Great sex. Many people who have slept with a sociopath say it was the best sex they ever had. I surveyed Lovefraud readers for my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud – 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath, and 78 percent said "sexual magnetism" was characteristic of their relationship. Why is that? First of all, sociopaths are hard-wired for sex. Secondly, sociopaths are frequently good lovers. Rating sex with sociopaths People who have had sex with sociopaths almost always rave about it. "Swept off my feet by the most intense sexual experience," wrote one respondent to the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey. The sentiment was echoed over and over again. I asked, "If you had sex wi …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I provided her a road map to my life
Editor's Note: The following post was written by a Lovefraud reader who comments as RobertinSeattle. He realized that in providing detailed answers in an online profile, he provided a female predator with a road map to his life. Boy, I've started and re-started this post several times. Each time, a new idea or thought comes up that changes what I want to convey in my first open post about a recent breakup that started from a popular online dating site. But let me start off with some general observations: I've noted on many websites and blogs that sociopaths make up anywhere from 1% - 4% of our society. And that male sociopaths outnumber females by as many as 8-to-1. While I might agree …
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The hard truth: Evil sociopaths exist
Our society rarely talks about evil. There’s little discussion of morality, and even less of its opposite — wickedness. As a result, we don’t know that evil sociopaths exist, so we don’t know to protect ourselves from them. I can’t tell you how many times people told me, while relating their awful stories of being deceived and betrayed, “I didn’t know people like this existed.” They do. So why is there no discussion? Why don’t we know about evil sociopaths? I can think of two reasons, one related to cultural change, and the other to confusion about terminology. Cultural change When I first started my career in the early 1980s, the term “politically correct” came into vogue. The …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: What would you do and what would you think?
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Maryjane." She describes a lifetime of abuse from her family members, and asks 'what would you do?' If your husband, whom you found out had affairs all during your marriage, had a child with his secretary, paid her hush money, came on to your mother, grandmother, and another sister, told you that he had an affair with your sister during the time frame that you were readying for divorce, would you believe him? Also, this man gambled away most all the money in the marriage on football and golf betting (at a country club that you were the member of, not him, as he ran up bills) and was an alcoholic. And …
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Discernment of sociopaths as preventive naturopathic medicine
By Dr. Laura Rubiales Today I want to talk to you about a concept most people don’t want to breach. Evil exists. Most health coaches and naturopathic doctors talk about healthy lifestyle choices to create health. I am here to educate you on a major one to prevent major health issues: Discerning and setting boundaries with sociopaths… In her book, The Sociopath Next Door by Harvard trained psychologist Dr. Martha Stout, she discusses the Law of 3’s: If you catch a person in three lies, don’t trust them with your heart or your money. The premise of it is that if they are caught in three lies, odds are they have no conscience and are likely a sociopa …
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3 reasons why you encounter a sociopath later in life
Perhaps you’re in your 40s, 50s or 60s — and you have just come to the shocking realization that you have a sociopath in your life. Maybe even multiple sociopaths. So you wonder — why did you encounter a sociopath later in life? I have three answers for this question. One is about awareness, another is about life stages and the last is about healing purpose. Awareness of sociopaths I am willing to bet that sociopaths were always in your life — you just didn’t know it. By sociopaths, I mean people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorder. (The original definition of “sociopath” was “anything deviated or …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Email to self – do not go back to the disordered partner!
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from the reader who posts as “Duped no more!" She wanted to remind herself why she should not go back to the disordered partner {A brief definition of my breaking NC, after almost 9 months, and a brief explanation of the experience and what I would say if I had to explain it to someone else. I had to send it to myself because there is nobody else but you who would understand} "I went back for you, with my heart in my hand and you just devoured it with no care nor consceince." Nothing has changed; don't listen no more; don't go back! This is it. I have seen and heard what I needed to and now it's time to move forward once a …
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Why do sociopaths intentionally provoke you?
Your sociopathic partner picks, picks, picks at you. “You’re a lousy mother and the kids hate you,” he says. “You’re so stupid that you’re lucky you don’t get fired,” she says. The nasty comments keep coming. You’re upset but try not to say anything — until you can’t contain your emotions anymore and you explode. Then the sociopath smiles. Why do sociopaths intentionally provoke you? The key to understanding this behavior is knowing what sociopaths truly want in life — power and control. Everything else is secondary. Social motivation Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and Lovefraud author, believes that the sociopath’s out-of-control drive for dominance is the motivating forc …
Listen to Donna Andersen on KSCO radio
What is a sociopath? What are the warning signs? How can you avoid them? I talked about all things sociopath on The Nighthawk Resurrected radio show on KSCO AM 1080 in Santa Cruz, California. The hosts, Ginni and Kelly Powers, asked lots of great questions about Lovefraud, sociopaths, and how they impact society. It was a long interview on March 25, 2025, and as usual, I had plenty to say. You can listen here: Donna Andersen interview on KSCO AM 1080 …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A thank you note to my sociopath
Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader "Adelle." It's a thank you note to the sociopath who targeted her. You'll see why. To the sociopath: I just want to thank you for all the things you do that keep me away from you! Had you not done those things or continue to do them, I may have thought you'd changed. You know we here at Lovefraud sometimes give you sociopaths too much credit! You guys are not as bright and slick as we think you are. You keep doing the things that confirm who and what you are. If you would just walk away, respect and accept the fact that you have been dumped, maybe you could fool us again into thinking you have an ounce of dignity. …
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