By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED “Be who you were created to be, and you will set the world on fire”—St. Katherine of Siena Admitting abuse, especially by a family or family member, is extremely difficult. Families are supposed to be safe havens where you are loved unconditionally and respected as an individual. Being treated poorly is not normal. Those who are abused in families tend to make excuses for the abusers, especially abusive parents. To come to terms that abuse is taking place in your family is to admit the unthinkable, that you were never loved. So how can know you are part of a narcissistic family? What happens in a narcissistic family that makes it abusive? Please …
Video: Finally, how to break your addiction to the sociopath
For all of you who know intellectually that the sociopath is deceitful, abusive, dangerous and unhealthy — yet you struggle to put the person out of your life — this webinar is for you. EFT Tapping to Break Your Addiction to a Sociopath Wednesday, Sept. 25 • 8 - 9 pm ET Instructor: Stacey Vornbrock, MS, LPC You are not imagining your addiction. Stacey Vornbrock, a licensed professional counselor and expert on EFT tapping, explains how your cells really are addicted to certain emotions — emotions that the sociopath is an expert at triggering. This is amazing stuff. These techniques will enable you to finally get the sociopath out of your head and out of your heart, so you can move …
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How to help your child, parent, relative or friend escape a sociopath’s cult of one
Time and time again, I hear from parents who are worried sick about their adult child's involvement with a sociopath. I hear from adult children terrified for their parents, people concerned about brothers and sisters, others worried about friends. Their loved one is being deceived, manipulated, isolated and exploited by the sociopath. But the target won't listen and won't leave. Maybe you are one of the Lovefraud readers who has asked me, what can I do? Finally, Lovefraud is offering a webinar to directly answer your question. I am thrilled to announce that Steven Hassan, M.Ed., LMHC, NCC, the world-renowned expert in helping people escape cults (even cults of one person) will …
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15 typical crises sociopaths create in our lives — and how to start your recovery
Sociopaths can drain us of everything we've got. By the time many of us understand that we're dealing with a human predator, we look around and realize that we are depleted in many areas of our lives. Here are 15 typical crises caused by sociopaths: Our money is gone. We are heavily in debt and our credit is gone. Our housing situation is perilous — we are homeless, in danger of becoming homeless, or stuck living with the sociopath. We don't have reliable transportation. We're not working — the sociopath promised to support us, or we're working for the sociopath, or we are so stressed that we can't work. We've been isolated from family and friends. The sociopath has …
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Podcast: California con woman defrauds her Kiwi husband and his family
Love fraud is the theme of the latest true crime podcast created by ABC (Australia). Snowball tells the story of the fast-talking, charismatic California woman, Lezlie Manukian, who seduced, married and then swindled Greg Wards, a young man from New Zealand, and his family. The story was investigated by Ollie Wards, Greg's brother, who traveled the world to interview people who knew, and in some cases were also defrauded by, the seductive predator. In 2006, Ollie’s brother Greg was backpacking in London when he fell head-over-heels in love with Lezlie. They set up a new life in New Zealand, but only months after their showy wedding, things turned sour. Lezlie vanished from Greg’s …
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Narcissism — exploiting the tenets of love for personal gain
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Frederick19." When you yourself are controlled by outside forces that you yourself have allowed inside … are you still responsible? If those forces wrestle and usurp your very mind because what you thought was just innocent fun at the time, but now you have completely lost control of your spatial awareness and are now at the whims of what you have kowtowed too, are you responsible? Just because tragedy has befallen you, just because you yourself have made arguably some of the worst decisions a human being could ever make and as a result disaster has taken residence in your soul, do you think that is …
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I was one day away from sending money to the scammer
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Clara19." I was contacted through Pinterest. The thumbnail picture was a military man...seemed safe enough to chat. Went very interested in a romantic relationship too quickly. I got daily texted graphics proclaiming his love for me. This started to break my caution down. After a few weeks he started mentioning he needed money. He was on an oil rig and ran short of funds to pay shipping costs and I should sent 12,800 dollars to him. He gave me 3 different places to sent money over the course of a week. My bank thought it was fraudulent. I did further online research and found the scammers had …
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Dating apps lead to stronger marriages — really?
In the most recent issue of the Wall Street Journal (August 31, 2019), an essay extolls the miracle of dating apps. I read it with skepticism. Dating apps are making marriages stronger, by Dr. Peggy Drexler, on WSJ.com. To read the full article, you need to be a Wall Street Journal subscriber. So if you're not a subscriber, here's a summary: Research shows, according to the author, that online dating leads to better romantic compatibility and stronger marriages. In 2013, a University of Chicago study found that couples who met online had a higher "relationship quality" and a 25% lower rate of separation and divorce. The study also found that anonymous online communication …
Understanding the Sociopath — a new book by Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud
If you've been deceived and abused by a sociopath, you've probably asked yourself, "Why is he (or she) doing this?" I answer that question, and many more, in my new book, Understanding the Sociopath — Why antisocials, narcissists and psychopaths break the rules of life. The book goes on sale on October 1, 2019. This book is a curated collection of my Lovefraud blog articles that explains, in bite-sized pieces, how sociopaths behave, what motivates their behavior, and why they do what they do. Approximately 12% of the population — 30 million adults in the U.S. —are sociopaths — people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic …
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BOOK REVIEW: ‘The Batterer’ describes three types of male abusers
Editor's note: Lovefraud recognizes that sociopaths are both male and female. This article, however, is about male sociopaths. Updated for 2019 Often, the stories told here on Lovefraud about abusive relationships have so much in common that readers jokingly ask each other if they were involved with the same man. Still, there can be profound differences in the stories. For example, quite a few people have said that the men who abused them sometimes exhibited great shame. I was always mystified by this, because I never saw an ounce of shame in my psychopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. I assumed that those who were exhibiting shame were playacting. Maybe they weren't. A few …
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