How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Male and female senior sociopaths — still nasty after 50

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Both men and women can be sociopaths. As they get older, both male and female sociopaths continue to be destructive to the people around them. Here’s what one woman in the Lovefraud Senior Sociopath Survey wrote about her disordered ex-husband: "His narcissistic behavior pattern became intensified. He was cruel, a pathological liar, never apologized, projection, triangulation and gaslighting. He got much worse as I started emotionally disengaging." Here’s how another woman described her disordered mother: "Nothing ever changed. She exploits, lies, throws tantrums, rages, abandons, pouts, defames, threatens, and would still be physically violent if she had the physical strength." It’s cri …

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Empty chair technique to resolve issues with deceased father

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By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS As a cognitive behavioral therapist, I have recently incorporated what is called “the empty chair” technique with my clients. This technique is for individuals who have a need to express themselves to someone that is emotionally unavailable, living far away, in prison, or deceased. Commonly this technique is used to resolve a conflict with someone who will not visit a counselor or therapist with the client. Also, if there is an overtly dysfunctional family member (an addict or alcoholic) who will not seek therapy or talk about their problem, this empty chair technique is effective for family members who are witnessing their destructive behaviors and feel hel …

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Senior Sociopaths as parents: manipulating their kids while young and as adults

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Sociopaths do not authentically love anyone, including their own children. My new book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, includes a chapter specifically on senior sociopaths as parents. I think it’s the most important chapter in the book. I surveyed Lovefraud readers about people they knew who were age 50 or older and whom they believed were sociopaths. A total of 2,120 people responded to the survey, including 357 who wrote about their disordered parents or stepparents. I also asked all survey respondents if they were familiar with the individual’s behavior as a parent; 1,260 respondents said yes. So I have a wealth of data about the parenting behavior …

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Sociopath pretended to be the perfect father and husband

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Shipra22. She wrote that her ex-husband pretended to be the perfect father and husband. I met him at 17 on the first day in college. A former classmate of his was interested in me and he pretended to help him out and targeted me himself. He was violent and had had a history of being involved in. violence or some sort or the other. He told me strange stories of life (his real escapades) as if they were his friends who were doing them. He was constantly testing to see how much he could dupe me. We dated 10 years and were married 17. Parallel life He was bisexual and pretended to be homophobic so that …

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Learning my husband is a sociopath after 18 years of marriage

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Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader, whom we’ll call Marilyn22, sent the following story about learning her husband is a sociopath. Names are changed. My ex husband stalked me while in high school from age 14 to 17. Whenever I saw him coming I would hide from him because he always wanted to talk to me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I was not attracted to him because he was always walking with other boys who seemed like troublemakers and they were loud. Finally, when I was 17, I saw him and was by himself and seemed quiet. He called out to me and I went to talk with him. I enquired about his quiet and polite demeanor and he said that he was now a Christian. I was delighted to hear that bec …

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Book Review: Divorcing Your Narcissist

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Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!, by Tracy A. Malone Review by Donna Andersen Marriage to a sociopath or narcissist is really bad, which is why I think most people who find themselves in this situation should divorce. Unfortunately, divorcing your narcissist can be worse than the marriage, at least while you’re going through it. Luckily, narcissists who are divorcing tend to use all the same tactics and scams. In her book, Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!, Tracy Malone reveals the typical dirty tricks they employ as they try to gain the advantage over you. If you’re divorcing a narcissist, read the book. Forewarned is forearmed. Here’s how Tra …

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Married to a senior sociopath: It never gets any better

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Editor’s note: My new book, “Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers,” goes on sale May 17. I’m posting a series of articles to preview the book. Today’s topic: “Married to a senior sociopath.” No one intentionally marries a sociopath. We marry someone who seems to be loving, caring and shares our interests and values. It’s only later — sometimes many years later — that we realize the person we thought we married doesn’t exist. My book, Senior Sociopaths, is based on surveys that I did with Lovefraud readers in which I asked them to describe their experiences with people who were age 50 or older and whom they believed were sociopaths. Of the 2,120 people respond …

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The man of my dreams led a double life of cheating, drugs and porn

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Carmen22” about her experience with a senior sociopath and his double life of cheating, drugs and porn. Names are changed. I don't know where to start. I lost my husband to a freak accident 18 years ago. We had very young children at the time. I suffered because of blaming myself for his death, which is a whole other story. I got into bad relationships with men and turned to alcohol. I, from time to time turned to alcohol to ease my pain but it became a problem. I had to work so hard on myself to get sober. Between my faith in God, my church and the support of AA, I managed to overcome it. I made the …

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Senior sociopaths and dating: Mature partners aren’t always safe partners

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Editor’s note: My new book, “Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers,” goes on sale May 17. I’m posting a series of articles to preview the book. The first topic: “Senior Sociopaths and Dating.” If you’re an adult who is looking for a date, know this: Potential partners who appear to be mature can still be extremely dangerous to your emotions, psyche, health and finances. My new book, Senior Sociopaths, thoroughly documents what can happen and offers suggestions on avoiding and escaping predatory relationships. The book is based on two surveys in which I specifically asked Lovefraud readers about their experiences with over-50 individuals whom they believed were …

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Why sociopaths succeed: Style matters more than substance

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/RcxW6nrWwtc"] UPDATED FOR 2022. Charismatic, glib, grandiose, magnetic, energetic — sociopaths are typically described in these terms. Here's why sociopaths succeed: No matter what they actually do and say, these men and women have style. And, according to a classic experiment in education research, style is all that is needed to be respected and believed. Back in 1970, Dr. Donald H. Naftulin, director of Continuing Education in Psychiatry at the University of Southern California School of Medicine, and colleagues, conducted an experiment to test the hypothesis that student ratings of educators depend largely on personality variables and not on e …

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