How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Poor impulse control: a symptom of sociopathy in men and women

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This week, I met a man in his early 20s, who approached me to ask about sociopathy. He is in search of answers regarding his former girl friend and BOTH his mother and his father. He stated he had just ended a relationship with a woman who was physically and psychologically abusive to him. He said it was hard to end the relationship because he still loved her. The man was raised by his father after his alcoholic mother abandoned the family. His father was an abusive character who also drank alcohol and paid little attention to the kids. He asked if I would explain why people are abusive psychologically and physically and why this is related to alcoholism. In answering his question, I …

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Is Tony Soprano a sociopath?

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Tonight, in the final episode of the HBO series The Sopranos, we find out what happens to Tony. Will he get whacked? Will he escape? Will he go into the federal witness protection program? As a prelude, last week's episode, called The Blue Comet, showed Tony as a man alone, losing his family, friends and even his psychiatrist. Early in the show, Tony's shrink, Dr. Jennifer Melfi, is at a dinner party with other mental health professionals, including her own shrink, Dr. Elliot Kupfenberg. The conversation turns to sociopaths: Doctor #1: I Googled stuff on sociopathic personalities. Apparently the talking cure actually helps them become better criminals. It was fascinating. The study was …

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ASK DR. LEEDOM: Is there a gender bias against men in the diagnosis of sociopathy?

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There is gender bias in our current mental health diagnostic system. This bias occurs for three reasons. There are genuine gender differences in the manifestation of behavioral disorders. Those creating the diagnostic categories are biased. Those making the diagnoses are biased. Each of these reasons for gender bias is operative with regard to sociopathy. We would hope though that gender differences found in behavioral disorders reflect true physiologic differences between men and women. This week I will attempt to convince you that physiologic differences between men and women account for the higher prevalence of sociopathy in men. That men and women are different physiologically …

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How to find out if someone is truly military

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My ex-husband, James Montgomery, told me he had earned the Victoria Cross, Australia's highest military honor, for his heroism during the Vietnam War. He said he continued his military service for 30 years, as an Australian attached to American Special Operations, including Navy SEALS. He said he became an intelligence analyst for the Special Operations Command and the National Security Agency. I saw the reports that he wrote about Islamic terrorists. Montgomery was the keynote speaker at a New Jersey Veterans Day ceremony in 1995. His photo, standing at the podium in a camouflage uniform and Special Forces beret, appeared in the newspaper. In 1996 and 1997, I accompanied him to a local …

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ASK DR. LEEDOM: How does one ever get over the heartache of being taken by a con artist??

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Con artists are a special category of sociopaths. In fact, most if not all are also psychopaths. If you were tricked by a con artist, I would say you are in good company, since all three of the authors on this blog were also fooled by con artists! This week one of our readers posted her story as a comment to ASK DR. LEEDOM: FAQ #1 “Why is this so hard for us mentally?” Her post illustrates many of the important characteristics of a con: In 1998 I was ripped off by a con artist, whom I met through a personal ad. I was going through a very serious depression at the time, and that's when I met him. He seemed like a breath of fresh air, very intelligent, different than other men I had met. He …

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Anthony Owens has 8 wives, tries for 4 more

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"Bishop" Anthony Owens, one of the original Lovefraud case studies, was back in the news last week. Perhaps you remember Bishop Owens. He married eight women, and divorced none of them. His last wife found out about his multiple marriages and turned him into the police. Owens was convicted of one count of bigamy and spent 17 months in prison. He was paroled in November 2005. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Owens is back in jail because he violated his probation. He left the state of Georgia to re-establish his traveling ministry. And while he was traveling, he was proposing to more women. The newspaper reported that at least four women claim Owens has proposed to them …

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Exercise to treat depression and anxiety

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The trauma that a sociopath inflicts on those who love him/her can be exceptionally difficult to overcome. In the wake of a relationship with a sociopath, former partners can suffer with clinical depression, generalized anxiety, PTSD and panic disorder. All of these conditions are said to respond to SSRI antidepressants like Prozac and to psychotherapy. However, many people have written to Lovefraud.com lamenting that antidepressants and psychotherapy have not been particularly effective for them. The one good thing about a crisis is that it can be an opportunity to make major life change. I am a firm believer that it is possible to come out of a crisis better and stronger. I am also …

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I am Blessed. A Victor’s Story — Four years after the sociopath

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On Monday, May 21, 2003 at 9:14 am, a miracle drove up in a blue and white police cruiser and set me free. I was in hiding with the sociopath who was trying to escape Canada into the States where he said he had money hidden. I didn't really believe him but I didn't care what happened to me. By that point in our 4 year 9 months relationship, I had completely given up on me and given into him. It was only a matter of time before he killed me as I had become an albatross holding him back from getting out of the country - at least that's what he kept telling me. I know he wanted me to take my own life, but why bother? I was already the walking, breathing dead. What difference would it make if I …

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Optical illusions: autostereograms and sociopaths

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Editor's note: The following essay was contributed to Lovefraud by Kenneth Royce at www.javelinpress.com. Ken discovered that a "friend" was a pathological liar, serial thief and con artist. "Though he made off with over $10,000 of my property in a very complicated scam," Ken says, "it's had the ironic benefit of outing him for the sociopath he is, and thus warning many other unsuspecting people." Autostereograms produce an illusion of depth using only a single image. The image is usually generated by computer, by repeating a narrow pattern from left to right. By decoupling eye convergence from focusing operations, a viewer is able to trick the brain into seeing a 3D scene. How to see …

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New hope for the children of sociopaths

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Those who have read Just Like His Father? know that sociopathy is a disorder with a strong genetic basis. Science has further established a genetic link between sociopathy, addiction and ADHD. The children of sociopaths, therefore, carry genetic risk for sociopathy, addiction and ADHD. If a genetically at-risk child receives special nurturing during the developmental years, prior to puberty, he/she has the greatest chance to grow up free of these disorders. To attach real numbers to the problem of sociopathic parents and their children, consider that 25% of U.S. women are victims of domestic violence. Studies of male perpetrators of domestic violence reveal that 50% are sociopaths and …

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