How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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I dated an athletic, rich, gorgeous guy who led a double life

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Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Constance21" about the man she dated — a gorgeous guy who led a double life. I met my partner at age 31, just when I'd almost given upon finding true love. He checked all the boxes and then some. I gloated with pride whenever people asked if he had any brothers or friends like him. Tall, 6-pack, former college athlete, millionaire parents, corporate finance executive, dressed like he stepped out from a page of GQ, quiet, no known vices, never been married and had no kids, and lastly had a soft spot for rescue dogs. Too good to be true you say? Had I known then what I know now, I'd be $50,000 richer and wouldn't h …

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Why Worrying Makes Matters Worse

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains why worrying makes matters worse — when you're obsessing about the bad, you can't see the good. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest Do you remember the expression "worrywart"? I wonder if anyone still uses it. I haven't heard it in years. Hmmm, that makes me sound older than dirt. Whether or not anyone uses that phrase, one thing is for sure: All over the world, people still worry a lot, whether they are called "worrywarts" or not. I used to be one of those people. I suppose I came by it honestly enough. I'm sure it had its roots in childhood, growing u …

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What does a healthy relationship look like?

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Editor's note: Caroline Parsons is an attorney from Queensland, Australia. Today she poses questions to help you determine if you have a healthy relationship — with a partner and with yourself. Learn more about Caroline Parsons on the Lovefraud Announcements page or in her author profile. By Caroline Parsons, Esq. There’s a litmus test question for determining whether you are in an abusive relationship. Have you ever asked yourself, “Is this what marriage/love/living together is supposed to be like?” We all have issues with our partners from time to time. Two independent adults living together will always cause a certain amount of friction. Most of us accept a level of give and take in our …

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No One Can “Make You Feel” Hurt, Angry, or Anything Else

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains an empowering concept — despite what you may think, no one can make you feel hurt, angry or any other emotion. Knowing this, you can take back your power. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest "He makes me so angry!" "You make me jealous when you see your friends!" "I'll make her feel so guilty for this..." "Oh, I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings!" Sound familiar in general, if not specifically? No doubt you've been down that road a time or two, on one side of those statements or the other. These are the kinds of statements many people make on a r …

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I am embarrassed about falling for his lies

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story by a reader whom we'll call, "Cindy21." She was with a man who manipulated and swindled her for 10 years, and she is embarrassed about falling for his lies. My story runs the course of 10 years. It involves two cancers, a motor vehicle accident, MS and much heartache. He stole my home and had me finance a business that I was 95% owner to 5% and when my daughter was critically ill and I had no money he threw me out. He said if I didn't sign a contract for $60,000 to buy me out of a home I had over $100,000 and a business that at the time was grossing 300,000, that as he put "If you don't do it you get nothing b*tch." Over the …

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Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains that the way to recover from the sociopath and move forward in life is to focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest If you're living with a sociopath or the fallout from one, you could well have found yourself dwelling on all the pain, frustration, betrayal, fear, and other emotions that have become "the norm." I mean, when you've been immersed in such a toxic, negative situation, it seems impossible - if not ridiculous - to envision moving past those feelings. Your world has gradually slid into a place that you …

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Warn your children about people who enjoy taking from others

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Editor's note: Caroline Parsons is an attorney from Queensland, Australia. Today she suggests that one way to protect your children is to warn them about people who enjoy taking from others. Learn more about Caroline Parsons on the Lovefraud Announcements page or in her author profile. By Caroline Parsons, Esq. There’s a game played by primary school children in the Middle East. Each child is given a bucket and a number of blank slips of paper. The child is encouraged to write kind descriptive words (such as “friendly”, “caring” or “smart”) on these slips of paper. They all then go around the classroom, placing these words into other children’s buckets. The teacher asks how everyone is fee …

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Make It a Beautiful Day…In Spite of the Sociopath

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Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, offers suggestions for finding moments of joy in our day, in spite of the sociopath. Read more about Liberty. By Liberty Forrest The sun is rising, casting a soft, rosy glow across the cool grey sky, gently warming all it surveys as it quietly welcomes us to yet another new day. Sleepily, we climb out of our comfortable cocoons, yawning and stretching as we shuffle off to the kitchen for that hot cup of tea or that steaming mug of coffee, sliding ourselves into our lives for one more morning, not remotely noticing the glorious New Day that lies before us, brimming over …

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Lessons after the sociopath: Real love is easy

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UPDATED FOR 2021: On this Valentines Day, if you've been previously devastated by a sociopath, you may wonder if you can ever love again. The answer is yes. And here's a bit of wisdom that will help you decide if a new romantic partner is authentic and true: Real love is easy. I am living proof. In February 2000, I was divorced from James Montgomery, who took a quarter of a million dollars from me, cheated throughout our brief two-and-a-half-year relationship, had a child with another woman while married to me, and then married that woman 10 days after I left him, committing bigamy. I was crushed. After I left Montgomery, I had one nice relationship with a man, although it didn't turn …

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When you feel the snap, it’s time to escape the toxic relationship

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Editor's note: Caroline Parsons is an attorney from Queensland, Australia. Today she explains how many  family violence survivors feel the snap — they're done with the abuse and they're leaving. Learn more about Caroline Parsons on the Lovefraud Announcements page or in her author profile. By Caroline Parsons, Esq. A common but antiquated question in the family violence debate (using gendered language for historical accuracy) is “why didn’t she leave?” Answers include that he convinced her the problems were her fault and he promised to change. Clearly the more important question then is, “why did he abuse her?” But that is the topic of another post. In my view, the better question to be as …

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