Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Sassy22.” She says sociopathic ex-partner “ruined me.” I answered the door and a good-looking guy was standing there asking if Sean was ready? I was confused cuz I lived alone with my son, not named Sean. This guy, dressed in construction work clothes was very apologetic, and said he must have got the address wrong. That he was carpooling with a new coworker and was sorry to have bothered me. As he left, he turned around and ask if he could make it up to me by taking me out for a drink later? I politely denied, and closed the door. The next few weeks I started seeing this guy all the time. He drove down …
Senior Sociopaths: Antisocial behavior and abuse until they die
My new book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, is now available in the Lovefraud store and on Amazon. Here’s the book's take-home message: Senior sociopaths engage in antisocial behavior and abuse until they die. I wrote the book because I married a con man, James Alwyn Montgomery of Australia. He swindled my money, cheated with at least six women, had a child with one of them during our marriage, and 10 days after I left him, married her. It was the second time he committed bigamy. Montgomery's behavior made no sense to me — until I learned that he was a sociopath. That’s why I founded Lovefraud — to warn other people about the sociopaths living among us. …
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Coming to terms with an abusive mother and an indifferent father
By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS In my last article, I described how I’m using the “empty chair technique” to help a client, Mary, get closure about her disordered, but deceased, father. Here we have a continuation of the empty chair technique with Mary and her father. Mary finished the last session telling her father that she is finished trying to reason with unreasonable people. In this second session, Mary picks up where she left off. She wants to discuss her abusive mother. Mary’s father makes a choice too Joanie: Mary, you told your father you are done reasoning with unreasonable people. You told him you made a choice. Did he agree with your choice? Mary: No, by his silence, he di …
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Senior sociopaths in the family create havoc forever
We’re all born into families. Most of us interact with our families throughout our lifetimes. When there are senior sociopaths in the family, it means a lifetime of manipulation, triangulation and havoc. My upcoming book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, is based on information I collected from surveys of nearly 2,400 Lovefraud readers. I asked them to describe their experiences with someone age 50 or older whom they believed was a sociopath. The respondents could write about anyone they wanted, and 153 described disordered siblings, grandparents, family members and in-laws. All the relationships were abusive. It was just a matter of how abusive. One woman …
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The sociopath who documented his abuse
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Laurie22.” She wrote about marrying a sociopath who documented his abuse. Names are changed. I met Eddie during the pandemic. We had the most romantic socially distanced first date. As a cancer patient and survivor and single parent, I thought I hit my jackpot. I had waited so long and he wasn’t the typical guy I dated. Icy blue eyes. Short. Balding. But I thought that love meant that you looked inward. And I fell in love with him deeply. We got married December 31, 2020 at a celebrity mansion. Within 72 hours of our marriage, we had an affidavit from his ex-wife (divorced 2 years) claiming abuse. He promi …
Male and female senior sociopaths — still nasty after 50
Both men and women can be sociopaths. As they get older, both male and female sociopaths continue to be destructive to the people around them. Here’s what one woman in the Lovefraud Senior Sociopath Survey wrote about her disordered ex-husband: "His narcissistic behavior pattern became intensified. He was cruel, a pathological liar, never apologized, projection, triangulation and gaslighting. He got much worse as I started emotionally disengaging." Here’s how another woman described her disordered mother: "Nothing ever changed. She exploits, lies, throws tantrums, rages, abandons, pouts, defames, threatens, and would still be physically violent if she had the physical strength." It’s cri …
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Empty chair technique to resolve issues with deceased father
By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS As a cognitive behavioral therapist, I have recently incorporated what is called “the empty chair” technique with my clients. This technique is for individuals who have a need to express themselves to someone that is emotionally unavailable, living far away, in prison, or deceased. Commonly this technique is used to resolve a conflict with someone who will not visit a counselor or therapist with the client. Also, if there is an overtly dysfunctional family member (an addict or alcoholic) who will not seek therapy or talk about their problem, this empty chair technique is effective for family members who are witnessing their destructive behaviors and feel hel …
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Senior Sociopaths as parents: manipulating their kids while young and as adults
Sociopaths do not authentically love anyone, including their own children. My new book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, includes a chapter specifically on senior sociopaths as parents. I think it’s the most important chapter in the book. I surveyed Lovefraud readers about people they knew who were age 50 or older and whom they believed were sociopaths. A total of 2,120 people responded to the survey, including 357 who wrote about their disordered parents or stepparents. I also asked all survey respondents if they were familiar with the individual’s behavior as a parent; 1,260 respondents said yes. So I have a wealth of data about the parenting behavior …
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Sociopath pretended to be the perfect father and husband
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Shipra22. She wrote that her ex-husband pretended to be the perfect father and husband. I met him at 17 on the first day in college. A former classmate of his was interested in me and he pretended to help him out and targeted me himself. He was violent and had had a history of being involved in. violence or some sort or the other. He told me strange stories of life (his real escapades) as if they were his friends who were doing them. He was constantly testing to see how much he could dupe me. We dated 10 years and were married 17. Parallel life He was bisexual and pretended to be homophobic so that …
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Learning my husband is a sociopath after 18 years of marriage
Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader, whom we’ll call Marilyn22, sent the following story about learning her husband is a sociopath. Names are changed. My ex husband stalked me while in high school from age 14 to 17. Whenever I saw him coming I would hide from him because he always wanted to talk to me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I was not attracted to him because he was always walking with other boys who seemed like troublemakers and they were loud. Finally, when I was 17, I saw him and was by himself and seemed quiet. He called out to me and I went to talk with him. I enquired about his quiet and polite demeanor and he said that he was now a Christian. I was delighted to hear that bec …
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