How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Love Fraud book excerpt: What I learned when I called the other woman

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Earlier this year, I started publishing small excerpts from my book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. To start reading this series from the beginning, go to: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath) By Donna Andersen I had discovered that my husband, James Montgomery, was cheating on me. But what else was he doing? I had to know the truth. A phone bill arrived in the mail for James’ voice mail account—an account I didn’t know he had. I opened it and found call after call from someone in Pennsylvania. The phone number matched the one printed on the receipt for my husband’s new Gateway computer, under the name Sylvia Banning. The evening of …

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How childhood pain leads to involvements with sociopaths

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  Updated for 2019 Lovefraud recently received this letter from a woman whom we'll call "Nina." I'm posting Nina's story because many Lovefraud readers have told me of similar patterns in their lives. I love this man like I've never loved before. He seemed to be my soul mate.  I have had two failed marriages (no sex in them). I was touched by a neighbour starting when I was 10 and it continued for eight years. My father was totally controlling and I was not allowed friends or to go anywhere except to this neighbour. Both were depressed parents and did not show affection, only criticism. I have always felt alone but now am — parents dead, sister dead within last four years. …

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Love Fraud book excerpt: How my sociopathic husband ripped off the wife before me

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Earlier this year, I started publishing small excerpts from my book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. To start reading this series from the beginning, go to: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath) By Donna Andersen After I left my sociopathic husband, James Montgomery, I went through all the correspondence he left scattered around his office in my home. I found letters from the family of his deceased wife, whom he married before me. James certainly didn’t bother to make the family of his deceased wife whole. Instead, my husband ripped them off. James told me that Gale Lewis suffered a sudden heart attack. It happened on May 17, 1996, …

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A Lovefraud reader’s happy ending

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Updated for 2019 — a reminder to everyone that there can be love after the sociopath. Several years ago, Lovefraud heard from a reader whom we called "Rochelle." After 30 years, she'd reconnected with the first boy she ever loved. It felt like her chance to finally have the love she always wanted. Except that the boy, now a man, was a sociopath, and the love was a mirage. Rochelle knew he was disordered, but still she pined for him. She asked, "When does it get to the point where he stops taking up space in my brain?" Here's her story: Getting the sociopath out of your head She later wrote a Letter to Lovefraud detailing her experience: How sociopaths twist words and …

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Love Fraud book excerpt: Discovering the truth of my sociopathic husband’s lies

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Between now and the end of the year, I will publish excerpts from my first book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. I posted some excerpts earlier in the year. To start the series from the beginning, read: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath) By Donna Andersen I'd discovered the shocking truth — my husband, James Montgomery, not only cheated on me. He had a child with another woman during our marriage. And that was just the one of his betrayals … What else did James do? How many women were there? The questions in my mind multiplied exponentially. Maybe my husband’s office—his audacious lair right in my home—held answers. For more than …

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Despite my education, I knew nothing about sociopaths, says ob/gyn doctor

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call, "drsusan." I am a 60 year old retired OB/Gyn MD. I was married for 20 years to a man who turned out to be a narcissist. Despite my education I knew nothing about these types of people or the co-dependency phenomenon in which I was enmeshed. We share 3 sons. I became aware that he was a narcissist in 2000, when one of my patients who knew him casually mentioned it to me. He had recently shocked me by telling me he wanted a divorce, and once I began researching things, saw that his controlling and bullying behavior were signs of narcissism. As the divorce progressed I became aware of all the …

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Love Fraud book excerpt: My marriage to the sociopath was over

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Earlier this year, I published excerpts from my first book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. Between now and the end of the year, I'll publish some more. To start the series from the beginning, read: Meeting my future husband (the sociopath) By Donna Andersen I discovered proof that my husband, James Montgomery, was cheating on me. In fact, he'd had a child with another woman. Finally, I could leave. The marriage was over. But at that moment, my soon-to-be ex-husband was on his way to my home, the home that I paid for, in Atlantic City, New Jersey. I couldn’t let him know what I had discovered. I didn’t know what he would do, and I didn’t want …

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On Thanksgiving 2019, the energy of gratitude

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  One of the most healing energies of the universe is gratitude. No matter what your situation, finding something to be grateful for can help you move forward. This may seem difficult, especially if you've recently discovered that you've been betrayed by a sociopath. But even under these circumstances, you can be grateful that you have finally learned the truth. My own experience with a sociopath was shattering. But one thing that was demolished was the wall I had built around myself. With that gone, I was able to move forward and find true love and companionship, and for that I am grateful. To all Lovefraud readers, thank you for your contributions to our collective …

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I was almost too brainwashed to believe his sociopathic behavior

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "refresh1." It was a random comment I made to a mutual friend that started the whole nightmare. I made a passing comment that this individual would be my 'end up with' guy... eventually one day we'd probably end up together - it was an off-the-cuff overly romanticised comment about a 'charmer' that had always tried to pursue me. I hadn't seen him for years and I was in a long term relationship of seven years with a nice guy at the time. She told him! Almost immediately the sociopath came into my life, turning up to where I worked, making excuses to come into the shop where I would serve him and he …

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder – Domestic Violence in Same Sex Relationships

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from an Australian women whom we'll call Sheila19. Speaking Up about the mental and physical abuse I endured from my last relationship in South Australia is not easy and has taken me some time to finally put into words. For several months during 2019 I lived in fear for my safety from a female Narcissist who was also a perpetrator of Domestic Violence towards me and, while I knew her, was a regular methamphetamine drug user. I had unfortunately been an acquaintance of hers spanning over 3 years. Due to fears that I would be physically targeted or my home attacked if I spoke up was a scary reality and this is exactly the …

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