How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / Lovefraud Blog

Married to a senior sociopath: It never gets any better

//  by //  4 Comments

Editor’s note: My new book, “Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers,” goes on sale May 17. I’m posting a series of articles to preview the book. Today’s topic: “Married to a senior sociopath.” No one intentionally marries a sociopath. We marry someone who seems to be loving, caring and shares our interests and values. It’s only later — sometimes many years later — that we realize the person we thought we married doesn’t exist. My book, Senior Sociopaths, is based on surveys that I did with Lovefraud readers in which I asked them to describe their experiences with people who were age 50 or older and whom they believed were sociopaths. Of the 2,120 people respond …

Married to a senior sociopath: It never gets any betterRead More

The man of my dreams led a double life of cheating, drugs and porn

//  by //  2 Comments

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Carmen22” about her experience with a senior sociopath and his double life of cheating, drugs and porn. Names are changed. I don't know where to start. I lost my husband to a freak accident 18 years ago. We had very young children at the time. I suffered because of blaming myself for his death, which is a whole other story. I got into bad relationships with men and turned to alcohol. I, from time to time turned to alcohol to ease my pain but it became a problem. I had to work so hard on myself to get sober. Between my faith in God, my church and the support of AA, I managed to overcome it. I made the …

The man of my dreams led a double life of cheating, drugs and pornRead More

Senior sociopaths and dating: Mature partners aren’t always safe partners

//  by //  4 Comments

Editor’s note: My new book, “Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers,” goes on sale May 17. I’m posting a series of articles to preview the book. The first topic: “Senior Sociopaths and Dating.” If you’re an adult who is looking for a date, know this: Potential partners who appear to be mature can still be extremely dangerous to your emotions, psyche, health and finances. My new book, Senior Sociopaths, thoroughly documents what can happen and offers suggestions on avoiding and escaping predatory relationships. The book is based on two surveys in which I specifically asked Lovefraud readers about their experiences with over-50 individuals whom they believed were …

Senior sociopaths and dating: Mature partners aren’t always safe partnersRead More

Why sociopaths succeed: Style matters more than substance

//  by //  7 Comments

UPDATED FOR 2022. Charismatic, glib, grandiose, magnetic, energetic sociopaths are typically described in these terms. Here's why sociopaths succeed: No matter what they actually do and say, these men and women have style. And, according to a classic experiment in education research, style is all that is needed to be respected and believed. Back in 1970, Dr. Donald H. Naftulin, director of Continuing Education in Psychiatry at the University of Southern California School of Medicine, and colleagues, conducted an experiment to test the hypothesis that student ratings of educators depend largely on personality variables and not on educational content. The experiment was ingenious, and in …

Why sociopaths succeed: Style matters more than substanceRead More

Sociopaths say you’re crazy – and you believe them

//  by //  28 Comments

UPDATED FOR 2022. The sociopath behaves badly: Lying and then lying to cover up the lies. Disappearing for days without explanation. Draining your finances. Cheating and you have proof! Yet the sociopaths says you're crazy! You are understandably upset. Justifiably angry. Yet when you confront the perpetrator, not only does the sociopath deny, deny, deny, he or she says it never happened, you imagined it all, and you're paranoid. In fact, you're losing your mind! You should be committed! You are so confused that you think the sociopath may be right. Are you losing your mind? How does this happen? How does the sociopath lie, manipulate and deceive, yet you feel like you're the one …

Sociopaths say you’re crazy – and you believe themRead More

Why do psychopaths want to mess with your head?

//  by //  28 Comments

UPDATED FOR 2022: A Lovefraud reader once asked, in so many words, why do psychopaths want to mess with your head? Here's her exact question: Why is it so important to psychopaths to get inside someone's head and "mess with them," such as gas lighting, and other head games? This particular Lovefraud reader has endured stalking behavior from a psychopathic man for years. He has put her under surveillance, driven her from apartments, interfered with her job, and more — for no discernable reason. They were not romantically involved. He did not take money from her. So the question is, why does he bother? Dominance behavioral system It's a question that goes to the core of the p …

Why do psychopaths want to mess with your head?Read More

Sadists and narcissists — similarities and differences

//  by //  Leave a Comment

By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., CCBP, BC Sadists and narcissists — are they the same? Pathological personalities can overlap each other with their complexities and commonalities. Over the years, definitive conclusions as to whether a sadist is a narcissist, and vice-versa, have been lacking and debate has been ongoing. A person can be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, which is a cluster B disorder according to the DSM V. This is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association. However, the opposite is true for a sadist, at least presently. There is no official diagnosis of sadism. Sadism was once referred to as Sadistic Personality D …

Sadists and narcissists — similarities and differencesRead More

Asperger’s syndrome protected me from my sociopath ex-fiancé

//  by //  2 Comments

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader in the Middle East, whom we’ll call Neoxes. English is not his first language, so his story has been edited for clarity. Neoxes has Asperger’s syndrome, which he believes helps him to identify sociopathic predators. He says Asperger's syndrome protected him from a marriage to a sociopath. I'm 41 years old and I have Asperger Syndrome! I can say I’m successful in my life and job. I think this syndrome is a gift for me. Four years ago, when I was 37, I met a 27-year-old girl. My goal was marriage and to have a family so it was important for me that I can be married to a girl of the same or near to my status. On the fir …

Asperger’s syndrome protected me from my sociopath ex-fiancéRead More

How to protect yourself from sociopaths in 3 easy steps

//  by //  42 Comments

UPDATED FOR 2022. Yes, you can protect yourself from sociopaths. You can stop them from coming into your life and causing serious damage. I'm going to tell you how to do it in three easy steps: Step 1 — Know that sociopaths exist Millions of sociopaths live among us. I am not exaggerating that number. I use the word "sociopath" as an umbrella term for four serious personality disorders. They are: Antisocial personality disorder /psychopathy Narcissistic personality disorder Borderline personality disorder Histrionic personality disorder Although there are clinical differences among these disorders, there are many similarities. People who have these disorders are usually …

How to protect yourself from sociopaths in 3 easy stepsRead More

Suddenly he says his mom died — a sociopathic seduction strategy

//  by //  Leave a Comment

You’re chatting or texting with your new romantic partner. You make plans to get together, and suddenly he says his mom died and he has to break the plans. You react to the tragedy with shock and sympathy. Of course, you understand, and you’ll be there when he needs you. But what if it’s not true? What if when he says his mom died, he was lying? This happened to a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call Charlene22. Her story is below. Names are changed. Lovefraud reader's story I met Rick on Tinder in early January. We sent only a few messages back and forth before he asked for my snapchat so we could communicate there instead. We continued to talk every day for about a week, and had plan …

Suddenly he says his mom died — a sociopathic seduction strategyRead More