How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I’m at a loss about what to do (Part 2)

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Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "WalkingInLight." Read Part 1 here. Towards the end of our separation a man rang me from S's church to see if he could help S and I get back together. He told me he had spoken to S and was now speaking to me to see if he could help. I told him I still loved S but really believed he did not love me. This man said he would talk to S the next time he saw him. Now I have to say that I had not been going to this man's church for a couple of years because the teaching had taken a ”˜strange turn,' so I was at a different church to my husband. Even though my husband agreed about the teaching, he said he couldn't leave that church …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I’m at a loss about what to do (Part 1)

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Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "WalkingInLight." Part 2 will be posted tomorrow. I am sharing my story with you to clarify it all in my own head and to see if I should be moving out of this relationship. The trouble is, I have been in this marriage for 20 years (minus some years of separation) and though I know it's not normal, I have got used to it, and don't know if it is bad enough to leave, even though I have no love, trust or respect for this man left. I feel he has killed it all. I am confused because we are not living in a hostile way to each other, so I don't know if it would be more harmful to my children to leave. Here is my story. Sorry in …

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Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide: Norman Groot

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Lovefraud presents a series of Q&A articles with members of the Professional Resources Guide. Norman Groot is an attorney located in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Q. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? A. Our law firm, Investigation Counsel PC, has litigated various cases on behalf of victims of ”˜lovefraud.' In one case the victim was a gentleman with cerebral palsy who was scammed out of $800,000 by a woman who he met online. After approximately a year of courting, he proposed to her and she advised him that she was carrying his child. She was married at the time to a local drug dealer, and ulti …

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Recovery From A Sociopath: Learning From Past Mistakes

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by Quinn Pierce I've been thinking a lot lately about the process of learning from our mistakes.  It sounds simple enough.  After all, it's easy to look in the rear-view mirror and see exactly where we went wrong.  Events always look so clear and uncomplicated when looking at them from a safe distance. So, with a little self-reflection, we can identify those decisions that led us into unsafe territory and vow never to make them again. Complicated Choices But, this is where I run into a problem.  I know which experiences I do not want to repeat, but the choices I made that led to those experiences are not as black and white as the experiences themselves. For example, I chose to love …

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Dealing with sociopaths: Fight or flight?

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Sociopaths are social predators who live their lives by exploiting people. When you're the person who has been exploited, how should you respond? Do you try to hold the sociopath accountable? Or do you cut your losses and walk away? Lovefraud is an open forum, with many people expressing opinions about what you should do. In the past, some folks have posted comments saying give up, run away, don't fight, you can't win. I don't necessarily agree with that. Yes, in some cases, fleeing is the best course of action. But sometimes the only way to survive is to fight. Or sometimes standing up to the sociopath enables you to reclaim yourself, even if you don't win the battle. I believe you …

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He thought I had beautiful eyes…

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As if being a first year law student isn't hard enough, enter a new dating relationship.  Under the best of circumstances, this would be a challenge, but when your gut is screaming at you, it's even more interesting. Let's start with law school.  I was slow to admit it, but yes, that is what I have been doing since last I wrote.  Years ago, after my all consuming experience with psychopathy, I promised myself that I would rise from the ashes, turn the bad into good, and help others recover from abusive relationships with psychopaths or those high in psychopathic features.  It is my turn to pay it forward. This promise has evolved slowly and its shape has changed over the years, but thus f …

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Talking openly about domestic violence

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Leslie Morgan Steiner wrote the book Crazy Love about being involved with a man who routinely abused her. In this TED talk from last year, she describes how she was drawn into the relationship, and why she didn't leave. Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave, on Ted.com. October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.   …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: After the sociopath, whole and human again

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Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader "Winifred." She previously wrote "The Other Prey loving someone previously married to a sociopath." I have just read the story from "Edward" entitled, My involvement with a female sociopath. My heart goes out to the people who are collateral damage from the wrath of a sociopath...male or female. I would like to get the message out there that there is actually a way to recover from this hell, and after picking up the pieces and getting to know ourselves again, to find someone who has no evil agenda, someone who wants what we want! I have been with my husband for 10 years now, and we have been through it all! I believe that …

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FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin on psychopathy

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In July 2012, the FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin focused on the topic of psychopathy. The publication provides an overview of  what law enforcement officials should know about psychopaths as criminals. Lovefraud readers will also find the information helpful. Topics include: Psychopathy: An important forensic concept for the 21st century Perspective: The predator when the stalker is a psychopath Looking behind the mask: Implications for interviewing psychopaths Case study: No more bagpipes the threat of the psychopath The language of psychopaths: New findings and implications for law enforcement  FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin on Psychopathy, on FBI.gov …

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My Marriage To A Sociopath: Lessons Learned

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by Quinn Pierce It's fall in the Northeast.  The long humid days of summer have been replaced by crisp autumn air, while vibrant, painted leaves cover sidewalks. It's usually my favorite time of year, but I have to admit that this particular change in seasons has been challenging.  Instead of enjoying the beautiful scenery and bright sunshine, I've spent most of my days sitting in the interchangeable waiting rooms of doctors, lawyers, counselors, principals, etc, trying to help my children heal while protecting them from their father. Time to Reflect on Change Sitting in these impersonal, and sometimes, over-crowded waiting rooms, I have had lots of time to reflect upon my fifteen y …

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