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Realities only family members know

January 23, 2009 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  237 Comments

Research into sociopathy/psychopathy has made a great deal of progress over the last 30 years. Even so, there is much that research does not address. For example, sociopaths are described as callous, lacking in empathy and without remorse for their hurtful actions. These sterile descriptors always fall short of really conveying the evil of the disordered. A good 6 months before the Madoff story broke, I began a project to connect with the family members of professional con artists. The purpose of this project is to document the within family behavior of con artists and to link that “profession” to psychopathic personality traits. I have had good success connecting with family members and th …

Realities only family members knowRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, For children of sociopaths, For parents of sociopaths, Recovery from a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

The gift of forgiveness

January 22, 2009 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  125 Comments

By Peggy Whoever Today I had an epiphany, certainly my first, and perhaps the only one I shall receive in this lifetime. I consider myself blessed. I equate this epiphany, an almost supernatural experience, as being akin to what someone on LSD may have experienced, whereby every nerve ending, and the synapses within every cell is felt at a deep sensory level, where there is a oneness and synchronicity within me and outside of me, a oneness with the universe. (No, I have never experimented with drugs!) I equate this feeling with Abraham Maslow's study of “peak experiences”. This is a rare moment, sometimes a once-in-a lifetime vision, comprehension, and/or deep level of spirituality. …

The gift of forgivenessRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

BOOK REVIEW: Hi Gorgeous! The first words of sociopathic seduction

January 19, 2009 //  by Donna Andersen//  334 Comments

Melissa K. Dean was a new lawyer in a new job. All she needed was a new romantic interest. So she posted her profile in Match.com, and received more than 30 responses in the first two days. One of the men started began his message boldly, writing, "Hi Gorgeous!" For a woman who had long doubted her feminine appeal, the words were irresistible. More words followed—words that seemed to indicate mutual interests and goals, words that appealed to the woman's sympathies. Melissa K. Dean tells the story of being seduced by, married to, and then abused by, Jack Cass, a man who claimed to be a former Navy SEAL. It's a classic story of sociopathic victimization. Exotic dancer Dean tells h …

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Category: Book reviews

After the sociopath: How do we heal? Part 1-The Path

January 18, 2009 //  by Kathleen Hawk//  658 Comments

A relationship with a sociopath is a traumatic experience. The definition of physical trauma is a serious injury or shock to the body, as with a car accident or major surgery. It requires healing. On an emotional level, a trauma is wound or shock that causes lasting damage to the psychological development of a person. It also requires healing. To some degree, we can depend on our natural ability to heal. But just as an untreated broken bone can mend crooked, our emotional systems may become “stuck” in an intermediate stage of healing. For example we may get stuck in anger, bitterness, or even earlier stages of healing, such as fear and confusion. This article is about my personal ideas abo …

After the sociopath: How do we heal? Part 1-The PathRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Over use of the term psychopath/sociopath?

January 17, 2009 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  95 Comments

With the release of the Mask of Sanity in the 1940s Dr. Hervey Cleckley began the quest to describe a syndrome called psychopathy, in which affected individuals prey on others without remorse. Since people affected by the syndrome are socially disordered the syndrome has also been called sociopathy. Dr. Robert Hare extended the work of Cleckley and carefully documented the symptoms of the disorder. All this research has lead to two basic conclusions: 1. It is quite remarkable that individuals who choose a lifestyle of remorseless predation of other people are so similar in their behaviors and personality traits. 2. Equally important is the idea that non-disordered people do not “regularly” …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath, Sociopaths and family

Evaluating An Unknown Provider’s Expertise in Sociopathy

January 15, 2009 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  277 Comments

I write this column (using "he" throughout, for simplicity purposes) to suggest some useful ideas for vetting a prospective provider who does not come recommended through a reliable source (or through Donna Anderson's growing new LoveFraud referral base). How can you begin to assess a relatively unknown provider for his competence to address your experiences with a suspected sociopath specifically, exploiter in general, or otherwise personality-disturbed individual? Let me start by suggesting that a provider who claims to be educated about sociopathy really isn't if he lacks an equally fluent understanding of narcissistic and borderline personality disorder. The reason I say this is …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

Washed Out and Wrung Out: The Effects of Stress

January 14, 2009 //  by Donna Andersen//  70 Comments

By Ox Drover Since I have been in the medical profession for many years as a Registered Nurse Practitioner (now retired) I have been interested in the reactions our bodies and our minds have from stress. Stress is a contributing factor to poor health and decreased immune response. Increases in the frequency of infection for individuals with a high level of stressful events in their lives have been well researched by many researchers. It is also well proven that our thinking and ideal mental responses are also diminished by high levels of stress. Stress is not just the negative things that happen to us, but according to researchers Holmes and Rahe, stress is the result of “life events.” I …

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Category: Recovery from a sociopath

When it comes to sociopaths, education is the key

January 12, 2009 //  by Donna Andersen//  19 Comments

Lovefraud spent the weekend at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference in Albany, New York. Quite frankly, it was depressing. This was a conference of worst-case scenarios. I spoke to a woman whose story sounded like the Clark Rockefeller case, only worse. Her ex-husband was an illegal alien from Germany. He was also a doctor who had a hard time getting licensed because of "missing documents," but eventually did get licensed. Once he got his American residency and license, he dumped the woman and got their 5-year-old daughter in an emergency custody hearing—the woman believes he paid off the judge. The woman knows her daughter is being sexually abused—she screams when anyone touches her. B …

When it comes to sociopaths, education is the keyRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath

“Emotional blindness” and the sociopath

January 8, 2009 //  by Donna Andersen//  560 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who comments as "Pearl." By Pearl Someone on this blog once mentioned a book by Alice Miller and Andrew Jenkins, and it caught my attention. So now I'm reading The Truth Will Set You Free—Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self. Even though I'm only about halfway through the book, I wanted to share parts of it because it is so important to what a lot of us are working on—forgiving ourselves and trying to understand why this (fraud) happened to us. I know this won't apply or appeal to everyone, but it might help some of you as it has me. Miller's ideas help me understand why I was sus …

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Category: Recovery from a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

Sociopath-proof in 2009

January 4, 2009 //  by Kathleen Hawk//  151 Comments

Editor's note: This is the first post by Lovefraud's newest blog author, Kathleen Hawk. She previously posted many thoughtful comments under the screen name "khatalyst." Last year, 2008, was a year in which we faced the cost of sociopathy in our economy. Huge financial firms were destroyed or deeply damaged by their own corporate cultures. Their employees were encouraged to pursue personal gain, without concern about the messes they left behind or the damage they did to other people's lives. The results are loss and suffering, even for people who had nothing to do with these companies. It sounds familiar, doesn't it? Sociopathy taken to a grand scale. But there are people and …

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Category: Recovery from a sociopath

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