How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

After the sociopath, I have recovered but I’m still scarred for life

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Andrea19." I married a sociopath who charmed me when I was at a very lonely & depressed time in my life. After only a few months of knowing him, we ended up married. He was younger than me and seemed to have it together. Very handsome, quiet & smart. I had just lost a family member and was devastated & grieving. Our relationship consisted of very high highs and very low lows, it was like being on a roller coaster. I was walking on egg shells all the time and felt in some ways that I had disappeared. His words were cruel & condescending when speaking of his ex, or anyone else he …

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Forgiveness and sociopathic abusers — what the Bible says

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Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED. BSC/MT As a Christian, I am required to forgive someone if they repent from their misdeeds. Genuine repentance means that a person completely refuses to engage in former abusive behaviors, especially when it comes to how that person behaves with you. Humility is required of all human beings in determining that we many have hurt someone by something we have said or done. Are we required to keep forgiving abusers? In the Bible, God is clear about the requirements for forgiveness. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the …

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After the sociopath, I have finally found who I was meant to be

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader. Names have been changed. My name is Elisa. I was born in Central America. I lived in my native country until I was 18. I was raised by my two parents. As an adult I have identified that every male role model in my family was a narcissist, including my dad and grandparents. I went to school in Texas. I had two boyfriends prior to my college days, which by studying all the information I can diagnose them with either narcissistic tendencies or BPD. Male figures with these characteristics where what normal was for me. I didn't know better. During my freshman year I met Tom — he was my brother's roommate. I found him …

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How did your family member become mind controlled by a sociopath?

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Perhaps you're a heartbroken mother or father, worried sick about your adult child, who is entangled with a sociopath and becoming more and more distant. Or perhaps you're an adult child, afraid that the new person in the life of your mother or father is an exploiter, angling for your parent's assets. Whether it's a family member or friend, it's painful to see someone you care about being mind controlled by a human predator. And you wonder, how did this happen? Here are some points to help you understand the process. Essentially, sociopaths —people with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorder — take advantage of the characteristics that …

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16 sociopathic quirks — what have you seen?

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By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed BSC/MT While engaged the struggle with toxic people, I kept a subconscious diary of behaviors, words, movements and facial expressions for various types of sociopaths that I encountered in my life. Perhaps you have observed the polar opposite of my top 16 list. Maybe you have some more you would like to add? Please feel free to comment below. 1 . They are binge-watchers of shows/movies about sociopaths, psychopaths and oversexed women. Some examples: Dexter, Sherlock, The Godfather, Sex and the City, Breaking Bad. You get the idea. These programs glorify their disorder. I believe it validates their behaviors. Perhaps they are picking up on new ideas on …

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Sociopathic seduction: Three months of romance, then it falls apart

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received this story from a European woman whom we'll call, "Johanna." I met a man in Facebook. He wasn't my friend but started to write his thoughts, which were so ideal, beautiful and intriguing. He idealized woman and described how he would spend time with woman by loving her so deeply. I analyzed his writings because I was recognizing some depression or bitterness in his writings. It was unusual writings from man. I was a specialized nurse and also specialized in depression. Man was a bit irritated when I did that and I promised not to analyze his writings any longer. He told he was working in high rank in the army. (He did.) But as the writings …

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Why you can become addicted to a sociopath

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Updated for 2019 Lovefraud received the following email from a reader: Why can't I get past this jerk? Why do I feel like there is something wrong with me? You see he dumped me for a female version of himself, i.e., drug dealer, liar, manipulator, violent — and he is stringing me along bad mouthing her to me and vice versa. Never in a million years would I think I would even associate myself with someone like that! Yet I'm beating myself up - why not me?? I should be grateful!! Why am I still pining for this creep? Many, many Lovefraud readers have described the same confusion: I realize now that the person is a sociopath. I know he betrayed me. I know he is bad for me. But I still love …

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Fraud at first sight — seduced by a sociopathic woman and her parents

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By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed BSC/MT Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud — Sophocles Sociopaths scramble their target’s ability to discern the truth about how a situation or person could potentially be dangerous. Our brains are designed to notice patterns, and make decisions based on the anticipation of these patterns. Because the sociopath confuses the target with lies and alternate kind/cruel behaviors, it becomes nearly impossible for the target to identify that carefully constructed façade that hides the true self, which in reality, is an empty vessel with no identity. Let us consider “Michael,” a tough military guy trained to detect danger. Michael meets …

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Is he a sociopath or am I the toxic person?

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Carolina." I am completely confused about what actually happened and what is going on. I recently broke up with my boyfriend — we have been on and off for the past 18 years — I met him when I was 10 years old. He made me think he was the perfect man. And that he was loyal honest trustworthy sincere caring my soul mate. I'm not a perfect person — I have made mistakes — but he always made me feel secure. I was really dependent on him — he was my whole world. I've always tried to self-evaluate and fix my behavior and I've always been open about talking to him about everything and anything and I thought he …

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Book Review: The psychopaths of the Holocaust

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Holocaust Memories: A survey of Holocaust memoirs, histories, novels, and films, by Claudia Moscovici Review by Donna Andersen Most of us have some knowledge of the Holocaust. We've heard about the concentration camps and gas chambers. We know one of Adolf Hitler's objectives during World War II was the "Final Solution" — an attempt to wipe out the Jewish population of Europe. We know that six million Jews were murdered, plus millions more Communists, prisoners of war, gypsies, intellectuals, handicapped people and others. We may have seen movies like Schindler's List and Sophie's Choice. Maybe we read The Diary of Anne Frank. But it's doubtful that we understand the true brutality …

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