Lovefraud frequently receives e-mails and phone calls from people who are divorcing a sociopath and are afraid they're going to get trashed in court. They know the sociopaths will lie—smoothly and convincingly—and are terrified that the manipulator will end up winning the money, the house, and custody of the kids. If you're facing family court battles with a sociopath, I recommend that you buy and read Splitting—Protecting Yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or Narcissist, by William A. Eddy. It may be the best $25 you ever spend. Eddy, the author, is both a therapist (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) and an attorney. He understands the law, the courts and how people with personality diso …
How do you help someone snared by a sociopath?
Lovefraud recently heard from a woman who was concerned for her daughter. Here is her e-mail: Currently, our daughter is married to a sociopath. He has taken us (her parents) for thousands and thousands of dollars, then turned her against us. These people victimize people and are somehow able to make themselves look like the victim. They have 2 small children. He has completely isolated her from her family, including her sister. He completely hates me and has made me the enemy, for I started seeing through him. Do you have any idea how I can possibly reach her to make her see the pattern? This man has felonies on his record for scheming to defraud; he has cheated people all his adult …
Psychopaths in the executive suite
If you're one of those people who still thinks anyone should be able to recognize a psychopath, wake up: Not all psychopaths are beady-eyed serial killers. The psychopath you see every day could be your boss. Snakes in Suits is the new book by Dr. Robert Hare, the international expert on psychopaths, and Dr. Paul Babiak, an industrial-organizational psychologist. (I wrote about the book last Sunday as well.) Buried on page 193 is a shocking statistic: 3.5% of business executives are psychopaths. Hare and Babiak conducted original research with 200 high-potential executives. The 3.5% who scored as psychopaths were "superficial, grandiose, deceitful, impulsive, irresponsible, not taking …
How psychopaths manipulate their victims
Snakes in Suits—When Psychopaths Go to Work is a new book published by Dr. Robert Hare, the international expert on psychopaths, and Dr. Paul Babiak, an industrial-organizational psychologist. Although the book is primarily about psychopaths in the corporate world, it contains important information for anyone who is dealing with one of these predators. Chapters 3 and 4 explain how psychopaths manipulate their victims, and it's absolutely chilling. Hare and Babiak describe a three-phase process psychopaths use in their parasitic approach to life. This isn't a process psychopaths have to plan, they do it naturally. Here's how it goes, according to the authors: First, they assess the …
One woman’s story of near-destruction by a sociopath
I am an abused woman. I don't look it. I smile at the world from behind big brown eyes. I work, I speak to friends, I function. I am not battered and bruised. I do not sport visible scars of torture. I am well-educated, intelligent, creative, successful, attractive. But, I am also an abused woman. This is the opening paragraph of a new book called The Dandelion Spirit—A True Life Fairytale of Love, Lies and Letting Go, by M. L. Gallagher. The Dandelion Spirit tells the true story of how the author was seduced by a sociopath who dramatically proclaimed his love for her while he played on her sympathies. It then tells how the author slipped into his web of deceit, and by the time she l …
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Enron and corporate sociopaths
Last week former Enron executives Ken Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were found guilty of fraud and conspiracy. Lay was convicted of six counts, including conspiracy to commit securities and wire fraud. Skilling was convicted of 19 counts of conspiracy and fraud. On the same day, the verdict was announced in Ken Lay's separate non-jury trial related to his personal finances. He was found guilty of bank fraud. In January, 2004, Andrew Fastow, Enron's former finance chief, accepted a 10-year prison sentence in a plea-bargain deal in which he agreed to testify against his former bosses. Had he not cut the deal, he would have faced 98 counts of fraud, money laundering, insider trading and other …
Small town sociopaths
My first blog article back in January, How many sociopaths are in your town?, was about the fact that sociopaths can be found in any community. Experts estimate that 1% of the people in North America are sociopaths. This personality disorder is not defined by demographics. Sociopaths are male and female, rich and poor, any nationality, race or religion. In that post I talked about the Lovefraud Risk Calculator, which estimates how many sociopaths are in a given community. (Click on the Risk Calculator link on Lovefraud.com.) I gave examples of a few cities—New York, Phoenix, and tiny Skippack, Pennsylvania. I was a bit nervous about including Skippack, population 706. I've driven through t …
The amazing audacity of sociopaths
Last week, Ed Hicks was sentenced by a Virginia court to a year in jail for bigamy. He had been married seven times, with four of his marriages overlapping. The bigamy charge was for marrying wife number six, Julie Flint, while still married to wife number five, Rose Marie Sewell. He has already served four months, so he'll be locked up for approximately eight more months. Wife number seven, Sandra Phipps, originally pressed the bigamy charge—Hicks married her while still married to Julie. Her case was not prosecuted due to a loophole in Virginia law. Still, the fact that Hicks was sentenced at all is a victory for the women—most bigamists get off with a slap on the hand. Both Sandra an …
Sociopaths, children and the legal system
Robert from Illinois has sent a few e-mails to Lovefraud. He was married to a woman who he believes is a sociopath—he describes the relationship as non-emotional and loveless, with constant financial and verbal attacks. Robert is now divorced, but has a five-year-old son with the woman. Here's what Robert wrote in a recent e-mail: "Even though I told my divorce lawyer that my ex was a sociopath, he said, all you're doing is giving her a label. You still have to have evidence she is unfit to your son. I told her once that my son wants to live with me and guess what she said ?. She said, You're not getting my son. Typical sociopath response." The response of Robert's lawyer is common i …
Las Vegas blog says Haberman is not to blame
Last week the Lovefraud Blog reported that Phil Haberman, who recently received an other-than-honorable discharge from the military and failed in his quest to get a Purple Heart, is currently online looking for love. Haberman's MySpace.com profile says he was hurt in Iraq and he's still in the reserves—just a few of his bogus claims. The Las Vegas Review Journal included Haberman in a recent article about men who wear military medals that they didn't earn. Glenn Campbell, author of the Family Court Chronicles blog in Las Vegas, sees nothing wrong stolen valor. "Let the boys play," he writes. Campbell expressed his views on the Review Journal article in a commentary called Cads on P …
