How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Lovefraud Blog

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I have NO family now, my sister has turned them all against me

//  by //  18 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call  "Arabella." Names have been changed. I've been searching and searching for someone who understands. However, for me it's not a lover ”¦ but my older sister, who has taken great pleasure in trying to destroy me. Strangely though, I'm wondering if my mother is also touched with psychopathy. Her emotional reactions to things are very questionable. When she's been with me and my sister, mum has never raised an eyebrow at some of the REALLY awful provocations. My older brother has treated me like dirt on so many occasions.  Mum sides with him no matter what he does. Mum also made a mistake of telling me …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I have NO family now, my sister has turned them all against meRead More

Recovery From A Sociopath: New Beginnings

//  by //  23 Comments

by Quinn Pierce As with all new beginnings, the New Year always brings a sense of hope for a better tomorrow.  And as this year draws to a close, I have to admit that I feel a sense of relief.  This was definitely one of my more challenging and tumultuous years, and I will be happy to consider it part of my past. Recognizing Positive Experiences However, before I do, I think it's important to acknowledge my accomplishments within the struggles.  Sometimes, when we are plagued by the abuse, and the inevitable drama, from the sociopath in our lives, we may have learned to cope by pushing away the memories that cause us to re-experience the hurt and sadness. But, as survivors, we need to …

Recovery From A Sociopath: New BeginningsRead More

Father, Dmitriy Kanarikov, throws his 3 year-old son, Kirill, off roof of Manhattan high-rise then jumps to his death

//  by //  5 Comments

Separated parents Dmitriy and Svetlana Kanarikov had an agreed-upon visitation schedule for father Dmitriy to spend time with his 3-year-old son, Kirill. The visits seemed to go well until Dmitriy tossed his son off a high rise building and then jumped to his death as well. The couple had separated in August, when Dmitriy had turned violent toward Svetlana. Dmitriy had threatened  his estranged wife, telling her “he would take the child away” and "she would ”˜shoot (herself) from grief,'” Svetlana Kanarikov revealed. Svetlana believed this was Dmitriy's "sick way" of following through on that threat. Mom of boy, 3, thrown from roof of Manhattan high-rise calls it husband's ”˜sick way' of …

Father, Dmitriy Kanarikov, throws his 3 year-old son, Kirill, off roof of Manhattan high-rise then jumps to his deathRead More

Lessons from Sandy Hook: Disturbed people live among us

//  by //  11 Comments

On Friday, the Connecticut State Police released documents related to the investigation into last year's terrible school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. We know the broad strokes of what happened on Dec. 14, 2012: Adam Lanza, age 20, shot and killed his mother, Nancy Lanza, in the home that they shared. Then he went to the nearby Sandy Hook Elementary School and killed 20 first-graders and six adults. Released were thousands of documents, photos, audio recordings and videos. I downloaded one section of the report and opened some of the documents. One that was particularly chilling was the report of Newtown Police Lieutenant Christopher Vanghele, who was …

Lessons from Sandy Hook: Disturbed people live among usRead More

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Advice for relatives of elder abuse victims hooked by sociopaths

//  by //  3 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was received from a Lovefraud reader. Many years ago my wealthy (and elderly) widower father entered into a relationship with a sociopathic woman. She is very charming and beautiful. This was marriage number four for her. Her last marriage had been completely predatory. My father's health is good, his mind is sharp but his memory is failing. The more his memory fails, the more his wife isolates him. She does this in brazen and cruel ways too numerous to write about here in this short note. She also encouraged him to drink alcohol and take potent sleeping pills. He was hospitalized several times for overdose. My father has a substantial estate and it …

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Advice for relatives of elder abuse victims hooked by sociopathsRead More

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: An intense relationship, until he threw me back

//  by //  65 Comments

Editor's note: This letter was sent in by Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Renata." I know, as far as abuse stories go, this isn't a doozy. I'm sure other women and men have gone through far worse. And that is precisely why I want to share my story, because, even though this guy isn't a major abuser, he's a manipulative, conniving and voracious predator. He will believe he is using his charm and "kindness" to befriend women who are vulnerable and heartbroken, giving them something to feel good about, over and over. He will lead them down the rosy garden path, all the while knowing that he has NO intention of reciprocating a safe and loving relationship. He only uses his "victims" for …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: An intense relationship, until he threw me backRead More

Recover from the sociopath by experiencing beauty

//  by //  38 Comments

Donna Andersen at Longwood Gardens What, you're probably wondering, is that pattern behind me? The gigantic, voluptuous red curves on a field of green? They're apples. Thousands of red and green apples. The apples are floating in a few inches of water on the floor of the indoor conservatory of Longwood Gardens. The display is breathtaking. It is beauty for the sake of beauty. And it is incredibly healing. Terry and I recently treated ourselves to a couple of days off.  We took a trip not far and one of the places we visited was Longwood Gardens. Longwood Gardens, in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, was founded by Pierre DuPont of DuPont company fame in 1906. The conservatory in …

Recover from the sociopath by experiencing beautyRead More

Could oxytocin – the brain’s love chemical – be the real ‘love potion #9’?

//  by //  42 Comments

Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a just released book, “Carnal Abuse by Deceit.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. Joyce lives in New York City, where she's a real estate broker, professional tennis instructor and a strong advocate for her community. By Joyce M. Short Does Love Potion #9 Really Exist? The hit record written by Leiber & Stoller back in 1959, Love Potion #9, was originally recorded by The Clovers and published by the Aberbach brothers who owned Hill & Range Songs Inc …

Could oxytocin – the brain’s love chemical – be the real ‘love potion #9’?Read More

Reports of U.S. child abuse are down, but fatalities are up

//  by //  3 Comments

Reports of child abuse and neglect totaled 686,000 during fiscal 2012, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. That terrible number is actually an improvement, down from 688,000 in 2011. A total of 1,640 deaths were attributed to child abuse and neglect. About 70% of the children who died were under 3 years old. Parents were the perpetrators in 80% of the cases. New federal data: Child abuse reports dip slightly, but child fatalities rise, on StarTribune.com.   …

Reports of U.S. child abuse are down, but fatalities are upRead More

Narcissistic men and hostility towards women

//  by //  11 Comments

Psychologist Dr Scott Keiller from Kent State University at Tuscarawas conducted a study with 104 men to measure attitudes regarding traditional roles of men and women. He found that narcissistic heterosexual men are more likely to have hostility toward heterosexual women than toward gay women or men.  The narcissists perceive heterosexual women as having more control over whether their sexual desires are fulfilled. A man with attitude, from Science Centric Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.   …

Narcissistic men and hostility towards womenRead More