for believing the sociopath. I know what it’s like to be judged. It just happened to me. I’ve been talking about my marriage to a sociopathic con man for years. Three times, I’ve told my story a reality TV show. The latest series was called Love, Honor, Betray, and it recently became available on HBO Max and Hulu. My story is Episode 6 and is called, Too Good to Be …

When you’re judged for believing the sociopathRead More

Editor’s note: The Lovefraud author Eleanor Cowan wants to educate survivors of narcissistic abuse into recognizing how their own actions may contribute to their misery. She is writing a collection of true stories called, “Impactful Stories for Stubborn Codependents.” Eleanor’s biographical book is called, “A History of a Pedophile’s Wife.” Who’s Responsible for This? By Eleanor Cowan “You’ve never snapped at me before, Mia,” said her post-surgery patient, a long-distance trucker anxious to be back on the road. “My team’s heading to my dreamed-of Alaska next week. I so want to be with them,” he pleaded, frustrated that Nurse Mia declined to sign his discharge papers. “Let’s not ju …

Codependence and the consequences of forgivenessRead More

The fundamental problem with psychopaths is that they do not have the ability to authentically love. I say this all the time in my articles and videos. A reasonable question to ask is why? Why can’t psychopaths love? For the answer, we need to look deep into human biology, psychology and even evolution. Luckily, the Lovefraud author Dr. Liane Leedom has done this. She is a psychiatrist and professor of psychology and counseling at the University of Bridgeport. I am interviewing her on Lovefraud Live on Jan. 7, 2026, at 8 pm ET, when she will explain in detail why psychopaths can’t love. Here are the basics, based on one of Dr. Leedom’s published works called, Psychopathy: A Behavioral S …

Why psychopaths can’t loveRead More

You’ve probably been shocked, even blindsided, by the behavior of the sociopath. Why? Because his or her behavior violates your longstanding, lifelong models of what it means to be human and how people should act. Following are eight ways people often attempt to control a sociopath. They all fail. Remember, a sociopath, according to the Lovefraud author Dr. Liane Leedom, is someone who preys on and/or damages nearly everyone they spend time with. Clinically, they could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorder.  You may look up the definitions of these disorders and decide that they seem to fit the person who is c …

8 attempts to control a sociopath: They all failRead More

If you have a sociopath in your life for any significant period of time, whether as a romantic partner, family member, friend or business associate, here’s what you need to understand: You will be damaged. These people are manipulators and exploiters, and their predatory behavior is intentional. Oh, they may say it’s not their fault. They may try to make you feel sorry for all the bad things that have happened to them in the past (which may or may not be true). Or they’ll blame others for anything that goes wrong. But make no mistake — these are simply tactics to achieve their objective, which is to use anyone and everyone who can provide something that they want.  “A sociopath is …

Sociopaths’ predatory behavior is intentionalRead More

Editor’s note: The Lovefraud author Eleanor Cowan wrote “A History of a Pedophile’s Wife.” She is now working on tales intended to shock codependent people into recognizing their behavior and connecting with support and guidance to overcome it. The collection is called, “Impactful Stories for Stubborn Codependents.” Here’s the first story. See Eleanor’s comments at the end. Graduation Day  By Eleanor Cowan Kim reminded herself to sell or donate or otherwise dispose of her mother’s wheelchair, still lodged behind the porch door, but first she’d have to repair the rickety back steps of the doorway.  She felt it. That heaviness, that cloudy confusion, a murkiness she quickl …

Codependence and tolerating bad behaviorRead More