A few days ago, Bill Zeller, a 27-year-old graduate student at Princeton University, died. The cause: suicide. The reason: He was tormented due to being repeatedly raped as a child. Zeller left a 4,000-word suicide note that eloquently explained the effect that the devastation had on his life. There is a link to it in this article: Princeton student kills self over rape as child, on CBSNews.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
LOVEFRAUD TO THE NEXT LEVEL: If you have read my book, please post a review
A sociopath ripped through my life, taking my money, cheating on me, shaking my soul to its core. It was a terrible, painful, humiliating experience. But it has also given me a new mission in life—spreading the word about these human predators, helping others to heal, or better yet, avoid them. That's why I launched Lovefraud.com. And that's why I wrote my book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. My husband, Terry Kelly, believes in this mission. Together, we formed a publishing company, called Anderly Publishing, to get the message out. Love Fraud is our first book, and based on what I hear from all of you, I have a list of about 20 more titles that n …
LOVEFRAUD TO THE NEXT LEVEL: If you have read my book, please post a reviewRead More
Getting over that amazing ‘chemistry’
Sooner or later, those of us who are romantically involved, or have been romantically involved, with sociopaths and other exploiters recognize that the relationship is bad for us and must end. Although we know this intellectually, often we still feel incredible attraction, even love, for the individual. How do we break the emotional attachment? For example, Lovefraud recently received the following letter: I am single, and I think I was with someone very narcissistic, if not outright sociopathic. The thing is, even though I am no longer with him (and he did not get to my finances), he broke my heart. My question is, how do you get over him? I have tried to date others, but no man has …
Sex in the Love Fraud book
Yes, I will admit, my book, Love Fraud, does include some sex scenes. A few readers have expressed surprise that I am willing to share that aspect of my story. But the book is about my search for love and marriage, and sex is a natural part of love and marriage. The scenes are handled tastefully. They're not as racy as erotica—heck, they're not even as racy as romance novels, with those silly little euphemisms, always preceded by three long, hot, trembling adjectives. But sex did happen, and I did include it, for two important reasons. Unhealthy sex The first reason is to illustrate unhealthy sex—the kind of sex engaged in by sociopaths. I was clueless about sociopaths when I first met my …
BOOK REVIEW: The Gaslight Effect Redux
It's amazing how people can have differing opinions of the same book. Last May, the Lovefraud Reader Ox Drover wrote a review of The Gaslight Effect, by Dr. Robin Stern. I am always on the lookout for books that will help readers understand, and recover from, a traumatic entanglement with a sociopath. Because Oxy was so complimentary about The Gaslight Effect, I was anxious to read it, and possibly recommend it to others. Well, I read the book, but I'm not sure I can recommend it. Oxy did point out that Dr. Stern never mentions the word, “sociopath,” referring to the perpetrator as the “gaslighter,” and the victim as the “gaslightee.” Although Oxy was willing to look past this omission, …
BOOK REVIEW: The 48 Laws of Power
By Ox Drover Many times on Lovefraud, bloggers have joked with me that a particular phrase or behavior “came out of the ”˜Psychopath's play book,'“ the kind of book in which a football team would write all their usual plays. I recently bought a book entitled, The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene, because it sounded like an interesting book. But the more I got into it, I realized that the heretofore-thought-mythical “Psychopathic Play book” does exist, and this is it! Robert Greene, by the way, also wrote The Art of Seduction. Here's what the jacket blurb on the back of The 48 Laws of Power says about its content: The best-selling book for those who want POWER, watch P …
Private behavior and the public good
The connection between love and politics—that was the topic of commentary in yesterday's paper written by Gregory Rodriguez, a columnist for the Los Angeles Times. The article, Love and politics in a cynical age, got me thinking about the consistency of behavior. Rodriguez summarized how Americans have come to view the private lives and public lives of the people we elect to represent us. He wrote: The truth is that we don't generally associate politics or politicians with happy marriages and deep romance, let alone fidelity. The constant revelation of scandals and peccadilloes in the halls of power have trained us to expect the worst of those—particularly the men—we elect to shepherd and …
Genetic mutation plus alcohol leads to violence
A study of criminal offenders in Finland found a certain genetic mutation and alcohol consumption was associated with impulsive violence. Read Genetic mutation may lead to violent and reckless behavior on ABCNews.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
Background checks for online daters
When looking for love, 20 million Americans look on Internet dating sites. Now, companies offer quick and easy background checks, although some experts worry about their effectiveness. Read New online-date detectives can unmask Mr. or Ms. Wrong, on NYTimes.com. …
Dipping a toe in the dating pool
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who writes as “Glinda” sent the following letter. I'll provide my thoughts at the end of her letter. “NEVER Dating Again” Punishment or Prudence? I have most of my life back in order, post sociopath. Work is good; I have friends; I have hobbies; and my kids are well cared for and seem to be well-adjusted to our family routine. I also don't worry and think about getting asked out much. I'm pretty sure I put a “nuh uh” sign out, in neon. I haven't had any interest in dating—in fact, I've sworn off relationships in general. I'm not lonely. I've filled my life and don't feel empty or sad. I have a terrible track record in picking men”¦and a worse record …